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"Complaining" HP! [Scott Pakin's complaint-letter generator] 
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Post "Complaining" HP! [Scott Pakin's complaint-letter generator]
Please read my whole message before commenting. This game is intended *just for fun*

Hello to all,

I want to start a stupid and ridiculous game :P

I'm using Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator to do some silly letters complaining about the behaviour of some HP! characters :lol: So we can laugh a lot :lol:

Therefore, you're welcome to participate and send your complaint letters :lol: :lol: :lol:

You can send the letters in PDF format, or copy & paste the text here. Please, at the end, *SIGN* your letter, like me :lol:

So, here is the first complaint letter about Bino! :lol:

clic here to see it

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Last edited by zdflion96 on Wed Jun 18, 2014 12:28 am, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Jun 17, 2014 11:20 pm
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Post Re: "Complaining" HP! [Scott Pakin's complaint-letter genera
I just hope Grape doesn't kill me when she sees this. :lol:

My complaint about Ms. Grape Jelly Sandwich

I occasionally receive inquiries from people who have read my previous letters and want to know why I claim that I resent being pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, and numbered. I always try to answer such inquiries to the best of my ability, and that's precisely what I'm about to do now. Those readers of brittle disposition might do well to await a ride on the next emotionally indulgent transport; this one is scheduled nonstop over rocky roads. As soon as you're strapped in I'll announce something to the effect of how Ms. Grape Jelly Sandwich undeniably believes that the rules don't apply to her. What kind of Humpty-Dumpty world is she living in? This is an important question because in asserting that she is as innocent as a newborn lamb, Grape demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision.

Grape wants to get on my nerves. This desire is implanted in a part of her brain that's immune to reason or argument. Consequently, there's no chance that we can get her to see that her mercenaries shout the foulest obscenities imaginable at anyone who dares to put the kibosh on her grievances. How much more illumination does that fact need before Grape can grasp it? Assuming the answer is “a substantial amount”, let me point out that the virus of desperadoism took control of our country's political life long ago. Now, thanks to Grape's witticisms, that virus will continue to spread until no one can recall that Grape's suggestions are unrealistic. If, after hearing facts like that, you still believe that ornery wisenheimers make the best scoutmasters and schoolteachers, then there is really no hope for you.

Why does Grape want to scupper my initiative to foster mutual understanding? Because I, not being one of the many brassbound slackers of this world, recommend that we get people to sign a petition to limit her ability to cause trouble. That's not the only reason, of course, but I'll get to the other reasons later. While she has been beating the drums of Mohockism, I've been trying to offer a framework for discussion so that we can more quickly reach a consensus. In doing so, I've learned that the acid test for Grape's “kinder, gentler” new expositions should be, “Do they still saddle the economy with crippling debt?” If the answer is yes then we can conclude that what really irks me is that Grape has presented us with a Hobson's choice. Either we let her extend her fifteen minutes of fame to fifteen months or she'll cause people to betray one another and hate one another. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that her faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree. Finally, no letter about Ms. Grape Jelly Sandwich would be complete without mention of some of the utterly ruthless schemes that Grape supports. Although there are a plenitude of examples from which to choose, the most ruthless would have to be Grape's proposal to provide the pretext for police-state measures. That's the sort of thing that keeps me up at night.

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Last edited by Saturn381 on Wed Jun 18, 2014 12:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Jun 17, 2014 11:32 pm
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Post Re: "Complaining" HP! [Scott Pakin's complaint-letter genera
Thanks Saturn, actually I think the system knows Grape :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Tue Jun 17, 2014 11:35 pm
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Post Re: "Complaining" HP! [Scott Pakin's complaint-letter genera
Interesting... But posting a link to the result gets everytime a different text.

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Wed Jun 18, 2014 10:30 am
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Post Re: "Complaining" HP! [Scott Pakin's complaint-letter genera
Yes, I see. That's the reason I used PDF format, but as Saturn did, copying & pasting the text is also possible :D

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Wed Jun 18, 2014 12:37 pm
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Post Re: "Complaining" HP! [Scott Pakin's complaint-letter genera
It's time to tell the truth about Mr. Zach Arbelt. In the first place, Zach has been going around saying that everyone who fails to think and act in strict accordance with his requirements is an iscariotic evildoer. That's a bit of a furphy. The truth is that Zach is more than merely harebrained. He's über-harebrained. In fact, Zach is so harebrained that anyone who has spent much time wading through the pious, obscurantist, jargon-filled cant that now passes for “advanced” thought in the humanities already knows that I am confident that vulgar clowns will come to their own conclusions about all of these matters. What may be news, however, is that Zach is a being who invents nothing, originates nothing, and improves nothing. All he does is increase people's stress and aggression. One last thing: Mr. Zach Arbelt spends a substantial amount of time searching for his own name on the Web and glorying in the manifold mentions of his coruscating genius.

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Tue Jan 20, 2015 9:54 pm
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Post Re: "Complaining" HP! [Scott Pakin's complaint-letter genera
Oh my, I'm not sure Peanut is the cute dog we all know and love....

After weeks of observation and reflection, I have finally reached the conclusion that Peanut B. Sandwich's unbalanced propositions are a blueprint for the widespread institution of gnosticism. What follows is a series of remarks addressed to the readers of this letter and to Peanut himself. He seems to be involved in a number of illegal or borderline-illegal activities. For Peanut and his bootlickers, tax evasion and financial chicanery are scarcely outside the norm. Even financial fraud and thievery seem to be okay. What's next? Projecting a stream of puerile images of death, sex, disaster, material goods, celebrities, and other fixtures in a mock-Olympian firmament? I can say only that Peanut is obviously under the influence of LSD or some other hallucinogenic. Why else would he insist that he is a master of precognition, psychokinesis, remote viewing, and other undeveloped human capabilities?

One of these days, Peanut might be diagnosed with a special type of mental illness that is not yet recognized. But for now, be aware that I wish I didn't have to be the one to break the news that his assertions are now a staple of his sympathizers' biases. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to pass by anything that may help me make my point. So let me just state that in order to solve the big problems with Peanut we must first understand these problems, and to understand them, we must develop an alternative community, a cohesive and comprehensive underground with a charter to teach merciless bottom-feeders about tolerance. Surprisingly, he claims to favor the teaching of critical thinking in schools. You should beware of such claims from Peanut, though. To him, “critical thinking” is a code word for “correct” thinking where “correct” means “pro-classism”. In my opinion, it would be better for students to learn that Peanut insists that shambolic dodos and invidious boeotians should rule this country. That story is full of more holes than a cheap hooker with a piercing fetish and a heroin habit.

At no time in the past did diabolic finks shamble through the streets of cities, demanding rights they imagine some supernatural power has bestowed upon them. Peanut is not a responsible citizen. Responsible citizens focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of an abhorrent agenda. Responsible citizens indeed do not interfere with the most important principles of democracy. Of course, I'm generalizing a little here. But that's only because he says that he has the experience, ideas, leadership, and integrity to move our nation forward. But then he turns around and says that the purpose of education is not to produce independent thinkers but submissive state subjects. You know, you can't have it both ways, Peanut. As this letter draws to a close, let us remind our enemies that we will commit to practices that build community and eliminate behaviors that work against what we are dedicated to building. In this task we shall not flag or fail. Whatever the cost may be, we shall pronounce the truth and renounce the lies. We shall go on to the end. We shall, with growing confidence and growing strength, take up the all-encompassing challenge of freedom, justice, equality, and the pursuit of life with full dignity. We shall never surrender.

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Wed Jan 21, 2015 10:54 pm
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