The Whispers of my Soul

What do you call a fic that's not a fic

Moderators: Hagus, SeanWolf

Locked
MisterCritiquer
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2012 11:38 pm

The Whispers of my Soul

Post by MisterCritiquer »

hello to all of you out there. I have been a guest here for almost 1/2 year. There has been one major thing i have learned while reading other people's fan fics. To have a powerful, interesting, and popular story you need action, drama, comedy, and love. I plan on writing a fan fiction that has all of those elements combined into one story. I can't give you any details about it yet, the problem is i can't write the start right now because of massive school work and illness. But i promise i'll start by the first or second week of May.

This was just the starting post to get people's interests, then once i start ill have everyone's interests!
User avatar
JeffCvt
Posts: 2854
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 5:33 pm
Location: Somewhere between 8:30 and the color red

Re: The Whispers of my Soul

Post by JeffCvt »

Hmmm...

Sounds intresting. Can't wait for the first part then.
Jeff "Clavy" Civit
User avatar
RandomGeekNamedBrent
laughing maniacally
Posts: 21032
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:42 pm
Location: an invisible, flying volcano over Virginia

Re: The Whispers of my Soul

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

just be sure that the action, drama, comedy and love don't break the forum's rating and I'm sure it will be good. maybe not great, I don't know how good you are at writing, but it will probably be good.
Paradigm Shift by me
I do not actually believe any of what I'm saying.
RP character sheets
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: The Whispers of my Soul

Post by copper »

Can't wait to see it. Sounds like a good fic to me! :)
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
valerio
Posts: 19330
Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 am
Location: Italy
Contact:

Re: The Whispers of my Soul

Post by valerio »

Excellent! Can't wait to see your talent in this forun then :D
Image
MisterCritiquer
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2012 11:38 pm

Re: The Whispers of my Soul

Post by MisterCritiquer »

Here it is my first chapter, this is more of a prologue to the story then the actual story but it's still an update. I am open to any criticism or praise.

Prologue

Tch, Tch. Tch
“What was that?”
“What was what?

Tch, Tch, Tch
“That.”
“I can't hear anything.”

Tch, Tch, Tch
“Can't you hear that?”
“No, you must be hearing things. There's no one in the building except us.”

Tch, Tch, Tch
“No, I know I heard something.”
“Fine, you can go check it out, but be back quickly.”

Tch, Tch, Tch
“I will find what's making the noise, don't worry.”
“Whatever.”

Tch, Tch, Tch
The man walked over to a pile of boxes. “What the? Ahhhhh!” Wham! Smash!
“Adam? What the hell happened?......Adam?”
The other man jogs over. “What the? Holy #@&%!” Crush! Bang! Crunch!

'That was one of the easiest jobs i've ever done, those guys were wimps.Now time to get out of here, and alert the authorities. The shipment will never be received idiots.' A dark figure thought while planting explosives in the container. It continued with it's work than left the building, pushing a button once out.

BOOM!!

The nearly empty warehouse went up in flames, easily alerting authorities. The figure kept walking down the alley never looking back at the carnage. Watching out for his next act. It walked throughout the city, down alleys, in the shadows. Staying out of sight, but still watching out for anything. Glancing around once reaching a park, spotting a man with a knife mugging a women. 'Finally some action' It thought, sprinting to aid the civilian. “Hey!” It shouted once close.

“What?” The man said turning around. There was no one there. “Huh.”

“Hey.” Bam! The figure said then punched the guy square in the nose, hearing it break.

“Ahhh! @#*% that hurt!” The man yelled while falling down. By the time he looked up there was no woman or anyone else standing there. “ Where the hell did you go %$#&*! Come back here!”

“You wanted me?” A voice said from behind him.
He whipped around, still no one. Then a jolting pain was send up this spine, causing massive agony.

“That should teach you to commit a crime, in my city.” The figure said then was gone.



'People just never learn in my city.' The figure thought while continuing it's nightly walk. It's early mornings are spent the same every day. It sits on the roof of an office building, one of the tallest in the city, gazing across to the horizon. Thinking and pondering what will happen the next day.


'Who am I? I am the only thing that keeps this city safe when the cops are useless. Foster is a powerful man with people and resources all over the place but he only uses those to protect himself, the LCG, Babylon Gardens, and his family of pets. He doesn't protect the people of the city. Foster's work can only go so far beyond the law otherwise he has to stay within the law, where as I have no laws. I have no barriers to stop me from doing my job.The people need protection and I am the provider of that simple action. I am the protector of this city, my home town, and my life.'

(I'm sorry that some of the action i had to cut, but i had to stay with the PG-13 rating. Also i'm sorry about the real vague and mysterious details. But all will be revealed in later chapters. One more thing: I plan on an update every week or two depending on my schedule.)
Last edited by copper on Mon May 07, 2012 11:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Mod Edit: Over rating
musclecar326
Posts: 684
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2011 10:30 pm

Re: The Whispers of my Soul

Post by musclecar326 »

That's a nice prologue to what sounds like will be a very interesting story to read. I really want to know who or what the 'figure' is. I think it's a cat because of the way it crept through the shadows and moved very fast and stealthily.
Image
Image
Yes, I am a furry.
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: The Whispers of my Soul

Post by copper »

Hmm... so a vigilante story set in Valerio's universe. Very interesting. Wonder how this turns out.
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
valerio
Posts: 19330
Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 am
Location: Italy
Contact:

Re: The Whispers of my Soul

Post by valerio »

heh, the Punisher came to town...
Looks promising, but just be wary of the rating. ;)
Image
User avatar
JeffCvt
Posts: 2854
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 5:33 pm
Location: Somewhere between 8:30 and the color red

Re: The Whispers of my Soul

Post by JeffCvt »

Hehehe...
Sounds like we have an overpowered protagonist here.

I love overpowered protagonists and antagonists.
Jeff "Clavy" Civit
User avatar
CanadianHero
Posts: 79
Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:47 pm
Location: Look Up

Re: The Whispers of my Soul

Post by CanadianHero »

wow, this sounds like this going to be a excellent story, the violence might need to be toned slightly down, but that's my opinion, keep up the good work :D
Fox: Ah ignore Peanut fighting Bino, you want churro, no? King: Si!

Let's Dance! *falls to floor*
MisterCritiquer
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2012 11:38 pm

Re: The Whispers of my Soul

Post by MisterCritiquer »

Sorry, that i haven't been able to thank you for the comments, my computer crashed on the 8th. I only just got it back yesterday. Thank you for the praise, and i already got a warning for the rating, i will be more careful in the future. Because i only just got my computer back recently, I can only start working on the next update now, so expect it next weekend, Thank you all for the patience.

Also a hint about next chapter:
There will be some backstory and a flashback for the figure, revealing some important stuff about him.
musclecar326
Posts: 684
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2011 10:30 pm

Re: The Whispers of my Soul

Post by musclecar326 »

Sorry about your computer problem. But this next update sounds like its going to be cool! Hope you keep writing.
Image
Image
Yes, I am a furry.
Locked