This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 16 posts ] 
The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic! 
Author Message
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 8:52 pm
Posts: 643
Location: Here, eating a nice warm slice of toast..
Post The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
Hello!

Hopefully soon, I'll be writing out a fanfic for all you to read! I've already got characters sorted, the setting and even a map.

Here's the intro:

Prolouge: The start of a story..

In amistd the rolling hills of england sits a small village called Littlewood..
To the north-east of the village lies it's namesake, Littlewood forest, and to the west the expanse of an industrial park. The main road runs from the west straight to the east and beyond, a small village square sits off the road with a short stone clocktower in the middle, facing south from the square lies a road with a close on the end, called 'Maystreet'. Here is where our story starts for a young cat and his family, where adventure starts and new experiences begin.

Hope this has tantalised your taste for the story to come... :)

_________________
Profile Picture by Hakuthewolf on Deviantart.
Character Reference


Wed May 30, 2012 7:59 am
Profile
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 5:33 pm
Posts: 2358
Location: Somewhere between 8:30 and the color red
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
Sounds interesting.

A fic not set in Babylon Gardens, can't wait until you start it.

_________________
The best cymbal player ever has spoken.
ImageImage

JeffCvt is a copyright of jeffcvt inc. and not to be reproduced without the express written consent of CBS and jeff cvt.


Wed May 30, 2012 11:18 am
Profile
Puppy Wrangler
User avatar

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Posts: 6284
Location: Florida
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
Sounds good so far! Can't wait to read it.... by the way, is this just to tell a story, or can we give feedback/ criticism?

_________________
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image


Wed May 30, 2012 9:33 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 8:52 pm
Posts: 643
Location: Here, eating a nice warm slice of toast..
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
Well copper, as the saying goes 'It's a free country', of course you can leave comments/criticism. Just note I WILL NOT be leaving any spelling mistakes, Exept any words with (SP?) on the end! which means I don't know if i've spelt correctly..

I'll be writing up footnotes and jotting ideas to further the story I have so far tomorrow/today (I'm up so late..). And by next week i'll have some solid work to put up here.

Also, If it gets good comments on here I might put up on a blog somewhere! maybe even make it into a comic! I have the artistic flair, just look at my avi, Drew it myself!

_________________
Profile Picture by Hakuthewolf on Deviantart.
Character Reference


Wed May 30, 2012 10:33 pm
Profile
Puppy Wrangler
User avatar

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Posts: 6284
Location: Florida
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
~\Rook/~ wrote:
Well copper, as the saying goes 'It's a free country', of course you can leave comments/criticism. Just note I WILL NOT be leaving any spelling mistakes, Exept any words with (SP?) on the end!



~\Rook/~ wrote:
Hello!

Hopefully soon, I'll be writing out a fanfic for all you to read! I've already got characters sorted, the setting and even a map.

Here's the intro:

Prolouge: The start of a story..

In amistd the rolling hills of england sits a small village called Littlewood..
To the north-east of the village lies it's namesake, Littlewood forest, and to the west the expanse of an industrial park. The main road runs from the west straight to the east and beyond, a small village square sits off the road with a short stone clocktower in the middle, facing south from the square lies a road with a close on the end, called 'Maystreet'. Here is where our story starts for a young cat and his family, where adventure starts and new experiences begin.

Hope this has tantalised your taste for the story to come... :)




Might want to double check though.... seems you type too fast for your mind to keep up, making little letter switches and the like. ;)

_________________
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image


Wed May 30, 2012 10:44 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 8:52 pm
Posts: 643
Location: Here, eating a nice warm slice of toast..
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
Er.. In my defence, those three words you've pointed out, I was unsure of the spelling anyway.. And I do seem to overthink things like that. Mental Note: Proof-read and check spellings..

_________________
Profile Picture by Hakuthewolf on Deviantart.
Character Reference


Wed May 30, 2012 10:50 pm
Profile
Puppy Wrangler
User avatar

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Posts: 6284
Location: Florida
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
4 words, actually, and I would point out defense/defence, but you are british, I suspect, so I will let it slide. :lol:

Eh, everyone makes those little mistakes. No worries though. I will try to keep the spelling bee contestant within me in check! :roll:

_________________
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image


Wed May 30, 2012 11:04 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 8:52 pm
Posts: 643
Location: Here, eating a nice warm slice of toast..
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
Here's chapter one! Finally here!

Chapter 1: Settling in..

The rental van pulls out from number 12 Maystreet and turns left at the square, turning out of sight of a young cat standing on the doorstep.

The cat then turns and heads inside to help with unpacking boxes and bags strewn across the livingroom floor, his owners are standing over an amount of boxes on the sofa, arguing about which ceramic ornament will go on the Fireplace.

"Oh, hey there Rookie boy.." said Mr White, noticing the cat entering the room.

"Da-ad, don't call me that!" moaned Rook, rolling his eyes at the nickname.

"Why's that? I've always called you Rookie, ever scince we named you.." mentioned Mr White, a hurt expression on his face, yet a smile appears after.

"Well, 'cus it's a stupid nickname!" pouted Rook, not beliving he'd hurt his owner's feelings, then scowls at the smile.

"Nick, honey, can you stop torturing the boy and help me with this box?" yelled Mrs White from the kitchen.

"There in a sec, love!" Mr White shouted back, turning to a box on the coffee table and picking it up. "Your stuff is in here, mate, go and take it to your room." said Mr White, giving Rook the box.

"Okay, Dad.." Huffed Rook, taking the weight of the box. He then walks into the hall and starts up the stairs.

"Your room's on the left at the end, Rook!" shouted Mrs White, noticing the creaking of the stairs.

Rook reached the top of the stairs and headed to the end of the landing and turns left into his room, kicking the door closed with the back of his footpaw.
He carries on and places the box on the floor in the middle of the room, Rook yawns and sits on the floor with the box and starts to unpack it, he pulls out a multitude of items; toy cars, old books, some model cars in plastic cases.. And at the bottom lies an amount of comic books, his prized posessions, he carefully pulls them out of the box and places them neatly next to him in a pile. Rook gets up and moves the comic books to the bedside table in the corner of the room, and starts to clean up the rest of the stuff from inside the box into piles around the room, then sits on his bed in corner of the room.

"Hmm.. That's all done then.." He thinks to himself, falling back onto his bed with arms splayed out beside him.

- Continued in next post!

~|Edited: Made it make better sense and cleaned it up a bit! Enjoy|~

_________________
Profile Picture by Hakuthewolf on Deviantart.
Character Reference


Last edited by ~\Rook/~ on Sat Jun 02, 2012 8:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Fri Jun 01, 2012 9:23 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 8:52 pm
Posts: 643
Location: Here, eating a nice warm slice of toast..
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
- Continued Here:

Lying there, Rook thought about his old home in a housing estate close to Birmingham's city center.

"I miss that old place, but here I could make loads of friends, Like Shaggy and Patch back in Birmingham.." he thought, rolling over onto his stomach, then getting up and walking to the window on the far left wall facing the street.
"I bet there's loads of other pets living here.." he murmurs to himself, then he heads downstairs to see if Mrs White has stocked the fridge yet..

Rook enters the livingroom and notices the boxes are stacked in a corner now, and the TV has been set up on a second coffee table next to the boxes.

"Cool, TVs up.." he thought, a smile on his face, he then starts to turn it on but he's interupted by Mrs White entering the room.

"Electric isn't on yet, Rook. You'll have to do somthing else instead.." notes Mrs White, weilding a duster cloth and Mr Kleen Furniture polish and starting to wipe and clean the coffee table in the center of the room.

Rook groans and drops his arm away from the TV. "Great, so what am I SUPPOSED to do??" he moaned, slumping down onto the sofa in a huff.

"Why don't you go out an explore the village? I think there's a park down the road, why don't you go there?" mentions Mrs White, now starting on the TV's table with the furniture polish.

"I guess.. When's dinner?" asks Rook, lounging on the sofa lazily.

"It's at six, as usual, the gas has just been put on.." says Mrs White, as Rook gets up and exits the livingroom.

"Okay, I'll probably be back before then..." notes Rook as he walks out the door and onto the street...

- Next Part: Chapter 1, Part 2: The Park

~|Edited: Just like the last one! Makes more sense and is cleaned up a bit!"|~

That's it! Need more time 'till the next!

_________________
Profile Picture by Hakuthewolf on Deviantart.
Character Reference


Last edited by ~\Rook/~ on Sat Jun 02, 2012 8:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:58 am
Profile
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 5:33 pm
Posts: 2358
Location: Somewhere between 8:30 and the color red
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
Great intro, it looks good so far.

Just one question, why did you put it into 2 posts? The character limit is 60000, so you didn't need to.

_________________
The best cymbal player ever has spoken.
ImageImage

JeffCvt is a copyright of jeffcvt inc. and not to be reproduced without the express written consent of CBS and jeff cvt.


Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:07 am
Profile
Game Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 am
Posts: 14163
Location: Italy
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
Hm, structured like the intro of an RP character.
Sounds interesting, tho.

_________________
Image
Image


Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:49 am
Profile WWW
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 8:52 pm
Posts: 643
Location: Here, eating a nice warm slice of toast..
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
Well, JeffCvt; For some reason, the first time I wrote the first part I tried to post it up but it wouldn't let me, so I edited it and put it into 2 parts. Must of been some random glitch in the system..

And to note valerio's Comment, Yes, I got the idea of the setup and colouring of names from the RP threads, Keeps things simple. Plus, it lets you know who's talking..

_________________
Profile Picture by Hakuthewolf on Deviantart.
Character Reference


Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:41 pm
Profile
Game Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 am
Posts: 14163
Location: Italy
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
Hm, I can't see it very useful on the long run. Once you add enough characters, (each one with his/her color?) then you'll have a rainbow worth of reading with each update, and that tends to tire out the eyes.
It must be done in RP because otherwise it gets confusing, and unless one wants to read a whole thread the color system works for occasional reads.
I think you should exercise with regular writing. ;)

_________________
Image
Image


Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:46 pm
Profile WWW
Puppy Wrangler
User avatar

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Posts: 6284
Location: Florida
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
This reads like a play or something. Present tense is rarely used in literature.Still, it looks interesting enough, and I cannot wait for the next part! :D

_________________
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image


Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:54 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 8:52 pm
Posts: 643
Location: Here, eating a nice warm slice of toast..
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
Okay, valerio, I'll try writing it out in the normal way. I just thought it would jazz it up and help with reading, but I didn't think of it the longrun..

Should I edit the first part?

And to answer copper; I thought about writing it up in past-tense, but I've always wrote out stories like this and it works for me.. Only now do I notice that books are written out in past-tense.. Hm, I'll edit the first part into past-tense and see how it looks. If I think it still looks better present-tense, i'll carry on that way, if not i'll edit it all..

Now, to editing! Then sleep.. ~|Edited: Now that's Done, SLEEP!|~


Not enough time in the day.. *Sigh*

_________________
Profile Picture by Hakuthewolf on Deviantart.
Character Reference


Sat Jun 02, 2012 7:57 pm
Profile
Puppy Wrangler
User avatar

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Posts: 6284
Location: Florida
Post Re: The Story of Rook ~ My First Fanfic!
*shrugs* To each his own dude. You wouldn't be the first fan ficcer to use present tense in a story. :|

_________________
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image


Mon Jun 04, 2012 7:46 pm
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.   [ 16 posts ] 

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
  • Advertisement
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by ST Software for PTF.