Reply to topic  [ 63 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Jokes 
Author Message
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:12 pm
Posts: 354
Location: Chicago
Post Jokes
i'm not sure if someone has already made a thread like this but:
anyone have any jokes that they'd like to share, keeping the PG of course :)
I'll start with my favorite

why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
because if it had 4 it'd be a chicken sedan

_________________
Image
Image
Image

Cinder:S:5 P:6 E:3 C:5 I:8 A:7 L:2


Wed Jun 16, 2010 7:23 pm
Profile YIM
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 5:03 pm
Posts: 66
Location: The U.S. of A.
Post Re: Jokes
You're going to hurt me for this, but....

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second guy would have ducked.

*cringes* Don't hit! Here, here's a blond joke.

One day, a blond put an add in the newspaper offering to paint houses and such. The next day the really rich guy in the neighborhood decided to hire her to paint his porch white. When she got there with her painting supplies, she was in awe at his huge luxurious house and the beautiful brand-new cherry red Ferrari sitting in his driveway. The man went up to her, and offered her $200 to paint the entire porch. She didn't seem to be phased by this huge order, considering the porch of his house was huge and would take at least half a day of work for just one person. The man offers her a tip if she does a good job, and went back into his house. A mere two hours later, she comes back in to inform him that the job is done. She even told him that she had enough paint to give it two coats. Very impressed at how efficient she was, the man gave her a $50 tip. As she was going out the door, she turned around and said; "oh, and by the way. That's not a Porsche in your driveway, it's a Ferrari."

_________________
Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they're doing. Do things without always knowing how they'll turn out. - Randall Munroe

My Steam account.


Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:03 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:12 pm
Posts: 354
Location: Chicago
Post Re: Jokes
lol that got a chuckle, and i have one like your first one

two peanuts are walking down the street, one was assaulted

_________________
Image
Image
Image

Cinder:S:5 P:6 E:3 C:5 I:8 A:7 L:2


Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:12 pm
Profile YIM
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 08, 2010 1:16 am
Posts: 1008
Location: In my house. Reading housepets. And organic chemistry.
Post Re: Jokes
devils wrote:
lol that got a chuckle, and i have one like your first one

two peanuts are walking down the street, one was assaulted


a salted peanut?

_________________
ImageImage
ImageImage


Pet Friendly character bio Abby


Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:16 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:12 pm
Posts: 354
Location: Chicago
Post Re: Jokes
Typhon wrote:
a salted peanut?


yep

_________________
Image
Image
Image

Cinder:S:5 P:6 E:3 C:5 I:8 A:7 L:2


Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:22 pm
Profile YIM
Bringing Foxy Back
User avatar

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 1:32 am
Posts: 15224
Location: Nephelokokkygia
Post Re: Jokes
Why didn't the ternary notation of the member of the Cantor set go to the dance?

It didn't have anyone to go with!

_________________
Image
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Friendly banter? Feel free to click the "PM" button below!


Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:47 pm
Profile WWW
User avatar

Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 4:28 pm
Posts: 3920
Location: Equestria
Post Re: Jokes
one of my friends got obsessed with blonde jokes for a while, so i came up with one:

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head were watching TV together one day. The red head said "I wish I could be on TV, I'd be a famous doctor, finding the cure for cancer, and everyone would love me. But I'll never get there." the brunette said "I wish I could be on TV, I'd be an actress! But I'll never get there. " The blonde said "I know how to be on TV for anything!" The others looked at her and asked "How?!?" really excited. So the blonde got up, and sat on the TV.

_________________
My RP characters!!
Image
Image
I <3 Deadpool!


Wed Jun 16, 2010 9:15 pm
Profile YIM WWW
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 10:16 pm
Posts: 846
Location: My tower of hay
Post Re: Jokes
The reporter is doing a story on a pirate... it goes like this...


Reporter: So how did you lose your leg?

Pirate: took off by a cannon in battle

Reporter: what about your hand?

Pirate: It got cut off by a cutlass while I was boarding a ship.

Reporter: and your eye?

Pirate: A seagull pooped in it.

Reporter: doesn't seem like that could make you lose your eye.

Pirate: well in my defense it was my first day with my hook hand.

_________________
Image

what what? Jolly good time.


Wed Jun 16, 2010 10:00 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 08, 2010 1:16 am
Posts: 1008
Location: In my house. Reading housepets. And organic chemistry.
Post Re: Jokes
So a seal walks into a club.

_________________
ImageImage
ImageImage


Pet Friendly character bio Abby


Wed Jun 16, 2010 11:41 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 7:30 pm
Posts: 634
Location: New York
Post Re: Jokes
What have you got if you see a purple elephant chasing a man dressed like Abraham Lincoln down the street with a chainsaw?

... A lot bigger problems than a missing punchline, that's what.

_________________
RG; Seb & Dahlia


Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:21 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2010 2:14 am
Posts: 96
Location: Frankfurt / Germany
Post Re: Jokes
A German, an American and a Russian are sentenced to dead by shooting.
While they are waiting for the execution in their cell, the American says to the other two: "Listen, the marksmen are very naive! Exploit it!"

The next day, they are brought to the alley. First, they put the American against the wall.
THe commander shouts: "READY!"
The American shouts: "Tsunami!"
The Marksmen are running away, the American is jumping over the fence and is gone.
Next, the german is placed at the wall.
The commander shouts: "READY!"
The German shouts: "Earthquake!"
The Marksmen are running away, the German is jumping over the fence and is gone.
The russian thinks: "well, I can do that!"
The Russuan is placed at the wall.
The Commander shouts: "READY!"
The Russian shouts:"FIRE!"


Thu Jun 17, 2010 5:08 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 21, 2010 10:29 pm
Posts: 1446
Location: Here, Back and Better Than Ever!
Post Re: Jokes
Jakkal wrote:
A German, an American and a Russian are sentenced to dead by shooting.
While they are waiting for the execution in their cell, the American says to the other two: "Listen, the marksmen are very naive! Exploit it!"

The next day, they are brought to the alley. First, they put the American against the wall.
THe commander shouts: "READY!"
The American shouts: "Tsunami!"
The Marksmen are running away, the American is jumping over the fence and is gone.
Next, the german is placed at the wall.
The commander shouts: "READY!"
The German shouts: "Earthquake!"
The Marksmen are running away, the German is jumping over the fence and is gone.
The russian thinks: "well, I can do that!"
The Russuan is placed at the wall.
The Commander shouts: "READY!"
The Russian shouts:"FIRE!"

FAIL! XD

_________________
I ship Grape&Peanut and support King&Bailey
Image


Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:19 am
Profile WWW
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:46 pm
Posts: 283
Images: 2
Location: The Merry Land of Tea and Crumpets
Post Re: Jokes
Quote:
A German, an American and a Russian are sentenced to dead by shooting.


That's interesting. Over in England we have the exact same joke, only ours is "Englishman, Scotsman, Irishman", with the Irishman always doing the stupid thing.

Anyhow;

A new soldier arrives in the trenches in WW1. He goes up to his commanding officer and says "Sir, they didn't give me a weapon"
The Officer says "Of course not, we're running low on supplies. Just use this stick" and hands the soldier a stick.
The soldier says "What do I do with this?" and the Officer says "Just point it at the enemy and say "Bang bang"".
"What if I need to fight them hand to hand?" the soldier asks.
The officer ties a feather on the end of the stick, and says "If an enemy soldier is close to you, poke him with this and say "Stab stab""
That night, the soldier is on watch with his stick and feather, and he sees a single German walking slowly towards the trenches. He points his stick and yells "Bang bang", but the German carries on walking. Thinking the man might not have heard him, he yells again "BANG BANG!", but the German carries on walking. By this time, he's reached the trenches, so the soldier runs up to him and pokes him with his feather, yelling "Stab stab!", but the German ignores him and carries on walking.
Annoyed, the soldier asks "Why won't you die?"
The German turns to him and says "Tank tank"

_________________
Image
Image


Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:34 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2010 2:14 am
Posts: 96
Location: Frankfurt / Germany
Post !
this one is a bit darker...

WW1 Germans against France...

A Soldier in the German trenches got an idea and talk to his comrad, "hey, you know that every french is called Jacque, I will shout Jacque, and you shoot!"... And they started: "JACQUE!" "oui" PENG! "JACQUE!" "oui" PENG! "JACQUE!" "oui" PENG!

While on the other side a french Soldier got an idea and talk to his comrad: "hey, you know that every german is called 'ans, I will shout 'ans, and you shoot!" ... And they started: "'ANS!" nothing happens... "'ANS!" nothing happens... "Jacque!" "oui!" PENG!


Thu Jun 17, 2010 9:28 am
Profile
Juicy Wolf-Cat
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:59 am
Posts: 2350
Location: Richardson Valley
Post Re: Jokes
Guys, I'm just gonna pop in and remind all that we can't have any inappropriate jokes, okay? You KNOW what that entails, so nothing racist, sexual, blah blah blah, okay? Don't make it so I have to delete any other posts here.

_________________
Retired RP Character List (Sorry guys)
Richardson Valley: Venison and Ochen
Brookshire Meadows: Trinket
Oasis Towers: Jaxeh and Klack


Thu Jun 17, 2010 10:22 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:42 pm
Posts: 6021
Location: Somewhere in that direction.
Post Re: Jokes
I have some awesome jokes!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he had pre-arranged business on the other side, and did not want to be late.
----------

So a priest, a rabbi, a scientist and a monk walk into a bar.
They all order non-alcoholic drinks and share wonderful stories about their lives.
----------

A blond, a red-head and a brunette are stuck on an island. They find a magic lamp, and the genie inside grants them 3 wishes. The red-head wishes that she was home. The Brunette wishes that she was home. The blond wishes that she was home.
----------

What do you get when you cross a hippo, a giraffe, a chicken and a monkey?
A cross-breed of a hippo, a giraffe, a chicken and a monkey.


Thu Jun 17, 2010 10:35 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 5:03 pm
Posts: 66
Location: The U.S. of A.
Post Re: Jokes
sliceofdog wrote:
That's interesting. Over in England we have the exact same joke, only ours is "Englishman, Scotsman, Irishman", with the Irishman always doing the stupid thing.


I've heard that joke too, except it was the whole blond/burnette/red head thing. Interesting how some jokes have such similar formats and only vary by region....


Anyway, joke:

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

Next joke I put in here won't be a blond joke, I swear! =P

_________________
Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they're doing. Do things without always knowing how they'll turn out. - Randall Munroe

My Steam account.


Thu Jun 17, 2010 10:36 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 24, 2010 2:14 pm
Posts: 887
Location: A few (hundred) miles north of NYC.
Post Re: Jokes
Kinda boring one, but i don't have anything else...

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

Well, I don't know, do I look like a chicken to you?

or

Maybe you should ask the chicken, he's the one who crossed the road...

_________________
Kuja wrote:
"Why should the world exist without me? That wouldn't be fair. If I die, we all die!"

Image
RP Characters


Thu Jun 17, 2010 10:55 pm
Profile WWW
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2010 8:18 pm
Posts: 2
Location: In a little town called Wolfenrious
Post Re: Jokes
Jersey wrote:
sliceofdog wrote:
That's interesting. Over in England we have the exact same joke, only ours is "Englishman, Scotsman, Irishman", with the Irishman always doing the stupid thing.


I've heard that joke too, except it was the whole blond/burnette/red head thing. Interesting how some jokes have such similar formats and only vary by region....


Anyway, joke:

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

Next joke I put in here won't be a blond joke, I swear! =P


I've got a follow up blonde joke for that one.

A Brunette, a red head, and a blonde run out of the bank they just robbed.
As they leave, the police pull up.
They look around frantically to find a way out, when they see three potato sacks.
So they all get in and hide.
Well, the first police man walks up to the first bag and pokes it.
The Brunette went "Bark!", and the police man said Just a dog and walked away.
The second cop walks up to the second bag and pokes it getting a "meow" from the red head.
so he said just a cat and walked away.
The third police man walks up to the last and final bag with the blonde in it, and pokes the bag.
The blonde then yelled out "POTATOE!"

_________________
Image

"The Greatest threat to people is ignorance.
The greatest threat to wolves is ignorant people.
~Wolf trust motto


Thu Jun 17, 2010 11:11 pm
Profile WWW
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:12 pm
Posts: 354
Location: Chicago
Post Re: Jokes
i have a joke!

The Detroit Lions

_________________
Image
Image
Image

Cinder:S:5 P:6 E:3 C:5 I:8 A:7 L:2


Thu Jun 17, 2010 11:15 pm
Profile YIM
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 24, 2010 2:14 pm
Posts: 887
Location: A few (hundred) miles north of NYC.
Post Re: Jokes
devils wrote:
i have a joke!

The Detroit Lions


That was epic...

_________________
Kuja wrote:
"Why should the world exist without me? That wouldn't be fair. If I die, we all die!"

Image
RP Characters


Thu Jun 17, 2010 11:20 pm
Profile WWW
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:12 pm
Posts: 354
Location: Chicago
Post Re: Jokes
DarkHeartsAndSuch wrote:
devils wrote:
i have a joke!

The Detroit Lions


That was epic...


i was afraid no one would get it

_________________
Image
Image
Image

Cinder:S:5 P:6 E:3 C:5 I:8 A:7 L:2


Thu Jun 17, 2010 11:23 pm
Profile YIM
Bringing Foxy Back
User avatar

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 1:32 am
Posts: 15224
Location: Nephelokokkygia
Post Re: Jokes
Knock knock?

Who's there?

Interrupting joke that doesn't really work over the internet.

Interrupting joke tha-

MOO.

_________________
Image
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Friendly banter? Feel free to click the "PM" button below!


Thu Jun 17, 2010 11:51 pm
Profile WWW
User avatar

Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2009 1:26 pm
Posts: 5133
Images: 2
Location: Someplace with Internet access
Post Re: Jokes
Sleet wrote:
Knock knock?

Who's there?

Interrupting joke that doesn't really work over the internet.

Interrupting joke tha-

MOO.

Ok, I laughed at that. :lol:

What do you do if a bird poops in your car?
Don't ask her on the second date!







(I actually don't get that one)

_________________
DOH HO HO WELL THEN


Fri Jun 18, 2010 12:22 am
Profile WWW
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 24, 2010 2:14 pm
Posts: 887
Location: A few (hundred) miles north of NYC.
Post Re: Jokes
Sleet wrote:
Knock knock?

Who's there?

Interrupting joke that doesn't really work over the internet.

Interrupting joke tha-

MOO.


Thank you for inspiration...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting falcon.

Interrupting falcon-

PAWNCH!!! *person at door punches person in door*

_________________
Kuja wrote:
"Why should the world exist without me? That wouldn't be fair. If I die, we all die!"

Image
RP Characters


Fri Jun 18, 2010 12:46 am
Profile WWW
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 5:03 pm
Posts: 66
Location: The U.S. of A.
Post Re: Jokes
Oh, here's one I just remembered.

A man is laying carpet in this old lady's house. It takes him a while to finish, and when he's done he feels the urge to smoke. He reaches for his pack of cigarettes, but can't find them. He looks around, and notices in the middle of the room there's a lump under the carpet. He realizes he must have accidentally dropped the pack while he was working. He only had two or three cigs left in the pack, and he doesn't feel like moving a bunch of furniture for them, so he gets out a hammer from his tool box and flattens the lump. Two weeks later the old lady still can't find her pet bird.

_________________
Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they're doing. Do things without always knowing how they'll turn out. - Randall Munroe

My Steam account.


Fri Jun 18, 2010 1:21 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:30 pm
Posts: 2374
Location: Sweden/North Carolina
Post Re: Jokes
Aww, that's awful, poor bird. D:
The only good jokes I know are Brain Teasers, except they don't really work good in text format.

_________________
Flint: Str 4, Per 9, End 5, Cha 4, Int 5, Agi 10, Luc 2
(Lucid's Drawing of Flint!)
The original idea of Flint is created by Cobalt Kitty
(Aqua's drawing of Flint!)


Fri Jun 18, 2010 1:25 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 2:38 am
Posts: 3916
Location: Sweeeden :3
Post Re: Jokes
This one always gets to me


Knock knock

Come in. (I know, I have lame humor :3)

_________________
Jason Mraz wrote:
My goal is to show everyone that they, too, can do what they love to do.

Daggy wrote:
Look a shadowpriest, what a cutie.... POW


Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:31 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 08, 2010 1:16 am
Posts: 1008
Location: In my house. Reading housepets. And organic chemistry.
Post Re: Jokes
Who's there?

_________________
ImageImage
ImageImage


Pet Friendly character bio Abby


Fri Jun 18, 2010 3:31 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 2:38 am
Posts: 3916
Location: Sweeeden :3
Post Re: Jokes
My joke was referring to this one http://i43.tinypic.com/28jheeb.png :> first time I saw it, I laughed til' I cried, I was also very tired :3

_________________
Jason Mraz wrote:
My goal is to show everyone that they, too, can do what they love to do.

Daggy wrote:
Look a shadowpriest, what a cutie.... POW


Fri Jun 18, 2010 3:34 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:46 pm
Posts: 283
Images: 2
Location: The Merry Land of Tea and Crumpets
Post Re: Jokes
Quote:
i have a joke!

The Detroit Lions


I can beat that with a true story :p

During our recent election campaign, one candidate, David Cameron, was asked the best joke he had heard recently. His reply was "Nick Clegg", who was the third-party underdog candidate in the campaign.
After the election, Cameron became Prime Minister, and formed a coalition with Nick Clegg's party, who is now Deputy Prime Minister. In their first ever public address a reporter brought up Cameron's 'joke', and Clegg hadn't heard about it before then. Fun times were had :p

Anyhow;

A scotsman, a blonde and an alien walk into a bar. The barman turns to them and says "What is this, some kinda joke?"

A horse walks into a bar. The barman sees him and says "Why the long face?"

A duck walks into a bar. He goes up to the barman and says "Have you got any bread?". The Barman says "No, sorry. Would you like anything else?"
The duck thinks, and says "That depends; Have you got any bread?"
The barman, a little irritated, says "No, I just told you. We don't have bread. You can order a drink if you like"
The duck nods, and then says "Have you got any bread?"
The barman leans in and says "For the last time, we don't serve bread. If you ask me one more time I'll nail your beak to this bar"
The duck replies "Have you got any nails?"
The barman hesitates, and says "No"
"Well then," says the duck "Have you got any bread?"

_________________
Image
Image


Fri Jun 18, 2010 7:10 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 8:02 pm
Posts: 3640
Images: 5
Location: South Carolina
Post Re: Jokes
sliceofdog wrote:
Quote:
i have a joke!

The Detroit Lions


I can beat that with a true story :p

During our recent election campaign, one candidate, David Cameron, was asked the best joke he had heard recently. His reply was "Nick Clegg", who was the third-party underdog candidate in the campaign.
After the election, Cameron became Prime Minister, and formed a coalition with Nick Clegg's party, who is now Deputy Prime Minister. In their first ever public address a reporter brought up Cameron's 'joke', and Clegg hadn't heard about it before then. Fun times were had :p

Anyhow;

A scotsman, a blonde and an alien walk into a bar. The barman turns to them and says "What is this, some kinda joke?"

A horse walks into a bar. The barman sees him and says "Why the long face?"

A duck walks into a bar. He goes up to the barman and says "Have you got any bread?". The Barman says "No, sorry. Would you like anything else?"
The duck thinks, and says "That depends; Have you got any bread?"
The barman, a little irritated, says "No, I just told you. We don't have bread. You can order a drink if you like"
The duck nods, and then says "Have you got any bread?"
The barman leans in and says "For the last time, we don't serve bread. If you ask me one more time I'll nail your beak to this bar"
The duck replies "Have you got any nails?"
The barman hesitates, and says "No"
"Well then," says the duck "Have you got any bread?"


that eerily reminds me of
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q

_________________
Image
Image
Image
Fursona! :3

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.
-Robert Louis Stevenson


Fri Jun 18, 2010 10:05 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:46 pm
Posts: 283
Images: 2
Location: The Merry Land of Tea and Crumpets
Post Re: Jokes
Quote:


XD Yeah, I think that's the longer and a little more kid friendly version. And the... song version :p
I got it out of a joke book, so it wasn't one I came up with.

_________________
Image
Image


Fri Jun 18, 2010 10:42 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:05 pm
Posts: 202
Post Re: Jokes
Not so much a joke as a riddle, but still.

When is 100 less than 99?

_________________
This is not a signature.


Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:32 am
Profile WWW
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 2:38 am
Posts: 3916
Location: Sweeeden :3
Post Re: Jokes
Enty, I don't have an answer, well I do but I don't think it's the right one :3

It depends on, if it's 100 grams and 99 kilograms, 99 is bigger than 100 in terms of weight :3 EXAMPLE :>


Edit: Just a theory ^_x;

_________________
Jason Mraz wrote:
My goal is to show everyone that they, too, can do what they love to do.

Daggy wrote:
Look a shadowpriest, what a cutie.... POW


Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:43 am
Profile

Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:09 am
Posts: 12
Post Re: Jokes
Yeah, my first post is a joke

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried
chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right,
everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried
chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and
he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love
animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what
happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal
was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd
asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make
them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office
again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher
doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what
famous person we admire most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders".
Guess where I am now . .. .

_________________
Singin' the blues while the lady cats cry,
"Wild stray cat, you're a real gone guy.
I wish I could be as carefree and wild,
but I got cat class and I got cat style."


Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:55 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 24, 2009 1:43 pm
Posts: 840
Location: Lee's Summit, MO
Post I thought I already posted this, but...
Q: What do you call a famous redneck?
A: A shooting star

Didn't mean to insult anyone. It's just a joke. I thought Blue Collar would have been all over that.

_________________
My Disclosure
My Angsty Poetry
Image


Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:57 am
Profile YIM WWW
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:12 pm
Posts: 354
Location: Chicago
Post Re: Jokes
Enty wrote:
Not so much a joke as a riddle, but still.

When is 100 less than 99?


i have no idea

_________________
Image
Image
Image

Cinder:S:5 P:6 E:3 C:5 I:8 A:7 L:2


Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:17 pm
Profile YIM
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:46 pm
Posts: 283
Images: 2
Location: The Merry Land of Tea and Crumpets
Post Re: Jokes
Hey, if we're doing riddles as well now;

A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays for two nights, and leaves on Friday. How?

_________________
Image
Image


Fri Jun 18, 2010 3:00 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 7:30 pm
Posts: 634
Location: New York
Post Re: Jokes
Enty wrote:
Not so much a joke as a riddle, but still.

When is 100 less than 99?


When it's the timer on a microwave?

sliceofdog wrote:
Hey, if we're doing riddles as well now;

A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays for two nights, and leaves on Friday. How?


His Horse's name was Friday.

Edit: Guessed on both, and blacked out answers to prevent, um... Spoilers? xD

_________________
RG; Seb & Dahlia


Fri Jun 18, 2010 3:08 pm
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 63 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
  • Advertisement
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by ST Software for PTF.