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Joys And Sorrows 
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Sleet wrote:
Hey, at least y'all aren't 22 when your parents are trying to control you. :P



Get used to it.

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Sun Oct 21, 2012 8:04 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
I feel your pain Beagle. There comes a point where you just need to get away from the family and live on your own. If it's any consolation moving out actually made me enjoy spending time with my family and from what I've seen most people have better relationships with their parents after they move out. THey'll get alot more tolerable when you don't see them every day.
sorrow:got written up by an R.A. last night
Joy: there won't be any major consequences, it was more an annoyance than anything else.
Joy: This weekend was pretty good and I really needed that after all the stresses of last week.

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Sun Oct 21, 2012 8:18 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Family is much more pleasant when you get to choose whether or not you're there.

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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
I'm going to miss most of my family that I get to see at Thanksgiving because my band has a trip to march in a big Thanksgiving day parade.

I don't get to see them more than twice a year, but it's not even going to be that this year because of other things. My family is a little crazy, but I love seeing them.

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Sun Oct 21, 2012 8:37 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
JeffCvt wrote:
I can't even imagine what that would be like. Your parents want their 5 year old daughter back, while what my dad wanted me to do was "grow up and stop watching those stupid cartoons on TV." Whenever I couldn't figure something out, he would always go off about how I have to stop watching so much dumb TV that he always saw me watching. He didn't even take the time to realize that I stopped watching so many cartoons and only watched a few every now and then. And to be honest, I probably watched them because he was telling me not to. (Don't get me wrong, my Dad wants to support me in anything I do. Whether that be collage, the military, or even if I just wanted to mow grass or dig ditches for a living. Just as long as I'm making money and staying on a decent path in life)

Even if he's gotten a lot better I know how that can feel.


I wish my dad could scream at me over something as silly as cartoons. He basically uses any low blow he can to pull out something completely unrelated and try to make me look like the bad guy.
Radio Blue Heart wrote:
Sleet wrote:
Hey, at least y'all aren't 22 when your parents are trying to control you. :P



Get used to it.

I'm not going to get used to the verbal/emotional abuse of the past almost eighteen years, and then end up marrying someone exactly like my father; someone who will try to fight me and degrade me every day for my entire life. I've been fighting it right from the very moment I realized that this is wrong and I don't intend to stop now. I'm not some whiny, overly-dramatic teenager who just wants someone to blame, and this certainly is not the first time that I've dealt with his anger management issues. But a whole tale of stories is my business and not a public display on the internet. The reason I'm so open about it now is because my freedom is close that I can taste it by this point. I understand that everyone fights with their parents, but there's a line between the parent/teenager dynamic and uncalled-for nonsense.
Seth wrote:
I feel your pain Beagle. There comes a point where you just need to get away from the family and live on your own. If it's any consolation moving out actually made me enjoy spending time with my family and from what I've seen most people have better relationships with their parents after they move out. THey'll get alot more tolerable when you don't see them every day.

I've heard that before, and after a few days of being away from home, I get along with them for maybe two hours until my privacy is totally invaded and my intentions about anything and everything are questioned. Ever since I got my license I feel like I've been put on a leash. I've never given them a reason to not trust me but now I'm treated like a criminal half the time, every detail in my life interrogated out of me when I need to be planning my next big move with college or good will, instead of spending three hours backtracking when they'd have already known what's happening if they would have listened to me the first four times I told them. I don't hide anything but I guess that's not good enough for them. I really just feel like I have two leaches on my back half the time. I appreciate the clothes on my back and the food on my table, but would it kill them to just chill the heck out and trust me and stop patronizing me about everything? They raised me for 18 years and know who I am and how much I've accomplished as a young woman, so why is it that all of a sudden they try to make me take ten steps backwards?
The reason I don't openly gush about anything good in my life anymore is because they somehow turn it into negativity and an argument. Like, "Oh my daughter got accepted into one of the best colleges in the country? Better yell at her to get a job and freak out over a simple meal plan instead of being happy for her!" or, "Oh, she's got everything figured out with how she's going to accomplish her goals? Better tell her she doesn't know what she's doing and that she's being foolish instead of believing in her!"
I am looking forward to being away from them. They won't have any control over me and if I don't want to tell them something, I certainly don't have to. If I fail, then it's my fault and they can't do anything about it. And if I succeed, it will be because I spread my own wings and flew on my own.

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Sun Oct 21, 2012 9:02 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Sorrow: I really feel like I'm not going to get the job I was trying for, and I'm getting sick of not having a job
Joy: My bike will be getting fixed tomorrow hopefully.

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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
That sounds painful, Beagle, though like Jeff, I don't think I can imagine how it feels like. My mum has been a solid support through the good times and the bad, and still continues to be one now. He's also right about your parents being that way, maybe they just missed the little girl that they had raised before, and just can't come into terms that the little girl is now a fully-grown woman who's going to leave the nest anytime soon. I still think that somewhere deep inside they still love you, it's just that they don't know how to express that love in a way that isn't demeaning or hurtful, being insecure and guilty. I still support the idea of you leaving the home to start your own life, but given time, I'm pretty sure your parents will eventually understand and come into terms with the reality of their children being independent from them.
Sleet wrote:
Hey, at least y'all aren't 22 when your parents are trying to control you. :P

I'm 22, and my parents are the one leading my life, seeing that I'm terribly lost and insecure right now.

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Sun Oct 21, 2012 9:49 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
kurowolfe wrote:
That sounds painful, Beagle, though like Jeff, I don't think I can imagine how it feels like. My mum has been a solid support through the good times and the bad, and still continues to be one now. He's also right about your parents being that way, maybe they just missed the little girl that they had raised before, and just can't come into terms that the little girl is now a fully-grown woman who's going to leave the nest anytime soon. I still think that somewhere deep inside they still love you, it's just that they don't know how to express that love in a way that isn't demeaning or hurtful, being insecure and guilty. I still support the idea of you leaving the home to start your own life, but given time, I'm pretty sure your parents will eventually understand and come into terms with the reality of their children being independent from them.
Sleet wrote:
Hey, at least y'all aren't 22 when your parents are trying to control you. :P

I'm 22, and my parents are the one leading my life, seeing that I'm terribly lost and insecure right now.


kuro, I think you summed it up the best, because that sounds exactly like a lot of the problems we've had. My best solution at this point to hurt as few people as possible (including myself) is to just get out as soon as I can.
Joy: I really think I'm going to start a blog to show people what I've been writing about lately. I have a talent in the craft of writing and a big opinion with a lot to say. It's going to be interesting, to say the least.
Sorrow: I just need sleep. XD This weekend wasn't long enough.
Joy: Four day school week!!! *jumps for joy*

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Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:47 am
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Beagle wrote:
JeffCvt wrote:
I can't even imagine what that would be like. Your parents want their 5 year old daughter back, while what my dad wanted me to do was "grow up and stop watching those stupid cartoons on TV." Whenever I couldn't figure something out, he would always go off about how I have to stop watching so much dumb TV that he always saw me watching. He didn't even take the time to realize that I stopped watching so many cartoons and only watched a few every now and then. And to be honest, I probably watched them because he was telling me not to. (Don't get me wrong, my Dad wants to support me in anything I do. Whether that be collage, the military, or even if I just wanted to mow grass or dig ditches for a living. Just as long as I'm making money and staying on a decent path in life)

Even if he's gotten a lot better I know how that can feel.


I wish my dad could scream at me over something as silly as cartoons. He basically uses any low blow he can to pull out something completely unrelated and try to make me look like the bad guy.
Radio Blue Heart wrote:
Sleet wrote:
Hey, at least y'all aren't 22 when your parents are trying to control you. :P



Get used to it.

I'm not going to get used to the verbal/emotional abuse of the past almost eighteen years, and then end up marrying someone exactly like my father; someone who will try to fight me and degrade me every day for my entire life. I've been fighting it right from the very moment I realized that this is wrong and I don't intend to stop now. I'm not some whiny, overly-dramatic teenager who just wants someone to blame, and this certainly is not the first time that I've dealt with his anger management issues. But a whole tale of stories is my business and not a public display on the internet. The reason I'm so open about it now is because my freedom is close that I can taste it by this point. I understand that everyone fights with their parents, but there's a line between the parent/teenager dynamic and uncalled-for nonsense.
Seth wrote:
I feel your pain Beagle. There comes a point where you just need to get away from the family and live on your own. If it's any consolation moving out actually made me enjoy spending time with my family and from what I've seen most people have better relationships with their parents after they move out. THey'll get alot more tolerable when you don't see them every day.

I've heard that before, and after a few days of being away from home, I get along with them for maybe two hours until my privacy is totally invaded and my intentions about anything and everything are questioned. Ever since I got my license I feel like I've been put on a leash. I've never given them a reason to not trust me but now I'm treated like a criminal half the time, every detail in my life interrogated out of me when I need to be planning my next big move with college or good will, instead of spending three hours backtracking when they'd have already known what's happening if they would have listened to me the first four times I told them. I don't hide anything but I guess that's not good enough for them. I really just feel like I have two leaches on my back half the time. I appreciate the clothes on my back and the food on my table, but would it kill them to just chill the heck out and trust me and stop patronizing me about everything? They raised me for 18 years and know who I am and how much I've accomplished as a young woman, so why is it that all of a sudden they try to make me take ten steps backwards?
The reason I don't openly gush about anything good in my life anymore is because they somehow turn it into negativity and an argument. Like, "Oh my daughter got accepted into one of the best colleges in the country? Better yell at her to get a job and freak out over a simple meal plan instead of being happy for her!" or, "Oh, she's got everything figured out with how she's going to accomplish her goals? Better tell her she doesn't know what she's doing and that she's being foolish instead of believing in her!"
I am looking forward to being away from them. They won't have any control over me and if I don't want to tell them something, I certainly don't have to. If I fail, then it's my fault and they can't do anything about it. And if I succeed, it will be because I spread my own wings and flew on my own.
Beagle wrote:
Who cares, I only have eight months left of living here: So for the past few weeks, my parents have done nothing but shriek at me and degrade me and call me names when I'm trying to get ready for my future beyond this place, and I'm just not dealing with their crap anymore. I either don't deal with them by never being home, or I stand up for myself instead of lying down and taking verbal abuse. My dad just came into my room and got in my face and screamed at me some new empty threat. I really can't tell you what it was about because I was thinking about planning my school's food drive to feed the hungry this Thanksgiving. Something about "one week to improve my attitude or I'll shut this off and cancel this" and blah blah, whatever.
In two weeks, once marching season is over, and now that my car insurance and phone bill have reached record lows ($100 a month for both combined), I plan on getting a job to 1) Not be home and 2) Become financially independent of their crap. I have until June to leave for the summer college and I'm gone. I just can't deal with this anymore. My parents (particularly my dad) don't even know who I am anymore, all they want is the compliant little five year old girl that they used to have.



Parents can be pretty cruel sometimes, sweetheart. They get off on it.

I have been there. If your dad is anything like mine, he does it because it is an ego boost or he finds it mildly entertaining. I have not spoken to him in three years. I guess I would have to be around your parents to fully understand, but I can understand the pettiness of verbally abusing you over cartoons. My dad would hit me with a belt if he ever caught me watching reruns of "Ren & Stimpy". It sounds like he is just using any and every excuse to be mean to you and you do not have to take it. Once you are gone, all that hatefulness that they take out on you will turn in on themselves and they will be miserable.

Once your at college, be sparing with your pell grant money and go straight to the student employment office. They always have something available.

If you want to talk about this in more detail. Just PM me anytime you need someone to listen.

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Mon Oct 22, 2012 2:30 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Radio Blue Heart wrote:
Parents can be pretty cruel sometimes, sweetheart. They get off on it.

I have been there. If your dad is anything like mine, he does it because it is an ego boost or he finds it mildly entertaining. I have not spoken to him in three years. I guess I would have to be around your parents to fully understand, but I can understand the pettiness of verbally abusing you over cartoons. My dad would hit me with a belt if he ever caught me watching reruns of "Ren & Stimpy". It sounds like he is just using any and every excuse to be mean to you and you do not have to take it. Once you are gone, all that hatefulness that they take out on you will turn in on themselves and they will be miserable.

Once your at college, be sparing with your pell grant money and go straight to the student employment office. They always have something available.

If you want to talk about this in more detail. Just PM me anytime you need someone to listen.


Yes, I've known for a long time that he finds it funny to make me scream so loudly that I lose my voice. I've had chest pain after arguments before, and he just laughs. And since he's retired/unemployed, he sits at home all day and complains like the classic cranky old man that no one ever wants to be around. And he admits that too. The only difference is that I'm still legally a minor and he's still my dad. My mother never joins in on any torment he does to me; she's really just awkward and overbearing, but only because she's been married to a man who's called her a useless piece of crap for the past twenty years (with me as her only source of comfort). I never admit to hating anyone, but I hate him; for isolating me from the rest of my family, and for treating my mother the way he has. I could say I hate him for what he's done to me, but pushing me down all the time has only made me that much stronger, and he's helped show me everything I DON'T want in a significant other. And I hope that once I make something out of myself, he'll know that it was all an effort to get away from him. The only thing he ever did was give me what little money I've asked for to make it through my first 18 years like a half-way normal kid. I'm putting myself through college so he won't be the reason for that milestone either.

I'm going to stop talking about it now but I really feel better after opening up to everyone. It's been really hard to hold back all of this for such a long time to everyone here.
Sure, my IRL friends know about it, and a few close online friends knew, but I really feel relieved after letting it all go. And I'll definitely take any PM opportunities if I need them. Thanks for everything you guys. *hugs everyone tightly*

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Mon Oct 22, 2012 3:57 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Sorrow: The lead singer of Coheed and Cambria is really sick, and the concert from yesterday that was rescheduled to today is rescheduled for over another month now.

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Mon Oct 22, 2012 4:08 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Joy: Hungarian goulash. :D


Mon Oct 22, 2012 6:24 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Joy: Finally started raining again. It's been really dry lately.
Another Joy: The Giants are going to the World Series.

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Mon Oct 22, 2012 10:43 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Sorrow: The Giants are going to the World Series.

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Mon Oct 22, 2012 11:22 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
McFly wrote:
Joy: Finally started raining again. It's been really dry lately.
Another Joy: The Giants are going to the World Series.

you goin down homeslice

Joy: this weeks is shaping up to be relatively stress free for me. I have a decent chunk of reading to catch up on by friday but other than that I don't have a ton to do.

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Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:41 am
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Come at us, broski.

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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
McFly wrote:
Come at us, broski.

Like this?

joy: It's going to be a fun series to watch


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Tue Oct 23, 2012 4:13 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Sorrow: The person I was dating decided not to try to date me anymore.
Joy: I'm going to use this opportunity to put into practice all the breakup advice I give my friends!

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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Sleet wrote:
Sorrow: The person I was dating decided not to try to date me anymore.
Joy: I'm going to use this opportunity to put into practice all the breakup advice I give my friends!


What the crap, Sleet, you never told me you were dating anyone. I officially disown you as a friend. :P

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Tue Oct 23, 2012 7:12 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
We weren't a couple! And I thought I told you! D:

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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Sleet wrote:
We weren't a couple! And I thought I told you! D:


I think i heard you mention it before. I hope things work out in your dating life, Sleet! /hug

My advice ~ People loved me when i was casual. And i mean love it. Casually cool as i always say. If you don't think you're casually cool, try to be!

Sorrow of the Day: Our pet dog, Mishka, the hyper-active husky, ate my dad's home-made lemon loaf today... while i was watching her. I leave her alone for one minute and BAM ~ lemon loaf gone. :( Next time ~ %100 surveilence.

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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Sleet wrote:
Sorrow: The person I was dating decided not to try to date me anymore.
Joy: I'm going to use this opportunity to put into practice all the breakup advice I give my friends!

Aww, I'm really sorry to hear that! *holds you*

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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Seth wrote:
McFly wrote:
Come at us, broski.

Like this?

joy: It's going to be a fun series to watch

Nah, you need to bring the whole team.
Sleet wrote:
Sorrow: The person I was dating decided not to try to date me anymore.
Joy: I'm going to use this opportunity to put into practice all the breakup advice I give my friends!

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure you'll find a compatible partner.

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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
joy: Going to a League of Legends tournament tomorrow with friends. Hoping it'll go well, aaaand that they won;t run out of places before I get there.

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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Sorrow: I'm way too tired.
to give you an example of this, I was in my Java class writing code like a boss, who is tired, and I kept having to write "add" in front of about 10 lines. At some point during that process, I accidentally replaced the D's with S's. "add" turned into "****". The code didn't compile and I was all, "Dr. McKim, what's wrong with my code?" He looked at it and started laughing at me. I didn't know why he was and he told me too look for my spelling errors. He did air quotes when he said "spelling error."

Mod Edit: Please do not evade the profanity filter. If you feel the need to self-censor, it is appropriate to obliterate the word with asterisks. Using spoiler text does nothing but draw attention to the word and should not be used in this manner.

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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
So sitting in biology on Tuesday having a generally wonderful time as we do our lesson and then the teacher said the worst thing that could ever be said to a poor innocent unsuspecting student.
"Okay guys I want your coursework handed in by Thursday."
A shocked silence greets this sentence followed by an outburst of
"OHMYGODYOUHAVETOBE*******KIDDINGMEHOWDAREYOUDOTHISTOUSWETHOUGHTYOUWERECOOLYOUHAVERUINEDOURLIVES!"
Completely out of the blue with no warning he wants our coursework more or less completely drafted up by tommorow.
I was thinking "Ok not a huge deal he just wants to know how we are getting on and let us know what to do and correct mistakes. I can get a fair bit done Wednesday afternoon/evening."
And then I receive a text from my dad which destroys my soul and ruins my hopes.
'Don't forget we are eating out tonight!'
"OHHOLYCRAPIAMDOOMEDANDSIRWILLFLAYMYSKINDOWNTOTHEBAREBONEORJUSTSIMPLYMURDERME!"
If I do not survive tomorrow then I just want you all to know that I love each and every one of you and there will be cake at my funeral. A little unorthodox but cake cheers everyone up so have fun.

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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Sorrow: Got Steam so I can get Doom 3 BFG edition (as I never had Doom 3 for the computer before this) turns out my computer that is a bit over a year old can't run the game simply because my video card doesn't have enough dedicated video ram on it. Everything else is above the recommended settings for the game except that. So I just basically wasted 30 bucks on a game I can't play unless I want to buy an almost 200 dollar video card.

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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Sorrow:
I droped a cymbal in a parade that we just finished. DROPED A CYMBAL!!!

I don't know how I did that. I never have before, and if a spacific person who wasn't here tonight hears about it, I'll never hear the end of it.

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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
JeffCvt wrote:
Sorrow:
I droped a cymbal in a parade that we just finished. DROPED A CYMBAL!!!

I don't know how I did that. I never have before, and if a spacific person who wasn't here tonight hears about it, I'll never hear the end of it.

looks like you need to get some hush money and fast =P

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Wed Oct 24, 2012 7:50 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Joy: I get to help design my school's shirt.
Sorrow: My Internet connection kept dropping me out of matches, so now I got folks mad at me thinking I raged quit.

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Thu Oct 25, 2012 12:38 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Joy: Did way better on my Philosophy group-presentation than I thought and got a 3.9 on my first paper for one of my english class.

Sorrow:Got a bunch of fraternity obligations tonight that are going to eat up the whole night and I probably should be doing homeowrk.

Joy:At least it'll be pretty fun

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Thu Oct 25, 2012 12:49 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Bad news guys: Over the weekend, I'm going to possibly get hit with a category 4 hurricane, that means no power or interweb for a time if it does, so if I'm not around just remember, I am amazing and you guys should miss me :p

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Thu Oct 25, 2012 1:47 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Sorrow: lost first round in the League of Legends tournament. Not too surprised, but still annoying nonetheless.

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Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:16 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Major Sorrow and Concern: I started reading a book recently, by a man I quoted in the relevent thread, that was about things you can not quite believe until they are right there in black and white. I will never be able to understand how anyone in this world can be capable of unimaginable cruelty, even some of the things we read about in history barely compare to this kind of truly sadistic homocidial mania.


Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:45 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
MilesKingford wrote:
Major Sorrow and Concern: I started reading a book recently, by a man I quoted in the relevent thread, that was about things you can not quite believe until they are right there in black and white. I will never be able to understand how anyone in this world can be capable of unimaginable cruelty, even some of the things we read about in history barely compare to this kind of truly sadistic homocidial mania.



From the quote thread, I am guessing the works of Noam Chomsky. Just wait until you start reading Howard Zinn!

Take it from someone who has studied history and politics in depth, its a very depressing, very scary thing the truth is. But, it must be known.

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Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:56 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Perhaps we could discuss the subject sometime. It is not everyday I find someone who have studied those subjects in depth.


Thu Oct 25, 2012 5:27 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
It's quite possible it contributed to my manic depression.

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Thu Oct 25, 2012 5:47 pm
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
Sorrow: I'm lost, and I choose to stay lost. I hate myself, really hate it.


Sat Oct 27, 2012 9:52 am
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
kurowolfe wrote:
Sorrow: I'm lost, and I choose to stay lost. I hate myself, really hate it.


You will be found and you will be loved. And with a little luck, it will teach you to love. both yourself and others.

We are all here for you.

Joy: going to an early Halloween party tonight.

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Sat Oct 27, 2012 10:04 am
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Post Re: Joys And Sorrows
kurowolfe wrote:
Sorrow: I'm lost, and I choose to stay lost. I hate myself, really hate it.


Oh, no you don't, get back here! :P

Seriously though, don't give up like this, kuro. :( You're a lot of fun to talk to, and I don't want you beating yourself up like this. :(


Sat Oct 27, 2012 3:10 pm
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