Housepets!

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:38 am**

Granted. Your daddy wishes they were funny.

I wish for a panic button.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:45 am**

Granted. But it's behind plexiglass so you can't press it.
I wish for Jack's extra $6300.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 10:07 am**

The lawyer gives you '$6300' but you onle receive $63.00

I wish for world domination.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 10:18 am**

granted: have fun on jerk moon!

i wish for internet memes.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 10:41 am**

Granted. But your internet isn't working so you can't access them.

I wish for a decent lawyer.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:22 am**

granted: but he's bad at math.... lolz

i wish for a pants ferret.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:36 am**

Granted, but PETA gets mad at you for wearing fur.

I wish for better jokes.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:42 am**

Granted, unfortunately it's this one

I wish for longer lunches.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:45 am**

granted you are stuck with slob and mud for 78 hours.....

i wish for TNT!

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:50 am**

Granted, it's a dud.

I wish for no more dictators

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:57 am**

Granted, they are now called tyrants.

I wish for an Oxford American Dictionary. Webster was a wimp.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:19 pm**

granted. there is one Oxford American Dictionary in a pile of thousands of Websters. bwhahahahahaha!

i wish for a cream cookie.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:34 pm**

You get one but you are also teleported into an arena filled with crazy and hungry cookie and cream lovers.

I wish for a bridge connecting Eurasia and the Americas.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:43 pm**

Granted. With a $500 toll.

I wish for high speed rail in the USA.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:44 pm**

granted. but i destroy it with B-2A Spirit bomber with a nuclear payload.

i wish for an alien war.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:52 pm**

A war breaks out between two alien factions at a star in the Andromeda Galaxy.

I wish for infinite soda.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:56 pm**

Granted. FIREHOSE!

I wish people in the office would make coffee when they finish a pot.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 1:29 pm**

granted.....but its the dreaded eight o clock coffee......you can only drink it at exactly eight o clock!!!!!

i wish for a orange.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 5:26 pm**

Granted, it's an orange CRAYON.

I wish for more underground railways in the US.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:08 pm**

Granted but they forgot to take the earth out of the tunnels.

I wish for a more efficient bus service in my town.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:40 pm**

Granted, but no one want to take you for a ride.

I wish I had better study environments.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 10:10 pm**

Granted. But the enviroments are full of loud people.

I wish for a box of crayons.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 10:18 pm**

You get a box of 2000's white crayons.

I wish for unlimited free access to every movie made ever.

Posted: **Fri Apr 12, 2013 10:44 pm**

Granted. But the FBI catches you and locks you up.

I wish for a theremin.

Posted: **Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:59 am**

Sorry, cannot really corrut this wish, a theremin is so amazing... Granted, but you only get this.

I wish for a moon to orbit our moon.

Posted: **Sun Apr 14, 2013 7:41 am**

Granted. This one's real. Nasa is working on the project now. Seriously.

I wish for more science fiction to come true.

Posted: **Sun Apr 14, 2013 8:44 am**

Granted but it's all the nasty stuff about aliens and probes and robots running riot and Weeping Angels.

I wish for the ability to enter and leave the world of any book I read at any time.

Posted: **Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:48 am**

Granted, everyone outside the books now hates every book because of your wish.

I wish I could get things done quicker.

Posted: **Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:56 am**

Granted. But you can never move at normal speed again.

I wish for the ability to change into any animal at will. And back again.

Posted: **Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:28 am**

Granted, but you don't remember anything that happens while you're the animal, and you keep finding dead squirrels and rats cached under your dresser. Worse, you find half a rat.

I wish I didn't think that one through.

Posted: **Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:11 am**

Granted. You thought through what happened to the other half of the rat instead. *shudders*

I wish for my own railroad complete with steam locomotives!

Posted: **Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:34 am**

Granted, but coal prices go up and you can't afford running the steam locomotives

I wish for a compass

Posted: **Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:39 am**

Granted. But it only points down.

I wish for 19th century studio camera complete with bellows and magnesium powder flash.

Posted: **Sun Apr 14, 2013 1:55 pm**

Granted, you get cancer from it all.

I wish I had better female friends.

Posted: **Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:21 pm**

Granted. They are now better than you and let you know.

I wish for a better grahics card.

Posted: **Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:26 pm**

Granted, it slowed down your computer.

I wish every video on YouTube was in HD.

Posted: **Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:09 pm**

Granted. But youtube crashes so you can't watch them.

I wish to learn to ride a horse.

Posted: **Mon Apr 15, 2013 8:25 am**

granted but that horse had to be broken first.....

i wish for a ship.

Posted: **Mon Apr 15, 2013 8:38 am**

Granted. It's the Titanic.

I wish for another bottle of wine.

Posted: **Mon Apr 15, 2013 8:45 am**

Granted, but now you can't find your croissant.

I wish for a pet demon.

Housepets!

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