Housepets!

I shall do as you ask of me, my empress. I am forever in your debt for allowing me to look upon the greatness that is your writing.

I am an interloper and stalwart defender of the old guard! Mr. Griffin shall have his importance, though you shall be forever the best! Long Live the Empress!!!!

Itz so funny! Omg, you should warn people about there brains splattering onto the screen.

I take heart for you are the bulwark against any other person trying to lay claim to the title of GREATEST Housepets Fanfiction Evar. Then we little people who go around trying to tell our little stories are protected from wood trolls and witches' spells, ...wait wait I got you mixed up with garden gnomes. What I mean to say is anybody who tries to make a better GREATEST Housepets Fanfiction Evar than you will be discouraged and leaving our sanity safe.

So im gonna post another story here and ur not gonna make fun of it b-cuz its gonna be AW-SUM and Rick will be like "wow!" and yeah! So here it is!

==== HOUSEPETS THE CEREAL ====

---- THE PRO LOG ----
it was the best of times,
it was the worst of times,
i was the age of wisdom,
i was the age of foolishness,
i wuz the era of belief,
i wuz the era of incredulity
i got bored at that point and stopped reading.

this story starts in a tiem before the housepets we know. it starts in a time known as... THE BEFORE TIME. this is going to get kinda complicated so get bare with me, ok? in the beginning, there was the world. and the world as boring, much like ours, because much like ours, the animals didn't talk or anything, and that was boring. you see, much like ours, in this world, animals were dumb and just said things like cat's went "meow" and dog's went "woof" and horses went "nay" and cow's went "moo" because their cows were stoopid, much like ours. but then there was coyote. and coyote came. and then he made all the animals talk and walk like people do and it was awesome and fun and everyone was like "this is awesome and fun!" or something like that. and it was great.

but it was not great, for not all was wll with this new word, for you see, there was one celesstial being who was not cool. he was bad. he was a buttface. and he was totally NOT attractive. and his band was terrrible and he hated everything that was good like twilight and one direction and mcdonalds and blink 182 and instead he liked lame bands like leftover crap and the sexy pistols. and his name was..................
........................
...........................
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RACCOON! The biggest BUTTFACE at my school! NYAH! (that's the sound of me sticking out my tongue at him cuz hes such a BUTTFACE!)

N-E-ways, there was him, raccoon the buttface, and then there was another one, b-cuz where there is evil there is good, where there is dark there is lightness, where there is brussel sprouts there is also sugar, where there is bannannas there is also apples (because we all know that apples is objectively better than bannannas) were there was BUTTFACE RACCOON, THERE WAS ALSO, VALLERIE NIGHTENGALE, THE GREAT AWESOME PERSON WHO EVERYONE LOVEDS!!!!!*





....AND THAT IS WHERE OUR STORY IS SET!!!




---- PART 1: THE PART WHERE EVERYTHING STARTS ----
so it was vallerie's senior year (omg) at the celestial high school (all the best storys are set in high schools, take note ricky) and she was the most popuFUR (get it, cuz im a FURRY?) girl in the school! she walked down the hall and all the other students said things like "wow, theres vallerie!" and "wow, she's so cool!" and "wow, she's so popular!" and even the teachers luved her because she was so cool. she went to her locker (lockers are cool) which was different from all the other lickers becuz it was painted PINK! (OMG) and it had stickers for the JONAS BROTHERS and ONE DIRECTION and COOL BANDS like that! and it had all of valleries stuff in it so that made it even cooler!

so anyways vallerie took her stuff out and put it in her miley cyrus bookbag, and then she took her stuff out of her lockr, and then she put it in her miley syrus backpack and then she closed it and locked it so no BUTTFACES could get in there and read her diary, then she walked off to go to class. but she didnt get far. because she turned the corner. and when she turned the corner, she saw none other than THAT BUTTFACE RACCON.

raccoon was one of the BAD kids, who hangs out in BAD places and does BAD things... like MURDER! and LISTENING TO PUNK! and JAYWALKING! and once again, he is TOTALLY NOT ATTRACTIVE! N-E-WAYS, he was standing there leaning against the wall next to the water fountain and TOTALLY in valleries way, which he was doing on purpose becuz he KNEW that vallerie was going to walk down THAT HALL and use THAT WATERFOUNTAIN and he was wearing sunglasses and black clothes because THATS WHAT THE BAD KIDS DO!

so vallerie pressed on, and went to comfront raccoon and said "hey.... whats up? you waiting here for me?"

and raccoon sad, "Uh... No, I'm just leaning against this wall..." but it was a LIE and vallerie KNEW becuz she is SMART and reads enough COSMO to know how MEN think!!

so vallerie pushed her hair back and took a drink, then said, "arnt you going to go to class?"

and raccoon said "Not right now..." because he doesnt care what anyone thinks of him but hes still an uncool buttface.

and vallerie said "but then you would B skipping class and that would be bad!"

and raccoon said "No, this is college. I don't have a class right now..." because raccoon is a BUTTFACE and he doesn't know that the best stories are set in HIGHSCHOOL, not colledge.

but anyway, vallerie ignored him being a BUTTFACE and kept drinking and she said, "ok, well, im going to filosafy cla-"

"Wait... are you trying to spell 'Philosphy', 'cause that's not how it's spelled"

and vallerie said "SHUT UP RACCOON, YOU ARE A BUTTFACE AND IT'S MY STORY AND I CAN SPELL FILOSOFY HOWEVER I WANT."

"That's not how language works..."

"I DONT CARE, WHO INVITED YOU INTO MY STORY HUH?!?"

"Um.... You sorta wrote me in here as a token villain against my will... I'm still waiting to see where this is going..."

"OH YEAH, WELL IF YOU THINK YOUR SO SMART WHY DONT YOU TELL ME THIS: ARE HUMENS INHERRENTLY GOOD OR EVIL?"

"Well... That's a complicated question which depends"

"THAT'S NOT AN ANSER!!!!" vallerie rightly proclaimed to the buttface, "YOU HAVE TO ANSWER YES OR NO! SEAN HANNITY TAGHT ME THATS HOW DEBATES WORK!!"

"Ok fine then. If you think it's that simple then what do YOU think is the answer?"

and vallerie KNEW the answer, because vallerie is SMART! and she said "humens are inherrently evil, b-cuz buttfaces like you are always meen to pretty people like me!"

and raccoon, because he is always plying devils advakit and disagreeing just because he is a buttface, said, "Ok, according to sociology studies, people tend to attempt to do things which they themselves see as 'good', so if you were to go by that standard, humans are inherently good."

"OH YEAH!?" vallerie said "YOU CANT PROVE THAT!!!"

"Well," the buttface said, "I COULD refer to statistics, but I'm pretty sure you don't believe in those... so I guess we'll have to take the other option you've given us."

"Oh yeah mr 'i quote statistics becuz i think im so smart but im NOT!!' what option is THAT, the option where you concede defeat?!" vallerie accused

raccoon, of course, KNEW he had been caught trying to weasel his way out of it so he attempted to stall by throwing up a clever distraction "Well, in the context of what you SAID was a fanfiction, we're supposed to be celestial beings in the world of Housepets. Maybe we could actually do something to manipulate actual Housepets characters, then, not only could we use them to argue the point, if you don't forget about it by the next chapter, but then the moderators wouldn't take this down for clearly having nothing to do with Housepets. I mean, up until this point, it's just been you talking about how popular you are and calling me a buttface." raccoon, who WAS a buttface, said.

"you know WHAT?" vallerie said "i WILL take you up on that! well be like pete and spirit dragon (who is so pretty!) and well interfere with the characters lives and then we can set up deep filosofical scenarios where i can prove once and for all that you are a BUTTFACE!"

"Ok." raccoon said "When do we start?"

"after school" said vallerie "right now, i have to go to history class (soooo booorriiiiing!!)"

AND THEN THE COOL GIRL WENT TO HER CLASS AND LEFT THE BUTTFACE BEHIND UNTIL LATER AND HE JUST SAT THERE BEING A BUTTFACE.


TO BE CONTINUES


* note that I combined "loved" and "loves" into "loveds" to show that it is always and 4-ever that people LUV Vallerie Nightengale, who is my original charater do not steal.


OK EVERYONE, THATS MY NEW DIRECTION FOR MY STORIES AND ITS GOING TO BE AWESOME AND HAVE ACTION AND ROMANCE AND CONFLICT BETWEEN VALLERIE AND A BUTTFACE JUST LIKE IN THE COMIC! YAY ME! IM SO ORIGIONAL!!

_________________
vallerie nightengale
the prettiest princess and best writer on the housepets forums!!!

*hugs rockstar* This is so AWSHUM! I LUV VALLERIE THE GREATEST OF DA GREAT. I knew that if I waited for her she'd not let me down!

ok im back to rite another part!! i hope you all liked the last one and im going to post another one now because i dont want to keep you all waiting for the next chapter like SOME WRITERS do. (ya here ricky? put down whatever else your doing and start releasing 5 strips a day! stop being lazy!!)

this fanfiction is gonna be epic and awesome and its gonna blow you all away. ok??? just keep reading and be sur to upvote and leave praise!!


==== HOUSEPETS THE CEREAL ====
---- PART 1 - CHAPTER 1: STUFF STARTS HAPPENING ----
so it was after school and vallerie nightengale and buttfaced raccoon were in baby-lon gardens where housepets is set.

"Wait... How are we here? I thought you said this was set in 'THE TIME BEFORE TIME' or something..." the dumb buttface asked because he was too dumb to know that THE TIME BEFORE TIME is timeless.

"Becuz," vallerie had to explain to the buttface "THE TIME BEFORE TIME is TIMELESS, so all time is happening at once because that's how TIME works!"

"NO. NO IT IS NOT." the buttface said because he thinks science has a monopoly on truth "BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT GOING TO STALL THE STORY FOR THAT. Just keep going: I want to get back to work soon..." he said this because he KNEW that he was dumb and vallerie was right, as always, and that none of his scientific "fact" could trick her because she knew what she believed!

N-E-ways, so vallerie and buttface were in baby-lon gardens, where housepets was set, but no one could see them because they were they're only in spirit just because they had to choose avatars.

"So... what do we need avatars for? I mean, couldn't we just screw with them without avatars? Because I don't know what we'd even-"

"JUST PICK AN AVATAR OK!?!?"

"Ok, fine, I like Maxwell, so I'll pick him." buttface raccoon picked a buttface character like max.

"Fine!" vallerie picked "i'll pick sasha, because she is pretty and popular and she has a heart on her butt!" (she does! look at her butt!)

and raccoon said "Ok then. Now what?"

and vallerie said "now we make them FIGHT!!"

and buttface said "What? What will that even prove? I thought we were here to demonstrate some sot of philosophical quandry!"

"YOURE BIG WORDS WONT SAVE YOU BUTTFACE! I AM GOING TO BEAT YOU WITH MY BETTER AVATAR NOW THUS PROVING THAT I AM BETTER THAN YOU AT THIS!!"

"YOU PICKED HER BECAUSE SHE HAS A HEART ON HER BUTT. HOW IS THAT BETTER?"

"EW!! WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT HER BUTT YOU PERVERT?!"

"BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO."

and then vallerie got tired of dealing with raccoon beng a buttface so then they were all in an arena where they could fight.

"Wat." said maxwell and sashaa

"Wat." said buttface.

"what?" said vallerie, who didn't know what they didnt understand about this.

"Um... how did we get here?" asked max the buttface-avatar.

"She did this." buttface pointed to vallerie, "I'm as confused as you are. Just... go along with it so we can get back to the rest of the story ok? We'll be here all day if you ask her to explain..."

"...um... ok?" max say, and then they started.

the battle goes like this: each side gets to give their avatar whatever they want then they kill the other sides avatar and then they win, ok??

so vallerie gave sasha a bewtiful flowing dress like the ones in the movies, maybe like the one she had in cinderella when she went to the ball. it was a magical dress that would always be pretty!

raccoon gave max a tank.

and then sasha had bewtiful butterfly wings like a fairy, only they werent like bug wings but they were like fairy wings and they were bewtiful. and so sasha could fly and was like a magical fairy princess.

Raccoon gave Max a tank.

and sasha was the most bewtiful fairy princess evar, almost as bewtiful as vallerie, and everyone loved her forever and wanted to be her friend, and she had a magic wand which made rainbows and sparkles come out!

RACCOON. GAVE MAX. A TANK.

OK FINE RACCOON, MAX HAS A TANK, ARE YOU HAPPY?!?!

Max fired the tank cannon at Sasha, who died because Vallerie doesn't know how these things work and didn't do anything about the tank.

"NO FAIR!" vallerie, who DOES TOO know what she's doing, told the buttface "YOU CHEATED!!"

max got out of his tank then looked around then went over to were sasha was.

"How did I cheat?" the buttfaced cheater asked "You said we could give them whatever we wanted, I gave Max a tank, you just sat there yammering about the outfit while Max shot her!"

max poke sasha with a stick "Uh.... Sasha? You ok?"

"yeah but I was supposed to WIN!" vallerie rightly pointed out "im the PRO-TAGONIST in this story!! thats how it works!!"

max look over and say "Uh, guys? Did I just kill Sasha? 'Cause I kinda figured this wasn't real or something..."

"NO. NO THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS." the buttface said, even tho it was a LIE "BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S JUST GO WITH IT. YOU WANNA TRY THIS AGAIN FROM THE BEGINNING?" he said that becuz he KNEW he was a cheater!

"YEAH! THATS JUST WAT ILL DO!!" said vallerie

and then they were in baby-lon gardens, but only in spirit, because raccoon is a cheater who cant follow the naritive right.

"So Vallerie, do we pick avatars again?" the buttface had the GALL to ask.

"NO." said vallerie, who was smarter and prettier than him and WAY out of his lague "Becuz yule just CHEAT again like the CHEATING BUTTFACE YOU ARE!!"

"Ok, then what DO we do now, huh? It's YOUR story and YOU'RE the one who brought us here." the buttface was being mean again by attacking vallerie with his so called "facts" becuz he wuz JELLY!

"I DONT KNOW!! I DIDNT THINK THAT FAR IN ADVANCE!!! WRITING IS HARD OK!?!"

AND THEN THEY ENDED THE CHAPTER FOR NOW BECAUSE IT IS HARD TO RITE OK?!?

OK THEN! THAT'S ANOTHER CHAPTER AND ONCE AGAIN, VALLERIE NIGHTENGALE HAS OUTDONE HERSELF!!!! Keep watching this thread for the next exciting part of this chapter when I figure out what to do next!!

K THANX BAI!!

_________________
Vallerie Bellatrix Nightengale
the most bewtiful princess and best ritter on the housepets forums!!![/quote]

COON IS A TEE-AW-TOOL BUTTFACE! How did he dare to let Sweet (N-beautiful!) Sasha Die?!
Nuke 'im, Vallerie!

Love reading this fan fiction a lot. You are really talented.

Amazee Dayzee wrote:Love reading this fan fiction a lot. You are really talented.

i kno write?? iv got 2 b the best fanfic author on the whole internet!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

_________________
Vallerie Bellatrix Nightengale
the most bewtiful princess and best ritter on the housepets forums!!!

OMG!!!! its so gud plz counite!!!! <3 <3 <3 hey can u ad my fc

NAME: darkstar the wolfcorgi
AGE: forever
GENDER: ehs a boy
APPEARANCE: he looks liek king except blak with red spikes i mean stripes on his hed
BIO: eh was born and razed on space colony ARK as the second ultimante life form creeted by professer gerald robutnik becuz his mom and ded wer killd by hunters when eh was a pup so he haets humanz and wants to kill them and bak then eh was wolf but then pete came and made him part corgi cuz he though it wud be funneh so now eh is a wolfcorgi also eh karries a gun becuz gunz r cool and eh swoar revenj on pete also tarot is his gf
LIKES: gunz, hevy medal muzik, naruto, tarot (his gf), killing ppl HURTING PPL srry mom
HATES: humanz, happiness
POEWERS: eh can breath in space and underwater and eh also can do magik liek in finul fantusy
THEME SONG: pappercut by linkin park
QUOTES:
"darn!" (cant say actaul word sorry mom is wacthing)
"paffetic humanz" (cuz eh haets humanz)

plz counite & thnx!!!!




(Real talk, a fine parody fanfiction, sir. Nearly had me in overdrive at points. Whether you accept my mock FC or not, I will counite to read this epic masterpiece.

*cough* Conitnue, sorry.

...Continue. That's what I meant, yes.

...Also, sorry, I tried way too hard with this.)

I... uh... What exactly is it that I just read?

SuperStar wrote:I... uh... What exactly is it that I just read?

The bestest fanfic ever in the history of evers

I need to start reading fan fics again just to get caught up on miss Vallerie Nightengale's work., It's better than betstest. it's the besterest.

RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:I need to start reading fan fics again just to get caught up on miss Vallerie Nightengale's work., It's better than betstest. it's the besterest.

Who's Valerie? I don't think I've seen that username.

This fanfic is...amazing. Take notes Ricky.

Forget notes. Throw yourself down at his feet and BEG for him to take you under his wing.

This is the best thing I've ever read. Please keep going. XD

VALLERIE'S BACK!!!! Ohmygosh! I love your fic! You are the bestest and don't worry about that buttface raccoon! He is just having a phase and is a butt and a raccoon.

SuperStar wrote:

RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:I need to start reading fan fics again just to get caught up on miss Vallerie Nightengale's work., It's better than betstest. it's the besterest.

Who's Valerie? I don't think I've seen that username.

she uses Raccoon's account to post her amazing fic, but you can see her name in his signature.

'Tis a great thang isn't it?

I believe the time of this thread has passed. Farewell, early forum strangeness, and may a host of angel huskies guide your way.