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What movies and tv have taught me 
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Post What movies and tv have taught me
I don't know if this has ever been started but I've seen this kind of topic on IMDB plenty of times. The rules are quite simple, just post one or two things that Movies and TV have taught you about life. Was it a good life lesson, is it just something you want off your chest about the quality of tinsel town these days, maybe its something you tried in real life and it actually worked, the skies the limit.

I'm going to start with a couple that were inspired by Burt Wonderstone. Which wasn't actually that bad a movie.

1. The way to win the heart of an incredible woman is to repeatedly act like a power hungry, life hating, sexist twit in her presence because that sparks her pity, but only if she works for you

2. The average viewer is more interested in something dangerous and stupid than something that took a lot of time to perfect

3. Your childhood hero is living in a nursing home

4. It's possible for a dove to lead a normal life without some of its bones

5. Hysterical crying is really funny when it's pulled off the right way

6. You can drill a hole into your head and not die


Now I'll cover a broader range of films and television

1. It's really easy to get a girlfriend but only if you complain enough about your love life

2. It's possible to eat over 500 crunchie bars in a single night

3. Everyone has a theory on Aliens visiting earth but no one can prove they did it

4. If anime is to be believed then Japanese people cry a lot and believe the worst kind of failure is not telling someone you have a crush on them

5. You can be successful actor even when you (a) can't change your accent (b) never take on a variety of roles (c) don't know much about good writing (d) have messed up your internal organs (e) insult a lot of people (f) star in something terrible (g) do a bad job of hosting an awards show

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Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:19 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
From 'Moonrise Kingdom':
1. Never mess with the weird girl or her loved ones, you will be stabbed
2. Men are protective of their unofficial wives
3. You can easily sway an entire boyscout troop's beliefs
4. Children can make really cool masks in a very short amount of time, if supplies are provided
5. Thrown shoes hurt

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Sun Apr 07, 2013 11:39 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
1) Robin Hood was a humanoid, talking cartoon fox.
2) Action heroes are inmune to absolutely everything, except the charms of a seductress or minor, superficial wounds.
3) Hobbits tend to be taken to Isengard.
4) UFOs= Evil invaders.
5) Animals can talk, they just pretend to be stupid.
6) Peter Pan cutted off a person's hand and threw it to a crocodile, breaks into the houses of little children, covers them with pixie dust and encourages them to fly by jumping off the window.

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20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2014, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!


Last edited by Silly Zealot on Mon Apr 08, 2013 2:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Apr 08, 2013 1:24 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Very important: radioactive radiation is green.

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Mon Apr 08, 2013 12:34 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
1) Chuck Norris can kill you just by staring at your head.
2) Resistance against the Borg is futile.
3) Aliens have acid for blood.....
4) girls love cannons.
5)vampires are now somehow related to Justin bieber...
6)demons are the good guys?......ok spawn! :D

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Mon Apr 08, 2013 12:55 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Any problem will seem insoluble at the end of act 2, but be resolved by the end of act 3.

If you wear a red uniform, a goatee, or a soul patch, you're likely going to be dead by the end of act 2.

If you wear a goatee or a soul patch, and survive to act 3, you're going to be killed messily by the hero at the climax.

Nothing is too creepy if you're good looking, funny, or heartwarmingly clumsy.

This also applies if you have a funny accent, unless it's eastern European.

Computers are really hard, but accept programming in plain English, especially when asked to calculate the last digit of pi.

Any computer can connect to any other computer, and infect it with a virus, even if they were created by different species.

If you're on the wrong side, any injury will kill you instantly, unless you're supposed to be killed messily by the hero at the climax.

If you're on the right side, getting shot will hurt enough to complain about but won't stop you from completing your assigned role in the plot.

Unless that role is to die melodramatically, or you're wearing a goatee or soul patch.

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Mon Apr 08, 2013 3:17 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
1)There is always someone who knows how to control an airliner. This someone is NOT a part of the flight crew

2)You should always check
a)If there's a microphone nearby
b)If it's turned on or not
Be especially attentive to these details if you are in the middle of explaining an evil plan to someone else.

3)Not a single car will start when you are being chased, and its model or age make no difference.

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Mon Apr 08, 2013 3:36 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Don't explain your evil plan to anyone else. Unless they need to know, then only tell them as much as they need to know.

Never monologue.

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Mon Apr 08, 2013 3:52 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
In an horror movie never
1. Go towards the scary noise
2 . Stay / go in a creepy building
3. Leave the police station or any other boring place this kind of movie would spend too much time in
4. Say you'll be right back
5. Look older than 15
6. Stick around if you hear any ominous music whatsoever

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Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:15 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
1) You will not die in any movie, no matter how dangerous and horrid, as long as you are underage and stay on-screen the whole duration of the movie. The only exceptions to this rule are pet sementery and the remake of children of the corn.
2) GIR from invader Zim is friends with a squirrel (extremely important to remember, as it is of use in many aspects of your daily life).
3) Reading is for subtitles and hipsters.
4) Valve can't count to thr.. wait, that's for video gaming. I apologize.

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20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2014, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!


Last edited by Silly Zealot on Sat May 18, 2013 10:58 am, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Apr 08, 2013 9:44 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
From Disaster Films (world-wide destruction level apocalypse films)
1.) Stay away from historical, architectural and religious landmarks. Somehow they are always targets, sources of problems, alien motherships, secret switch or secret organizations.
1.a) Most notably, stay away from the Statue of Liberty, the Washington Monument/the Capitol, the Eiffel Tower, Mayan Temples, Egyptian Pyramids, the Stonehenge, the Vatican, the Redeemer and the Colosseum.
2.) Always trust the obscure scientist or conspiracy nut, somehow they are always right. Talks using pure jargon.
3.) When a tall structure is falling, running radially away from the falling structure is always the most effective method of being safe.
4.) When under pressure, humans can create a world saving mission in a matter of months. This mission is always accompanied by vehicles made with impossible materials created in impossible speed, and of course, weird weapons.
4.a) The crew of the mission is composed of the 'obscure scientist or conspiracy nut', the captain of the newly developed vehicle who somehow already knows the controls of the ship, a technology expert/technician who knows all the tricks but will usually die from the worst possible reason, the martyr(usually a random person who discovers the impending doom) and a sibling/lover/best friend of the martyr. (may overlap)
5.) During a disaster, at the final minutes before the impending doom, time slows down to about half to a tenth of the normal rate.

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Mon Apr 08, 2013 11:29 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Everybody speaks English.
Those who have a foreign accent are usually evil.

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Tue Apr 09, 2013 3:43 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Punchy wrote:
Everybody speaks English.
Those who have a foreign accent are usually evil.

Or are there solely to give a bit of international flavor to the adventure.

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20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2014, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!


Tue Apr 09, 2013 4:00 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
GeckoZY wrote:
1.a) Most notably, stay away from the Statue of Liberty,

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Tue Apr 09, 2013 4:51 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
GeckoZY wrote:
3.) When a tall structure is falling, running radially away from the falling structure is always the most effective method of being safe.


http://www.win-vector.com/blog/wp-conte ... eusRun.jpg

yep just keep running!

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Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:01 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Indiana Jones is the only one who can outrun a giant falling rock without jumping out of the way.

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20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2014, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!


Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:23 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
No, really: if you know it's falling in a particular direction, you can take off at a tangent... but otherwise your best chance is to try for minimum safe distance.

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Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:34 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
but it never explains why people try to out run a falling building, not going to the side of it......

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Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:37 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
I found out the bugs from Starship Troopers were the ones truly responsible for the destruction of Buenos Aires. You know: Economical crisis, increase of vandalism and graffittis, political confrontations, raise in unemployment and crime rates, primary school teachers on strikes, etc. Totally destroyed it. 2001 was a hard year here too.

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20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2014, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!


Tue Apr 09, 2013 12:55 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Silly Zealot wrote:
20th century fox? Given that we are currently in 2013, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface!

Fennecs can live 16 years.

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Tue Apr 09, 2013 12:59 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Argent wrote:
Silly Zealot wrote:
20th century fox? Given that we are currently in 2013, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface!

Fennecs can live 16 years.

Movies taught you that? Whoopie! :D Thanks, Mr. Argent ferret person! "virtual hug"

Time is nigh! I must go!
To Fox Network HQ!
I must run, can't be slow,
I think a visit is due!

I'll cross over mountain and sea,
and do all kinds of tiresome works,
All to finally see
and hug that stinky foooooox! :mrgreen:

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20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2014, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!


Tue Apr 09, 2013 1:27 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Animal planet has taught me too many things to list. Most of which I used to survive my first middle school.

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Tue Apr 09, 2013 2:52 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Argent wrote:
GeckoZY wrote:
1.a) Most notably, stay away from the Statue of Liberty,

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You forgot "Escape From New York".

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Tue Apr 09, 2013 6:50 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Kateleo007 wrote:
Animal planet has taught me too many things to list. Most of which I used to survive my first middle school.


yep......i understand more than you think.................

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Tue Apr 09, 2013 9:06 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
lasthunter wrote:
Kateleo007 wrote:
Animal planet has taught me too many things to list. Most of which I used to survive my first middle school.


yep......i understand more than you think.................

Age of Empires 2 taught me about the burgundys and their involvement in Jeanne d'Arc's excecution.
That putted me on good terms with my second year secondary school history teacher.

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20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2014, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!


Wed Apr 10, 2013 1:50 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Movies taught me that John Waters moustache is my spirit Animal.
Also Jake Gylenhall is dreamy but he always dies at the end (ok to be fair I cant name anything he's done besides Donnie Darko and Brokeback mountain but still)
Oh and Donnie Darko taught me that fursuiters are time travellers (or from an alternate universe, or something...)

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Wed Apr 10, 2013 1:58 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Cartoons tell us that:
1.) Any heavy machinery can be controlled solely by pulling 2 levers
2.) Stick shift (Manual for those not in America) only has 2 gears, forward and backward. And you don't need the clutch.
3.) Rockets never fly unless the villain is somehow attached. If the villain is not attached, the rocket is guaranteed to explode and land on said villain.
4.) All bombs have the word 'BOMB" written on them in big letters.
5.) Any and all traps WILL backfire on whoever set them. Unless that person is Bugs Bunny.
6.) All metal is solid enough to stop any flying object instantaneously but malleable enough to leave a perfect outline of a flying person's face.
7.) Gravity does not apply until you look down.
8.) If you're on/in a river and there is a waterfall ahead, you WILL go over it, no matter how hard you try to avoid it.
9.) All aeroplane cockpits are inconcievable complex, however the plane can be controlled solely using the yoke and started using a big red button marked "START". The other instruments are just supernumerary.
10.) No matter how severe the injury, no-one ever dies and there is never any blood.
11.) No matter how powerful the explosion or how devestating the effects on surrounding objects/scenery, any character caught in said explosion will survive with just a blackened face.
12.) Any and all electric shocks will cause the shocked person's skeleton to glow and flash in fluro colours visible through the persons silhouette.

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Sun Apr 14, 2013 5:48 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
"Manual for those not living in America."? Dear Mister bunny-dude from the book about the sunken ship: I live in the continent you speak of, just on it's southern hemisphere section, and here we never use the word "stick".
Good call on those cartoon lessons. I remember an episode from Kablam! (an old show from Nickelodeon.) in which the two main characters search to get into the real life world. At the end of the episode they find a door to our world, and pass through it, and as they turn into live-action characters, they get all excited and mount on some bicycles they find. Inmedeately after, they fall off the bicycles and hurt themselves on the ground, and share the following conversation:
The boy: Ouch!
The girl: What is this?
The boy: I think it's called pain!
The girl: I don't like this place!
The boy: Let's get out of here!
And they rush back to the door to the cartoon world.

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20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2014, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!


Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:04 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Ah, Silly, I've never seen that before. I must look it up. We were very much amused by that anecdote. My apologies if I offended about that stick thing though. When I say America I mean the USA. It's another thing that I've learned from the movies, that America=USA and that Americans say stick instead of manual. I too am from the Southern Hemisphere but on the other side of the world. I think most of what I "know" about America is probably wrong since it comes from the movies/tv shows.

All hotdogs bought in NYC are absolutely the most delicious thing anyone has ever tasted.

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Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:19 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Hlaoroo wrote:
All hotdogs bought in NYC are absolutely the most delicious thing anyone has ever tasted.

Hooo, boy, Asterix would disagree on that! (See Asterix and the falling sky, or search for the title, plus the word "hotdog", on google images).
Movies and television taught me the following things about the "USA" as you call it, though I'm not sure what they are using.
East coast: Eastern most part of the USA.
West coast: Western most part of the USA.
Founding fathers: USA version of the Twelve Apostles.
Texas: Cowboy land.
New Jersey: Everyone there is orange.

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20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2014, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!


Last edited by Silly Zealot on Mon May 06, 2013 1:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:37 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Hlaoroo wrote:
All hotdogs bought in NYC are absolutely the most delicious thing anyone has ever tasted.


I agree with Silly Zealot, one of my relatives found a mouse in their hotdog while they where in NY.

So, um, spongebob helped me remember photosynthesis and he probably taught a lot of kids how to tie their shoes.

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Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:39 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
I learned from that episode that ghosts use socks to cover their ghostly tails and such!

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20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2014, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!


Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:55 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
An infinite amount of numbers can be stored in a single speed dial key on the phone. And the phone knows instinctively which callee the caller wants to call as soon as the caller presses that single button.

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Sun Apr 14, 2013 12:12 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
If a character ever comes to be aware of something that is simply impossible or illogical, someone else (mad scientist, not mad scientist, The Doctor, etc...) will be able to make that character cease inquiry by telling them that they will explain later.
Note: Never gets explained ever.

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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
I learned many things, including that satires and sitcoms aren't always funny, and that if something goes wrong, the zaniest idea ever is the one that will work.

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Sun May 05, 2013 5:25 pm
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
They've taught me to never try to contact aliens.

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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Either there's no time to explain, or it's a long story, and will never be explained even when the characters are in tranquil place with plnty of time to spare.
Also, always check the back seat and double tap.

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20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2014, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!


Mon May 06, 2013 12:45 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Romance is never true romance, nor will it ever be successful unless one or both of the romantically involved parties' parents/godparents/fairy godparents disapproves of the relationship and tries to stop it.


Not that I like watching romantic movies at all. :oops:
Because I don't. :oops:
Really. :oops:

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Mon May 06, 2013 12:55 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
There is no risk of the monster getting you when you split up as long as you're looking for clues.
(Not applicable for blondes)

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Mon May 06, 2013 7:41 am
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Post Re: What movies and tv have taught me
Things will never work properly when you show them to someone else.

Actually that's real life too! :P

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Mon May 06, 2013 7:53 am
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