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All That's Ever Mattered (Updates Irregularly) 
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Post All That's Ever Mattered (Updates Irregularly)
Oh, for all good things that be! Why can't you knock when you enter? You almost gave me a stroke!
Well, since you (Yes, I am talking to you!) are here, I suppose you are expecting some entertaining story to go along with your popcorn and your cold and sugary soda.
Because that's what you came for isn't it? Something interesting and worth reading?

I admit I am no Molière when it comes to dramatic plays and appealing stories, but I'll do my best to sate your appetite for textual adventure to the best of my ability.
Because I love you.
A lot.

Let's see here..... UH huh.... Dalmatians 101? Nah, too academical..... What's this? GrassGreen and the seven giants? Too heavy...... Winnie the- Wait, what is a book with such an indicently named lead character doing here? Parents really ought to check what childrens are allowed to read nowadays!..... The Lizard of Oz? Well, I do admit it envelops the situation of modern society to a grand SCALE!.... Hehe... heh... *ahem*, I apologize....

Ah! Here we are! Yes... yes!, This is definitely the book I was looking for!

Now, this is a story about existence, about man, about the search for a place of belonging, about trascendence... and, of course, cheery tunes to entertain the little ones.
That been said, keep in mind that this story, I hope, has a bit to offer to ALL audiences, and for that, I would really encourage you to point out if I have mispronounced a word or two, formulated a sentence that doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the tale, or if you detect any "ulterior messages" that you feel uncomfortable with, and I will change my narration accordingly, though I can't guarantee that it will change for the best.

But enough with the disclaimer! Take a warm seat, turn off your cellphone, the emergency exits are on each side of the hall. Now, on with the show!

We begin our story, as you may expect, in the (relatively) sleepy suburban neighbourhood of Babylon Gardens, which is located somewhere within that seceding colony full of rebelious ingrate- *ehem* In "the United States."
At least, it would have been considered sleepy at the moment our story begins, were it not for the thunderous storm forming over the mid-day sky, and the yelling of three young wolf cubs, protesting at top of lung, as if trying to obtain what their desired or blow their very home away, to their ever so stoic mother, who held firm against the ache-inducing noise, as well as the gleamy and adorable puppy eyes of her progenie.

-"No!"- Said Lucretia, while placing a great deal of effort on preventing both her heart and ears from melting at the varied ways of begging coming from the cubs. -"You just CAN'T go out, that's final! There is a storm coming, and I don't want you straying off in front of a rain coated car! Besides, the rain will wash away most rabbit scents, anyway, so won't get to catch and bury that scaredy fuchsia bunny from across the street today."
-"But maaaah"- Said the one known as "Deathaxe." -"We are bored and we want to do something fun!"
-"You can do whatever you wnt as long as it is inside the house and outside King´s or grandma's room, they have already put up with you the entire week."- Her face sofetened slightly before going on. -"I know you will figure something out on your own. Tomorrow you will get to go outside, I'm sure, but today you have to stay here and use what you already have to in your rooms to play with."- She began to walk off towards the kitchen, where that perfect deer carcass waited for the right seasoning, before turning on her tracks and adding one last game condition. -"And I want at least TWO pieces of furniture INTACT this time! The Miltons are already thinking about replacing us with bobcats with their little project!"
-"This is our house."- Were the exclamations of the three fluffyteers. Lucretia walked off with hint of satisfaction on her face as she murmured: -"That should at least make the lamp be salvagable after they are done...."

-"So, What do we do now?"- Asked Darth Vader Sanchez, whose sole name makes me think of having a child of my own, if for nothing else than to name him in kind.
-"We play hide and sick!"- Exclaimed Deathaxe. -"It's when you hide things until you get sick of it, then play something else!"
-"I think it's called "Hide and Seek.""
-"Naw! Let's ask grandma! She is old so she must know if that thing is true."
-"Yeah,"- Said the last cub. -"And King too!, He knows a lot about human games, maybe we can go to their rooms and ask them!"
And so, with the ear-rupturing screams of "Grandmaaaa!" and "Kiiing!", our three heroes of fuzzy went on to entertain themselves.
Oh what fun games would they be able to come up with? What manner of mischiveousness would they enact? What disaster would they bring? Great questions, all!, But sadly, this story is not about the antics of these three pups.

This story is about why the sky was thundering that day......

In Heaven, war raged in all it's fury,

There were ancient times, when the rules and borders that define the cosmos where still incomplete, where the hellspawn and the denizens of Heaven fought over, and sometimes on, every fraction of existence, but this one was a war between Heaven and Hell, though perhaps it WAS a war between good and evil.

This war against the entities of Heaven was one waged by mortals....

There it stood: The Temple of The Origin, as it can be roughly translated. It is the place where all creations are discussed, considered, planned, designed, recorded, analized, studied, and comprehended. And it was under siege.

About merely half a block away from its exxageratedly big gate, a seemingly unending legion of men, women, and some other, not so clearly identified beings, were setting up fortifications, and preparing for the inminent assault that would surely come.
In front of all the siege weaponry, mobile artillery, golems, automatons, elite troopers, and rank and file foot soldiers, stood Kintaros "War-Bringer" Nelitan, mighty among mighties, scourge of nations.
Nearly unparalleled in the arts of unarmed combat, strategic evaluation, long-term military campaign planning, and catching a nice gal to spend the evening with.
He had light brown hair, deep dark eyes, well tanned skin and a portentous silver-gold armor, its chest emblazed with a roaring beast that appeared to be a mix of an European dragon and a north african lion.
He had good lucks, good sense of duty and responsibility, and good ways of convincing people to obey his commands, But good manners?

-<Oi! What are you doing here, tin can!?>

....A bit lacking, I'm afraid.

-<You are not supposed to be here!> Said the War-Bringer in a tongue that was both similar, yet clearly distinct to the mediterranean languages of Earth two and a half millenia ago. <You were supposed to keep on sending troops MY way and keep the rest of the war leaders informed.>

-<Those order have been changed, Kintaros. If you were a man of Faith, I would tell you to PRAY they do not change them further!> The figure in front of him responded.

"Tin can", as the War-Bringer had so eloquently pointed out was, indeed, covered in polished plate armor from head to toe (If there were any toes that could be seen under that footwear, that is.) with only his eyes and the yellowy white skin around it visible to the naked eye, The design was simple enough, and indeed, it did not seem to be or look bulky at all. The sole exception to the bare design of each joint plate was the helmet, which had slightly spiked edges and featured a golden, two-headed eagle covering the already fully covered face.
The only other things that seemed to stand out in him were his plain brown belt and purplish blue tabard.
It's possesed a gold thread lining, and the symbol of a sphere enclosed within a rectangle that, while lacking bars, was heavily reminiscient of cage, along with a trespassing sword pointing downwards in the symbol's backround.
The sphere in itself was actually representing a planet divided into twelve parts, with a humanoid figure standing on top of each.
The figures were similar in their standing, yet were clearly distinct to anyone who looked closer:
The fisrt one was well dressed and had a clean haircut. The second was clothed in rags and had messy hair. The third possesed femenine features. The fourth had arms instead of legs and vice-versa. The fifth had two heads, four arms, and four legs. The sixth had only two legs, two arms, and one head...... but they were all canine-like. The list of differences went on.
The armored man's only cohort was composed two individuals in special military suits, reminiscient of bio-hazard GI uniforms.

-<This place's prize is mine for the taking, not your! Get lost!>

-<There is no need for anger, I will just want something out of that place, you, our fellow men and officers, and our leaders can have the rest.>

-<I endured a lot of effort and pain to get here, and as soon as my soldiers open the doors the spoils will be in my hands, and I will not see any of them stolen by one such as you, bucket head!>

At this point Kintaros proceeded to punch the metal-clad individual right in the face, knocking him off his feet. His personal guard did not moved a muscle: They were meant to protect their leader from enemy forces, not one of his fellow generals.
As his would-be adversary began to get up again, Kintaros threw another punch towards him. This time, however, the blow was stopped as the man lying on the ground grabbed the War-Bringer's hand with an iron grip (If you would allow me the play on words.).

-<So much for civility.>- Uttered the armored figure, before turning Kintaros' arm around in a manner that sent the War-Bringer's entire body spinning into the air for a second, and yelling out a curse as he hitted the ground.
It was now Kintaros' turn to rise up before his enemy would send a blow down his way.
But no punch came.
Instead, the armored man took out a small canteen from his belt, then procedeed to grab a straw from withing a joint on his left wrist's armor.

Kintaros realized his enemy's intention in an instant. -<No!>- He exclaimed. -<That's not fair!>
The other figure placed the straw on the canteen's neck, and took a quick sip from it through one of his helmet's breathing holes.
-<You coward!, That's not fair! That's not fair!>- Kintaros quickly rose to his feet and placed his fists in front of his body, bracing for what was about to come.
The armored man stepped in front of the War-Bringer, then threw an upwards right hook.
-<THAT'S NOT FAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR!!!>- was the scream that could be heard as Kintaros was hitted almost fully in the chest and sent flying several feet into the air, and towards the army gathering around the Temple.

What- What is that? Oh!, Don't cry, friend, he survived! He landed dangerously close to a well-armed garrison of troops and their lead armored tank, it's true, but was mostly left just comically unconsious on the soft Heavenly soil.

-<Heh, Who would have kown that French language course would earn me ability to speak and gain the confidence of such a "magnifique" super-strenght potion brewer! Such are the surprises of life!>- The man placed the canteen back into his belt pounch, and banished the straw with a small flash of light by throwing it up into the air. -<Now, let's get this show on the road, Shall we?>-
He walked towards the Temple's gates, his two black uniformed guardsmen, as well as the sight of the soldiers in front of it following closely behind.

Just before reaching the door, the man lifted his right hand in the air, signalling his guards to stop and stay in place. He walked a few more feet, right in front of the magestic gates, and placed his hand on the back of his head, searching for a weapon, hidden under his tabard. Many soldiers, and even generals, within his faction still wore swords, spears, maces, knives, axes, or even bayonet rifles as a symbol of their status, as well as for use on close combat.

The armored man took out a lollipop.
A red and white, flat, one and a half meter (A bit over 5 feet, for those who don't know.) long lollipop.

The troops were either appalled, embarrased, or outright laughing at the unexpected sight of their new commanding officer's "weapon." His two pesonal guardsmen didn't move, merely experiencing a combination of slight surprise and resignation: Their leader had pulled off such antics before.

The armored man proceeded to point towards the door and, with a goofy and slightly squeaky voice, began to (God help us all.) sing a shamelessly corrupted English tune:
"We represent the lollipop guild,
The lollipop guild,
The lolipop guild.
And in the name of
The lollipop guiiiiiiiiiiiild,
We will destroy this door that you have built."
With both hands firmly placed into the lollipop's handle, the crazy metal man immedeately hitted the gates with a full swing of his sugary polearm, reducing both it an the gates to pieces.

The troops where completely bewildered at the sight and the ridicule of it all.You should have seen the expressions on their faces.
Yes!, They were pretty much like the one you have now!

-<An elaborate and ridiculous way of breaking into an equally elaborate and ridiculous place!>- Yelled the man, as if to justify the whole theatric, not that he cared much for his troops' opinions, since they clearly could not argue with the results.
-<Onward, you lot!>- Screamed the man again, as he suddenly extended his arms and, with a small cloud of dust, a sword and shield appeared on his arms. -<Let's do this thing!>


Part one was longer than I originally expected, so I'm splitting it into two. Do not worry, folks!, The fluffy animal creatures will return in the next one!
In case anyone is wondering where the I love you completely ruined lyrics came from, you should definitely re-watch The Wizard of Oz.
Thanks a bunch for reading, people, I hope you like it so far, even if it sucks harder than a vacuum cleaner!

20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2018, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!

Last edited by Silly Zealot on Mon Jul 15, 2013 10:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mon Jul 15, 2013 5:39 am
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Post Re: All That's Ever Mattered (Updates Irregularly)
That was weird. YOU are weird, you know that? XD

Nah, just kidding. That was kinda funny, it's what I could expect of the cubs on a rainy day. But that's not what really matters. Now I want to know more of that thundering sky. :lol:


Mon Jul 15, 2013 4:18 pm
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Post Re: All That's Ever Mattered (Updates Irregularly)
Hmm, those cubs cannot listen. You love putting the narrator right in there,eh? :roll:

A few mistakes here and there , actually... may want to reread...

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Mon Jul 15, 2013 7:13 pm
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Post Re: All That's Ever Mattered (Updates Irregularly)
Has potential.
Will keep an eye on it.

"I will be the Messiah! Hahahahaha!"

Mon Jul 15, 2013 7:46 pm
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Post Re: All That's Ever Mattered (Updates Irregularly)
Updated the first post a bit further, the true setting and some of the characters are revealed.

20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2018, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!

Last edited by Silly Zealot on Thu Jul 18, 2013 2:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

Mon Jul 15, 2013 10:21 pm
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Post Re: All That's Ever Mattered (Updates Irregularly)

The scream echoed through the massive hallway, roaring with the intensity of a thousand thunders, going so far as to incur permanent ear damage on some of the mortal invaders.
At least as permanent as anything that did not involve magical healing rituals the mortal army "medics" used, in any case.

-"I'm here!"- Uttered one of the heads of the massive hellhound.

-"With me! We are evacuating the Temple! We MUST protect the Coffer! I shall take point, you are to cover the rear! MOVE!"- Yelled the exploding voice of Aegis.

As his name implied, he was the shield. The protector. The living wall of Heaven. Clad in a beautifully crafted and adorned golden plate armor, mostly on his chest, arms and legs, as his powerful eagle-like beak, and the sharp talons on his three-toed, feathered, yet mostly man-like feet did not require any more protection than a small crown-like helmet and a pair of sandals that, while preciously crafted and thin-looking, had a thickness greater than titanium a thousand times over.

-"I will keep them away, Sir!"- Cerberus said as the Coffer levitated between her, on the rear, and followed a few steps away, if we can call the half a block long distance that these preternatural behemoths made when walking a "step", from Aegis, at front.

What was "the Coffer"? I was about to explain that before you so rudely interrupted. What happened to the well behave children of my age?
Oh, well, let's continue the story for now. I'll dispense discipline at a later time.

So there, between the Shield and the Hellhound, it stood: The Coffer of Genesis.
And artifact capable of enabling anyone who had the tremendous mental capacity required to use it the power of creating entire planes of existence out of sheer imagination. It was as powerful, as dangerous, as precious, as valuable, and as beautiful as it was impossible, due to its weight and massiveness, for a single mortal to carry it.
On the wrong hands, namely, the invaders, it would easily be able to create a dimension composed of absolutely nothing but war-machines and loyal, blood-thirsty beasts and troops.

-"This way! This way to the rear gate! Hopefully, that begrudged horde has not surrounded the Temple fully."- Aegis paced ever forward.

The pair of Heavenly guardians could hardly look any more mismatched.
A dark-furred, spike-collared, piercing-filled, three-headed hound fighting alongside a being with wings (Which were protected on the exterior by wide, feather-patterned golden armor plates.) that, aside from the fully feathered body, the eagle-looking head, and the talons on his six toes and ten fingers, was one of the closest entities within the spirit realm to truly resemble one of the Angel figures, which are so popular in our own world.
Cerberus had met the Heavenly Guardian shortly after her promotion from Hell, and had become a close and fond partner of him.
Together, they formed the great wall against any and all ill-intended denizens of the cosmos.
Beings of pure strength, resolve, valor, and care for the good of all beings.

<And both of you are STILL not wearing any pants. How delightful is that?!> Came the sarcastic voice.

The two guardians turned around to see an army nigh-innumerable, yet Lilliputian to their titanic bodies.
In front of the horde stood a tall (In comparison with most of the others.) man, fully clad in silvery armor, with a golden two-headed eagle on his helmet's front and a purplish-blue tabard with a megaphone on his right hand. Beside him stood his two ever-present black escorts, along with a gray-cloaked squire, who had kindly and obediently provided the megaphone.

<How did you managed to defeat the Gate Guard so fast?> Asked Cerberus, mimicking the intruder's tongue.
-"KEEP MOVING, DO NOT DISTRACT YOURSELF!"- Was the sound of Aegis voice, still hurting the ears of the minuscule army, even despite using all the ear protection they had available. They swiftly pulled themselves together, however, for they knew, just like the two guardians knew, what the armored man was about to say.

The man rose the megaphone again: <FIRE! HIT THE BIRD!>

The war-machines, the assault troopers, the golems, the wizards, and the rest of the menagerie of soldiers, all opened fire as one towards the now battle readied Aegis.
The guns, scepters, energy focuses, and.... bare hands launched barrage after barrage of multi-shaped, multi-colored projectiles, causing a great deal of dents on the Shield's armor and severe boo-hoos on his feathered skin.
That is not to say neither him nor Cerberus fought back, no, for they cleaved, bashed, crushed, and mostly stepped on many a platoon before Aegis suddenly collapsed in a completely unexpected manner, like a man who has received a heavy club to the head. Many foes were flattened under his fallen body, and many more were sent flying, or at least knocked off their feet by the trembling ground as the guardian impacted on the ground.

-"AEGIS!"- Roared Cerberus, all three heads at once.
<All forces retreat! All forces, go back to the gate now!.
The man then looked at his two bodyguards and loudly ordered <You too.>

The two soldiers obeyed, just as the man yelled through the megaphone again.
<I am the leader of this assault! I shall be the one to fight you!> He said, trying to get as close to Cerberus as his relatively small body could carry him.

Cerberus stared at the man as she stomped the last garrison of troops that had not managed to turn around fast enough.
<Ow, my back>; <My spleen!>; <The pain! It hurts!>; <My arm is not meant to bend that way!> Came the screams from one of Cerberus' paws.

Shaking the surviving soldiers off of it, and staring with infernal rage at the man like an elephant that was about to crush an ant (Assuming the elephant could even notice such a tiny creature.), the Hellhound spoke:
<You and your filth hurt my friend! And stop using that megaphone!, I have>

<Yeah, it's not like we can kill him off with such a small amount of cosmic projectiles and Heavenly ore ammunition.>
<Heavenly ore? How were y-?> Cerberus' middle head exclaimed before being interrupted.
<As is most of our high-ranking officers' armors> The man pointed at himself, or rather, to all the metal that was covering him. <They aren't that hard or expensive to acquire after a few millennia since their original owners' deaths! You see?, Spirits, demons, and "deities" gift their champions, as well great and noble heroes, with all kinds of goodies. The gifts outlast the death of those heroes, as do their children, but what giving of those gifts originally meant is easily forgotten, sometimes even before the hero passes away! And we all know how lousy the spirit bureaucracy is when it comes to sending the repo-men!> Added the man in a smug pose.

The remark reminded her for a moment of certain Fate Watch that she still had to return to Heaven.
<That may be so, but even all those weapons will not get you to conquer Heaven.> Said Cerberus through her left head.
<Can't blame us for trying.> The man simply shrugged comically.
The three heads of Cerberus completely focused into the man's dull, brown eyes for an instant, ignoring the complaints of broken bones and medical insurance from those soldiers that she and her fellow warden had pummeled but not killed during the fight.
<I know those eyes!> Her left head spoke again. <I know the identities of all living beings, and I now know who you are I know your name, and you can believe that I know what you came for, and let me tell you: It will never be yours!> She said the final sentence as grimly as matter-of-factly.
<You mean that I came all this way and went through so much for nothing? Well, ain't that a mono-cephalic female member of your species!> The man crossed his arms in pretended resignation. Just as Cerberus was about to retort, he spoke again. <But with all due respect, I just broke your front door to pieces, this is not a negotiation.>
<Of course not.> Was all Cerberus' middle head said before lifting one of her paws to crush the little interloper.

It didn't reach the ground.

As if held by an even bigger, invisible hand, the man's arm stretched forth to halt the incoming, enormous padded foot, leaving it lifting in the air without even touching it.

<You made quite a faux pas there!> The armored being said in a comedic manner, before continuing to speak, this time adopting a more serious tone. <I'm not afraid of you. A human bested you before, it can be done again.>
<Heracles was a demigod,> Came the right head's voice. <How can you do this? You are a mere mortal!>
<Yup!> Was the vulgar answer. <You are right on both things, but I have my means. For now, let's just say I'm overpowered.>
<This is ridiculous!> Said Cerberus (though this book doesn't say which head did it.) as she placed her paw back into the ground.
<And it's not over yet!> Yelled the man in excitement.

As soon as he finished saying that, he placed his left thumb up to were his helmet covered his mouth.
It was easy to see that the thumb was not piercing to the armor, but it did seem to bend a bit against it, as if the helmet was made of linen or plastic.
The man then proceeded to blow, as if inflating a balloon, and sure enough, as if he was some kind of goofy cartoon character, his body began to grow to the point that, in just a few seconds, he managed to reach the same height of his canine contender.

Each of Cerberus' three heads showed a combination of both amazement and tiredness.
<Neat trick.> Said her right head again. <I do like messing with someone my own size.>
<Insert witty retort here!> Her opponent yelled before rushing towards her, shield and sword ready to bash and chop, respectively.

It was truly a Battle Of The Ages! There was much punching, parrying, dodging, eye-poking, hair-pulling, wrist-wrenching, leg-twisting, and I think a thumb war, at some point. But I'll skip that and simply say that the battle ended when the crazy tin can man bashed Cerberus' heads with his shield.

<Bad dog! Bad dog! And, last but not least, bad dog!> Were the screams that could be heard within the Temple's sanctum as the mental metal man hit each head.
Finally, he stopped, and there, with both opponents filled with cuts, black eyes and Indian burns, stood the man victorious over the titanic hellhound, who was still trying to get up and get back to kicking that shinny metal butt in front of her.

*cough* <Grrr!> Her three heads growled in unison. <You WILL NEVER get the Coffer!>
<The Coffer of Genesis?> The man leaned back in amusement. <Mademoiselle.... err... Mademoiselles? Nevermind, listen!, Why would we ever want to create new beings and worlds? As someone said once, existence already has SO much content!>
*cough* <Then what do you seek?> Asked Cerberus' right head.
The man leaned closer to the hellhound's faces, and ominously said, in a poor villain impression <Souls.> and his eyes frowned with malignant intent as he added <We want the obedience and servitude of all souls.>
<You are REALLY deluded if you think that is possibl-!>

Cerberus' middle head interrupted herself as she suddenly noticed something unusual was happening around the two fighters.
<Why is the roof rising u- The roof is not rising up at all, is it?>
<Nope, it's still in the same place as always.>
<We are shrinking, aren't we?>

The pair was indeed shrinking, slowly but surely, until the man reverted back to his original size, and Cerberus was reduced the size of a common dog, barely over three feet in height.

She stared with all three heads for a moment, before the one on the left finally asked <How? Why?>
<I have my means and my contacts.> The armored man smugly and theatrically rubbed his hand against his chest. <And I already told you why. We want the obedience and servitude of all!>

Before Cerberus managed to reply, a dark green leash, matching the color of her collar, appeared from thin air, attached to her collar and held firmly by the man's hand.

<Besides, I've come to know that one headed pets are already all too common.> While most of his face was covered, the malice in his eyes was crystal clear as he leaned again so that Cerberus hear his next words just as clearly.

<I want to stand out.>

Well, friend, the next part in our story involves some plot exposition, as well as to explaining how these fellows managed to break into Heaven and acquired super powers. Alas, I am tired, so I will continue narrating this rubbish to you after a pause, if you would allow me......

20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2018, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!

Thu Jul 18, 2013 2:43 am
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Post Re: All That's Ever Mattered (Updates Irregularly)
I am afraid I disagree with a lot of the rationale of this, and do think you take many liberties in this story, but I shall continue reading, of course...

It is hit and not hitted...

Well, that was quite the battle I suppose. :roll:

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Thu Jul 18, 2013 10:06 pm
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Post Re: All That's Ever Mattered (Updates Irregularly)
Hello there! Jeremiah Hambonne here!
Sport hobbyist, meat connoisseur, literature scholar and story-teller extraordinaire, here to answer any and all inquires, uncertainties, or otherwise preoccupying issues you may have over this....... rather poor story.

Also, yes, the author of this... utterly horrid story sure has taken a lot of liberties, but that's mostly because Mr. Griffin leaves the Housepets! "spirit world" almost completely untouched.
I'm still quite unsure myself about whether Cerberus is three beings with one body, or one being with three heads, so unless Rick decides to clarify on this, the strange and unexpected character twists will most likely continue, I'm afraid.

Thank you most kindly for the corrections!, I do tend to slip an extra syllable or two after such long narrations.
Thank you and don't hesitate to say everything you don't like or find odd about this tale.

20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2018, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!

Tue Jul 23, 2013 5:23 am
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Post Re: All That's Ever Mattered (Updates Irregularly)
I truly apologize for the long break, my metabolism is not what it used to be, you understand.

So! Where were we?



The fire raged on the horizon, closing in as the buildings on the edge of town were engulfed by it, followed by screams, cries and all kinds of yelling.

<Mother, what's happening?!>- The young kid could not believe his eyes.

<Son, get back on the house! Wait for me inside!>

<What? No!>

<Listen to me and wait inside!- Said the mother, grabbing the child by the arm.

<But the Bucke->- The kid tried to protest.

<Now! Get inside!>- The woman forced her child back into the modest brick house.

He waited for no longer than five minutes in front of the door, yet each second felt like hours.

Well, okay, no, but he DID felt really stressed over he impending danger and his mother's absence all throughout that short waiting.

Finally, his mother returned, with a bulky man, covered in ash and sweat from the smoke and heat coming from the end of the street.

<You remember Iuta, right?>- The woman leaned to face her son.- <He is gathering the rest of the neighbourgh to go to the mountains.>

<But that's right at the end of the valley!>- The child protested, concerned over how long it would take them to find a place to hide from the invaders.

<Yes, but we have the merchant carriages the fruit vendor has,remember?>- The bulky fellow cut the child's protests short.- <An' a friend o' mine even has one of those automobiles 'at we've seen 'round the place!>

We need to go, I already grabbed some food, we'll just get some clothes for you and we leave!- It would seem unwise, and discriminative, that a woman would worry about getting clothes while her home is on the verge of being demolished, but this one woman wasted no time as she talked, dashing onto her son's room, who followed along with the bulky Iuta.
Once the clothes, and the child's two beloved plushy toys, had been grabbed, the three ran without delay towards the back of the house, where the two carriages and the car, filled to the brim with people and essentials, were eager to leave. By that time, shots could be heard from a few blocks away.
Iuta grabbed the child and his clothing and placed them on top of the nearest carriage, then went to sit next to the driver, while grabbing a shotgun that was resting there, on the carriage's apropiately named shotgun seat.

The boy's mother did not get on the carriage.

<Mother, get on!>- The boy cried.

<I am sorry, son,>- Said the woman while hugging her child one last time. <The Guard is setting itself up on the streets to buy some time. Hopefully, a garrison from Royal Army will come soon.>

No!- The child scramed in anger and desperation.

<Don't worry, I will take care, but I need to help, I am a field medic!>- The mother try to calm her son down.

<But they killed father!>

<That's why I have to stay and help! I love you, son!>- The mother kissed her child and ran back towards the buildings.
<Momma!>- The boy yelled, trying to follow his mother, , but the other passengers were quick to grab him before he could leap off the carriage.
He didn't pay heed to their attemps to soothe him. As the carriage began to advance, he kept struggling and yelling harder and louder.


It was considered very crude to refer to one's parents with such informality, but the kid could not care less, for he feared this would be the last time he would get to call out to his mother.

<Momma! Momma!>


"Mamma mia! I'll tell you one last time.
My, my!
Would you cease to resist, you?!

Mamma Mia! One thing you should know,
My, my!
I won't ever let you go!

"Ugh, I hate that song!"- Said Cerberus' left head, all three faces wincing almost in perfect unison.

<Keep struggling and I'll give the whole movie with director's cut and behind the scenes!>- Said the armored man, as he pulled from the hellhound's leash.

What's that? Why are you so confused about what's happ-? Alright, let's make a slight racconto for a moment, so that you don't have to read through all this by yourself all over again lazy no-gooder:
Heaven was being assaulted by an inmense assortment of very different mortals, who were lead by a very embittered commander.
They were laying a siege in front of a great temple, inside of which Cerberus and Aegis, her fellow, bird-like celestial guardian, were protecting a massive artifact that was basically a "build your own universe quick and easy" kit.
The mortals' commander was deciding how to break through the gate, until this wacky armored fellow, supposedly sent by superior officers, forcefully relieved the commander from his post and proceeded to break the temple's gates himself in a rather mind-boggling manner. Then, at the cost of several of the interlopers being squashed, the artifact was captured, Aegis was knocked out cold, and Cerberus was turned to the size of your average pet dog (if pet dogs had three heads and a six-pack, that is), by the crazy tin can man, who revealed the invaders' true goal was not to use the artifact to create new universes as they saw fit, but to conquer all the already existing ones and, most importantly, their denizens, which takes us to where we are currently looking at.

<Now, I need to hear what those sawbones have to report, you and your comrade did quite a number on our troops, you know?>- The man looked at Cerberus with a glare of annoyance as he said this.

<Right, we decided to fulfill our duty and fight back, how awful of us!>- The hellhound's middle head uttered, no longer bashing her fists against her preserves container of a captor, instead crossing her arms in indignation.

<Terrible indeed! But, then again, that is how your kind tends to behave.>- The man answered dismissively.

<Oh, and you are better?>- Cerberus was considering trying to switch her punching tactic to one with a little more kick..... and fangs.

I'd really like to answer that with more than just "yes", but I really need to talk to the doctor over there. Be a good girl/s and I might give you a doggie treat or three!
The hellhound answered this with a kick right under the fellow's belt. He glared at her in a rather nasty manner as the field medic aproached.

The medic did not seem to be much older than his late twenties, and indeed seemed to be a newly appointed addition to the teams of medics, surgeons, healers, tonic salesmen and what-have-yous that were spread throughout the encampments. He wore no more than a greenish uniform, covered by the invaders' purple tabard, the cleanliness of which pointed at him not having participated directly on assisting the wounded from that day.

<Eeerhm, what's up, doc?>- The armored man greeted the new arrival.- <How bad are our boys' boo-hoos?>

<Greetings and salutations to you, sir>- The medic had to be more formal while addressing his supperiors.- <Is not so bad as it may seem, actually. Three hundred injured, but only about four dozens have more than a few broken bones. Luckily, those mad doctors the headquarters sent are using their electroshock therapy on the gravest cases (we don't let them anywhere near the mild ones.), it's effective, even though it stings a little. Sergeant Peeps recovered the mobility on his legs already!>

<Excellent! Please, go on!>

<Over all, things have gone far better than expected, the doctors say the wounded should make full recovery in a few weeks, though none of us thinks they'll ever trust electronic devices again. On that note, I apologize for the screams all throughout lunch time, sir.>- The medic made an apologetic posture.

<Think nothing of it!, I wasn't hungry anyway. If there is nothing else, you are dismissed.>

<Actually, there is one last thing, sir: Your wizard friend has come back from informing the Anathema of your victory, and would like to speak to you on how to proceed on the next step.>

<Ah, very well, then!, That will be all, doc, you can go now.>- The man gave a short bow.

<It is a pleasure, sir.>- He then looked at Cerberus with a mix of courtesy, amusement, and aprehension.- <Madam.>- He said before walking away. Both man and hellhound watched the medic walk away for a moment before the former turned to the latter, happiness showing in his eyes.

<You hear that, Cerberus? Peeps is gonna be okay!>- He said in sardonic excitement.

<Stop the joking already!>- The hellhound's left head growled.- <Who are these "Anathema", anyway?

<He! You know how mortals aren't the only ones who want to rule over Heaven and creation, right? The spiritual plane, being far larger than the mortal one, has an inmense number AND variety of denizens. Through eons of planification, some of them have discritely banded together and formed a faction of their own, and when they recently came into contact with a multi-dimensional empire of disgruntled, higly versatile and potentially insane mortals, what better plan than to exploit their hatred and ambition, grant them unnatural powers and use them as shock troops against their enemies? Some one ended up using the term "anathema" to refer to this faction of evil spirits, and the name caught on among us.>

<You are serving the dark denizens?!>- All three heads yelled, angrier than they were surprised.

Wow, there! We aren't exactly their sevants! We know they are using, and they know we want to take advantage of them, but we have chosen to turn our joined efforts against you, and sort out the matter of who works for who later.

<And how are you even going to win against them, let alone us, without their powers backing you up?>- Cerberus' right head was in her right mind to ask that.

<"Divide and conquer", goes the saying, "wits before brawn", and all that. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, that medic said my wizard buddy, Pocus, came back and I'd lik to speak with him.>

<Let me guess, his first name is Hocus.>- Cerberus replied, her middle head rolling her eyes.

<No, actually, Pocu IS his first name. Nice guy, and really funny, you'll like him once you get to know him.>

<Maybe, I hear wizards have really thin bones.>

<You can check for yourself when we see him, and we can chat a bit more on the way, but first....> - The man waved the hand he had free of holding the leash and in a flash of smoke produced a pair of casual jeans.- <Please have some decorum and put these on!>

20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2018, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!

Last edited by Silly Zealot on Thu Jan 30, 2014 5:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Tue Jan 28, 2014 10:05 pm
Puppy Wrangler
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Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Posts: 6362
Location: Florida
Post Re: All That's Ever Mattered (Updates Irregularly)
I see you are back! Awesome! Nice addition.

You added color text? Interesting.

I never liked a character that is too powerful myself, heh. Just seems like a Deus Ex Machina for anything. Just my personal taste really.

Can't wait to see where this eventually goes!

My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

Tue Jan 28, 2014 11:19 pm
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Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am
Posts: 1572
Location: The land of the dulce de leche!
Post Re: All That's Ever Mattered (Updates Irregularly)
I added a little extra, to explain a bit more of just what is going on in this story.

copper Wrote:
You added color text? Interesting.

I never liked a character that is too powerful myself, heh. Just seems like a Deus Ex Machina for anything. Just my personal taste really.

As more characters appear, the dialogues will involve several of them together at once, and thus it's less confusing for the viewers when each character has their own specifically coloured dialogue, and also makes them easier to write, as one no longer needs to point which character is saying each line all the time.

And yes, indeed, over the top characters are rarely well recieved by the audience. The gist of a story is the conflict, but when one or more of the main characters gets away with everything, any illusion of actual conflict is usually lost.
Some heroes always ultimately win, but not always have everything going their way, and the audience, even though they know they'll come victorious in the end, wonders "HOW are they going to get out of this one?"
Overly powerful characters just do what they want, when they want, how they want, and so the only real question is "when" they are going to get away with everything, not "how", let alone "if".

Fear not, however, as this story has a little more depth is not that outright crude and poorly delivered, but I rather you give your own opinions on the matter. Your criticism is as welcome as your approval! Though putting me on parade for me splendorous efforts as a narrator would be considered quite the nice gesture!

20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2018, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!

Thu Jan 30, 2014 6:22 pm
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Location: The land of the dulce de leche!
Post Re: All That's Ever Mattered (Updates Irregularly)
It was a dark and stormy night....

.... Somewhere on northern Belgica, but this tale takes us to the coasts of the roman province of Mauretania, roughly 33 feet (10 M.) and 300 steps (300 steps) underground, so it has nothing to do with harsh weather conditions.
The year is 32 B.C.
All of Rome is under the rule of Octavius and the Senate. All of it? No!
The armies of Marcus Antonius still hold strong in Egypt, and here in the coasts of what will one day be Tunisia, the lodge of the silver pendant prepares for its last stand.

Get me more of planks, and more enchantment powder! They are about to break through!

Pocus, the wizard leading the lodge of the silver pendant, had raised himself and his companions from an ancient, yet clandestine sorcery association, to a wealthy group of mages years before, when he pledged allegiance to the late Pompey the Great in his campaign against the late Julius Caesar, and again in the war between Pompey's late son, Sextus Pomepey against the at-the-time-of-this-story-not-but-in-the-present-definitely late Octavius.
Now, after choosing the wrong side time and time again, the six remaining members of the lodge were besieged in their underground lair by two centurias of Roman soldiers, hades-bent on ending their lives.

Alright, now that the exposition is out of the way, let's get going with the action!

Is it so hard for you to enchant the incriptions further?!- Pocus was getting restless by the second, as the great stone door kept rumbling as the legionaires outside kept ramming it with all their strenght.

We've run out of black ink, our lordship!- Said first apprentice Linus.

You ALWAYS run out of black ink, Linus! Do you eat it when I'm not watching?!- Pocus yelled.

I do-- Linus was not able to finish his reply, as the door rumbled once more, this time cracking around its edges.

They're about to break it down!- Said another mage.

Good to know your eyes work, "Obvious."- Pocus sighed and raised his arms before speaking again, Alright, STAND BACK!- A flash of blinding light engulfed the room as the sorcerer uttered the last syllable. As the light subsided, the great door and the walls around it became enveloped by an intrincate menagerie of floating incantiations and symbols, all pertaining the protection of valuables from would-be intruders.
That there is my strongest "block the door" spell. Takes a lot of effort to make it work, but at least it will buy us time. They will not be able to break the door no- WHAT IN HADES?!- Pocus uttered in complete disbelief as the incantations began to vanish, and the insistent battering finally managed to bring the door down, the legionaires amassing behind the dust and rubble, and ready to charge in, and strike out for blood.

20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2018, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!

Sun Mar 16, 2014 3:23 pm
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