FANTASY WORLD REPORT - Poink Developing Deadly Weapon
Fantasy World Report – (FP) Government officials have now confirmed the fears of the citizens of Toontown. Poink T. Weasel has recently developed a weapon that is even more destructive than the paint-thinner based “dip” substance. The weapon has the capability of wiping out cartoons within a 50-kilometer radius. It has the potential to kill between 5 million and 10 million out of the 20 million residents living in the Greater Toontown Metropolitan Area.
Though the substances in the weapon remain top secret, a diagram showing how the weapon works has been posted on Wikileaks. The substance is a solid that is stored at extremely low temperatures. As it sublimates due to the warmth of the environment, it releases a gas that melts ink even faster than dip. It can also cause fans in computers to short-circuit, and also damage ferromagnetic materials. If the gas were to reach as far as Palto Alto, digital cartoons responsible for much of Toontown’s population growth within the past decade could also be wiped out in a matter of minutes. It could take as little as 4 liters to destroy more cartoons than people during the holocaust.
Nobody currently knows why Poink was actively pursuing the development of such a weapon, since he himself is a cartoon. Some argue that it has to do with politics, despite Toontown being a US Territory that has no impact at the state and federal level. Others feel the problem could be deeply psychological. “It’s very disturbing, but not too uncommon,” said Dr. Otto. “Many people have a delusion that they should be in power, even if by force.”
The Department of Justice is currently doing a criminal investigation of the matter. Poink will likely face criminal charges. The design of the weapon may also be handed over to the military, mainly for its ability to permanently disable electronics.
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