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A Furry Love Story

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 5:04 pm
by Anthroguy101
This is something old having not updated in weeks, nor is it finished, but is also one of my first fictional pieces involving furry charcters. Please let me know what you think:
https://docs.google.com/document/edit?i ... y=CJSb5NUL

Re: A Furry Love Story

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 10:37 am
by Dr. Prower
Not bad, my friend. I like it. But wouldn't this topic be better suited for the Roleplaying/Fanfiction forum?

*brick'd for backseat modding*

Re: A Furry Love Story

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 5:27 pm
by Anthroguy101
Dr. Prower wrote:Not bad, my friend. I like it. But wouldn't this topic be better suited for the Roleplaying/Fanfiction forum?

*brick'd for backseat modding*
If it were fan fiction it would be related to Housepets, which it is not.

Re: A Furry Love Story

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 11:04 am
by Dr. Prower
...um...

*bricks self*

Re: A Furry Love Story

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 3:05 pm
by Adzo
very nice start to what I'm sure will be a very nice story. Good work.

Re: A Furry Love Story

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 5:01 pm
by Dusty
We need a writing forum. We already have one for art, kinda xD

Re: A Furry Love Story

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 6:31 pm
by Buckdida
Dusty wrote:We need a writing forum. We already have one for art, kinda xD
...

*Goes to pester Rick about changing the description of the "Media Median" forum*

EDIT: Would you look at that! *Starts moving threads*

Re: A Furry Love Story

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 7:09 pm
by zeekgenateer
I think the intro could use a firming up. The sentences all seem short and that makes it seem a little choppy. Maybe lengthen some or combine some together. Also with using the first person viewpoint I think you should strengthen your character's feelings and thought processes for the reader.

I am drawn by the premise in the exposition of the first chapter, though. I don't know how to watch google docs for updates, but if you post here when you add more I'll definitely check it out. Good luck!