Housepets!

Never demonstrate a trap to someone, as soon as the demonstration is over, the monster will appear and you won't have time to set the trap back up.

A detective or police officer will never be able to solve the case/save the day until he is either suspended or dismissed from the force. After his suspension/dismissal, his "superiors" will "solve" the case but get it completely wrong because they completely overlook evidence which would completely obvious to a two year old, so it is up to the suspended/dismissed detective/police officer to straighten things out and save the day, after which the "superiors" will realise their mistake and readmit the police officer/detective to their ranks - at least, until the next case comes along.

The hero will spare the villains life if the villain says "Yes, kill me! Give in to your rage!" or something like that.

No matter how big or powerful the explosion is, or how close you stand to it, you will only ever get thrown, not hurt, and you will survive with minor cuts and grazes. Unless you're the bad guy, in which case you either die, or if you have superpowers, come back horribly mutilated. Or if you're the good guy's mentor, in which case you will also die but not before having time to impart some last words of wisdom to your student who will then tearfully hug you while vowing to avenge you.

you will also die but not before having time to impart some last words of wisdom

Oh, how could I forget about that?!

1)If you're a plot-relevant character, you will always have time for a pre-death monologue, which you will improvise as you go (and it would make perfect sense), or just remember (probably by repeating it all the time for the last few years). Optionally it can foreshadow the future of the other plot-relevant character
2)Subway cars always have a huge petrol tank that explodes during the collision with another subway car or an end of the tunnel.
3)If you're a good main character you will always land an airplane perfectly, no matter how badly damaged it is.
3.1)Pilot being a good and a plot-important guy or gal is the only thing that will stop an airplane from falling vertically down to the ground the next second after engine(s) stop(s) working.

If you get enough of a run up you can jump over any sized gap.

Hlaoroo wrote:If you get enough of a run up you can jump over any sized gap.

Similarly, the lead detective, agent or police officer can easily keep up with an expert street climber, parkour artist or ninja assassin in a chase, only to end the chase with the "chasee" slipping, falling of a building or crushed by a car.

GeckoZY wrote: Similarly, the lead detective, agent or police officer can easily keep up with an expert street climber, parkour artist or ninja assassin in a chase, only to end the chase with the "chasee" slipping, falling of a building or crushed by a car.

Not to mention the fact that they can do it easily even if they're shot or wounded.

The only exception to the final monologue rule is when one of the characters, after giving a memorable departing phrase, sacrifices himself, or in some cases herself, to destroy a big deal of enemies at once, or hinder their advance, usually with a bomb or a similar device, and often in slow-motion and lots of yelling, too!

If anyone tries to cross an empty square or street it will instantaneously fill with traffic flying in all directions and yet somehow narrowly missing the crosser until they are pulled back onto the sidewalk by some other guy.

Tom and Jerry: never try to hunt any kind of animal that wears a bow tie and can carry objects several times its own weight, never ends well.

Hlaoroo wrote:If anyone tries to cross an empty square or street it will instantaneously fill with traffic flying in all directions and yet somehow narrowly missing the crosser until they are pulled back onto the sidewalk by some other guy.

Or, just like the Pink Panther popularized, they will get flattened, pull their thumbs into their mouths, and reinflate themselves like a ballon.

All explosives will produce a massive fireball when detonated.

You can shoot without aiming and while running madly and still hit the target dead-centre.

No matter how busy the road is there will always be room to maneuver your vehicle around and through all the other traffic during a chase or if you just happen to be in a hurry.

Cars will explode upon impact. (almost certain if it fell of a cliff)

CSI has huge databases of lipstick colors, their chemical makeup and etc. (Applies for paint, cleaning agents, shoes, various other cosmetics and fabrics.)

There are more explosions happening inside the USA than everywhere else combined.

Centrifuges can analyse DNA.
A 4 pixel image can be reconstructed and refined into a glossy 3000X3000 hi-res image.
It doesn't matter how the evidence is obtained, it can still be used in court.
Circumstancial evidence is sufficient to put someone away.
The hero will fall into every trap the bad guy sets and yet still be saved in the nick of time either by his sidekick or by a stroke of genius or luck on his own part.

Revealing evidence prematurely always leads the suspect to break down and admit his crime.

Fake mustaches and glasses will fool even the most observant and wily of detectives.

Pokemon world is the safest, most awesome place in existence, where the greatest crimes people commits are petty thievery and pokemon snatching!

If you put a lighter under a sprinkler, the whole building will be deluged instead of drenching just the room you're in with stinky stagnant water.

Any explosions (always looks like gas explosions) will cause anybody to just fly off with no trauma from the shockwave (only acute hearing loss) and no or minor shrapnel wound (unless necessary).

Most 4kids dubs have taught me

1. That any adversary can be overcome with the power of friendship (Ultimate Muscle makes a point of mentioning this every 5 minutes)

2. That you can poison someone with suction cups

3. That anyone with a raspy, high pitched voice can be pwned in battle

4. That Japanese Rice balls are actually donuts

5. That a sub sandwich can roll down a hill and remain perfectly intact

6. To believe in the heart of the cards. (Good advice for when you're £100 down on an online poker site)

The good cop/bad cop routine doesn't work if you only have one cop.

No matter how a person is killed their watch will always be stopped at the exact time of the murder.

(Yes, mods, I know this is a double post but it's bumping the thread so I think it's allowed.)

It is mandatory, once you have rung a doorbell, to turn and look down the street, making sure your back is to the door and to not turn around until either the door has been answered or you decide to ring again. Should you decide to ring again, it is OK to look at the door/lintel/doorframe for a few moments, but you MUST turn back to face the road again immediately after and wait until either the door is answered or you decide the person is not home, at which point you would leave the premesis immediately without looking back.

Also, anyone looking through a window to see who is at the door without being noticed will invariably pick a second storey window through which to look.

Hlaoroo wrote:It is mandatory, once you have rung a doorbell, to turn and look down the street, making sure your back is to the door and to not turn around until either the door has been answered or you decide to ring again. Should you decide to ring again, it is OK to look at the door/lintel/doorframe for a few moments, but you MUST turn back to face the road again immediately after and wait until either the door is answered or you decide the person is not home, at which point you would leave the premesis immediately without looking back.

When I was selling encyclopedias door to door, we were taught to do pretty much this. The theory, as I recall it, was that looking away from the door was less threatening and made it less likely that someone looking through the peephole or a window would think you were creepy, or a missionary, or a salesman.

Yeh, yeh, yeh, I know, but that was what we were told.

There are always perfectly placed ramps (or any other objects) for every chase scenes.

It is always necessary to pass (or crash) through at least one of these during a chase scene (for city chase scenes):
-Market (boxes, stalls and crates will always be destroyed)
-Outdoor Cafe
-Stairs
-Inside an institution (Library, Banks, Offices, etc.)
-A pedestrian holding groceries, a case of papers or coffee
and the car will still be running after all of that.

Everyone involved in the chase knows perfectly where the pursued or pursuing (depending on the situation) cars are heading.

A long truck will always block one of the paths, end the chase or let them escape.

People have a much better balance on top of a car moving through the streets, unless if plot necessary.

Nothing good ever happens after 2 A.M.

Stupid ideas come in five word phrases (Ex: "We should buy a bar." or, "I can make that jump.")

Never get into the cabinet of an entertainment system when someone bets you can't fit in it.

Whenever you ask for the location of a monster/killer/something else that's unpleasent you will always be able to accurately and correctly answer your question with the answer "He/She/It's right behind me, isn't he/she/it?

GeckoZY wrote: It is always necessary to pass (or crash) through at least one of these during a chase scene (for city chase scenes):
-Market (boxes, stalls and crates will always be destroyed)
-Outdoor Cafe
-Stairs
-Inside an institution (Library, Banks, Offices, etc.)
-A pedestrian holding groceries, a case of papers or coffee

You forgot "two guys carrying a large plate-glass window".

Roarin wrote:Never get into the cabinet of an entertainment system when someone bets you can't fit in it.

Never turn into a mouse to win a bet with a cat.

Never trust the guy your selling drugs or weapons too.

Always turn on lights when you hear something suspicious in dark room and you decide to step in and check what was that.

It's ok to swear on TV and movies, because it's just an act.

The rules to surviving ZOMBIELAND.

"Friday the 13th", "The Burning", "Madman" and "Sleepaway Camp".

I learned to never, ever go to a summer camp!

That following this list would be a very good idea if you're an evil overlord/bad guy/villain.

Oh man that list brings me way back. Such a classic.

GameCobra wrote:It's ok to swear on TV and movies, because it's just an act.

People in movies and TV are far, far more self-controlled and expressive than normal people. : P