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Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.
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Author:  Hopper200456 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:52 am ]
Post subject:  Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Intro

Grape walked up the long hospital staircase. It seemed to go on forever. She had waited for this moment all week, yet she was so very nervous. This will be the first time she saw Peanut since
the accident. A week and a half ago a car had hit Peanut. She was surprised he hadn’t broken any bones. Mom and Dad didn’t come they had already seen him. Grape was by her self.
Almost at his room. Room 666…She looked Left, Then right to see a room with the numbers 666 on a silver plate. The hallway seemed the longest she had seen. Of course, It was just 10 feet. She got to the door and pulled it trying to open it. It was locked or something. She pulled as hard as she could. She must have been out of here mind…
The door said “PUSH” on it. When she saw that she noticed she felt stupid and hoped no one saw that…She pushed the Door open and peeked her head in. A small table along with one chair next to it, a Bed, and a Fridge. She knew who was in the bed, Peanut…
Grape: Peanut?
A head Looked at her from the bed. It was Peanut.
Peanut: Yes?
Grape: How are you feeling? She said as she got closer.
Peanut: Fine, Sleepy.
Grape Smiled, Probable the first time today.
She put her hands(Paws) on the bed.
Grape: Need Anything?
Peanut: No, Im fine. Well, There is one thing I want to ask…
Grape: Sure, Anything.
Peanut…Who are you?


Intro End.
-------------
Did you like it? Im kinda Newish at writing but, Please..
Tell me how I did.Its very Short.

Author:  valerio [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Liked this intro, though a bit of a shortie
Looks like my evil soul is influencing your innocent minds, folks. Yet another story with injuried Peanut. What have I done?!?
If I am allowed a suggestion, I'd rather not see the 'character name' followed by dialog as you are doing. But that's only 'cause I'm not much fond of that way of writing.
Keep the story going now! It's getting INTERESTING

Author:  fenning [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 3:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Cool! This would be a good canon arc for Rick. Hope to see more!

Author:  Hopper200456 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Thank you.
I will post Chapter One soon,
I want it to be longer so Im working on it longer..

Author:  Alex [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

O_o Nice! Amnesia... Grape's gonna be horrified!

Author:  Dr. Prower [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Oh yeah, this is gonna be one worth following.

Author:  valerio [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Alex Wrote:
O_o Nice! Amnesia... Grape's gonna be horrified!


this is gonna be the test of her true love!
Hmm...wonder what means she's gonna recourse to, to heal Peanut's memory... ;)

Author:  Hopper200456 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

A little bit longer...

CHAPTER 1

The rest of the day was a nightmare for Grape.
Showing him new things...Or things he already knew about just forgot. Grape got bored of teaching him all new/Old things, and told him to play the Wii…
“Play with what?!?!” Peanut said with a horrid look on his face.
Grape was already lying down quietly on the couch…
“Play the Wii…” Grape mumbled.
“That’s so gross and sick!” Peanut yelled
There parents had gone out for dinner leave the two pets.
“What are you-“ Grape started, and then realized what he was talking about.
“Look.” Grape said handing him the controller.
Peanut looked at the strange white block. He pushed a button that made a *Clack!* Peanut smiled hearing this noise.
And pushed it again. *Clack!* And again. *Clack!*
Now he was testing how fast he could make the button go…
* Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack! *
“I’m trying to sleep here!” Grape complained.
“Here.” She said as she grabbed the controller from him.
She pushed the power button. Peanut jumped when he saw the T.V. flash on.
“Wow...” Peanut gasped..
“Have fun.” Grape said giving the controller back to Peanut.
Peanut pushed the Power button. The T.V. went black.
Then he pushed it again…And Again… And Again… And Again… The T.V. was flashing so fast when grape opened her eyes she had to cover them because of all the flashing light.
“SHESH!” Grape yelled as she grabbed the remote from his paws.
“Sorry…” Peanut said frowning.
Grape was grumbling something Peanut didn’t want to know.
Peanut left to the kitchen. He wandered of as normal thinking about his past. Well trying to anyway…He walked into the back yard and sat on the nice winter snow.
He looked at the yard covered in a white blanket of snow.
To the left of him was the Barbeque. To the left there was a fishpond. The Pond was frozen over but the fish were let out.
Grape made sure of that. Bino was walking past at the time.
“Hey!” Peanut said getting up from his spot. Bino turned to look at him.
“Hey, Whats up?” Bino replied.
“Do you live near here?”
“…What? Peanut its me Bino I live over there.” Bino said pointing at a house across the street.
“Im Peanut. I think.. Lets be friends!!”
“Wha- We already are friends!”
“No I just meet you!”
“Wha-Whatever…” Bino said as he walked of very fast.
Peanut was kind of confused himself. But he quickly found something to do.
Grape was lying on her bed enjoying her nice not bugged nap.
When Peanut came. He was caring snow into the house one handful at a time. Placing it around or on Grape. Luckily,
Grape was sound asleep. He made a nice big snow fort on top of her.
“Finished!” Peanut said as he admired his work.

END OF CHAPTER 1

Author:  Dr. Prower [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Awww, Peanut's so cute. And that part about "Play the Wii" made me laugh so hard.

Author:  Alex [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

I agree with Dr. Prower... also, Bino saying to Peanut "We're already friends!" is kinda weird xD

Author:  valerio [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

The good: this story keeps going better and better. :D
The bad: should be more long and descriptive. You don't get amnesiac Peanut everyday, there's a whole world of possibilities out there. :mrgreen:
Agree with the above: Bino talking about being friends? Creeeeepy idea of friendship, there!

Author:  44R0NM10 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Bino! He's friends with everyone! They just don't know it!

I liked this short read. I didn't think you'd be able to fit so much into so little text though. I suppose that's good and bad. Still, I understand what's happening just fine. :D

Author:  Hopper200456 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

*Blushes*
Thank you all...
I will try to make it longer and more descriptive.

Author:  valerio [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

It's us who thank YOU. Your idea is new and brilliant, we want to read more! :D :D

Author:  Alex [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

I agree with Valerio. Amnesia... no-one ever thought about that.

Author:  valerio [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Hey, at least Grape should be happy about one thing: No more going all 'GRAAAAPE' on her! :mrgreen:

Author:  Dr. Prower [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

valerio Wrote:
Hey, at least Grape should be happy about one thing: No more going all 'GRAAAAPE' on her! :mrgreen:

Instead, he's doing stuff much worse. Like burying her in snow (which has to melt at some point, which means she'lll be wet lol)

Author:  Hopper200456 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

You guys have really made me smile. :)
As a gift CHAPTER 2!!!!Its short.And not very funny..
But..HERE:

CHAPTER 2

Grape Opened her eyes surprised she had an quiet nap.
Until… She noticed how cold it was… She looked on the couch
noticing all the snow on top of her….
“PEANUT!!!”
Peanut was hiding behind a couple of boxes to the left of her.
He was laughing so hard.
“YOU SUCH A-“

Later that day Peanut and Grape were grounded from what they did. Peanut bringing snow into the house and Grape for using
strong inappropriate language. Peanut went back outside in the back yard. He made a couple of snowmen. Soon after making them boxing there heads off. Grape hated the “new” Peanut.
The stress and cold couch made her want to go for a walk and get away from everything. She walked out the front door closing it behind her. She walked a couple of feet then noticed Tarot fallowing her.
“Ah!” Grape said as she jumped.
“Hello Grape.Was that you yelling ten minutes ago?” Tarot asked.
“…Why?”
“I could hear you from across the street!”
“…Really?”
“Yup. I didn’t know you were allowed to use that type of strong language!”
“Um..”
This wasn’t making her feel better. To change the subject she said
“Ur… Did you hear about Peanut?!”
“I the spirits told me all about it. Poor dog.”
“Um… Right.”
“How is he?” Tarot said as she started to walk off.
“Fine….ish.” Grape said walking behind her.
---------Back at home.------------------------------
“Arg!” Peanut yelled.
“What wrong Sweetie?” Peanuts Mom peaked out the door from the kitchen as Peanut lied on the living room couch.
“That cat isn’t here to play with!”
“Her names Grape.”
“Right! Still, She walked off and I wasn’t done playing with him!”
“… Shes a girl...”
“She is!…Oh..Oohh…Hmm…”Peanut said blushing.
“Are you Okay?”
“Fine. Uh,Mom? Does she like dogs?”
----------------------------Back outside.--------------------

Grape sighed…
“I just wish I could get his memory back…Hes so…Different..”
“I will take time to get his memory restored.”
“…Wait! Take time? Its possible! We can restore his memory!!”
Tarot forgot she was talking to a cat, not a spirit.
“Umm…Maybe…I meant…Uh…BYE!” Tarot said as she ran as fast as she could.
“YES!” Grape was filled with excitement now!
“I can really do it!”
-------------------Back at home.(Again.)------------------
“Im BACK!” Grape yelled as she entered the room.
Peanut walked up to her.
“Uh, Hi. You look…Very nice today…And Pretty..” Peanut said blushing as he walked up to Grape.
“Uh. Thank you?” said Grape walking away from him…
Peanut frowned as if he failed.
He walked into the living room and picked up the “Wii” controller of the ground and started smashing tha buttons as fast as he could till’ he got bored and saw a nice round shiny ball on the ground.
He picked it up and played with it in his fingers.
He crushed it so hard it sliped out from his fingers at the same time Grape came out of the kitchen door, and he ball(Made of 100% plastic.) Smashed into head! Knocking her out, Falling on the ground.
“Oops…”
END OF CHAPTER 2

Author:  Tiggy [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Lol. Hhahah

Author:  Hopper200456 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Tobee Wrote:
Lol. Hhahah

Your so mean.:P

Author:  Tiggy [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

No no, I liked it :3 That's why, (Made me giggle a bit, really :p)

Author:  Hopper200456 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Tobee Wrote:
No no, I liked it :3 That's why, (Made me giggle a bit, really :p)

I thought you were laughing at Grape getting hurt.

Author:  valerio [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

This story keeps growing funnier by the chapter! Hmm, amnesiac Grape as well, now? :lol:
The writing is improving, that's good... Out of curiosity, Hopper: are you using an automatic translator for your text?

Author:  Hopper200456 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

valerio Wrote:
This story keeps growing funnier by the chapter! Hmm, amnesiac Grape as well, now? :lol:
The writing is improving, that's good... Out of curiosity, Hopper: are you using an automatic translator for your text?

What?Im not sure I understand..

Author:  Alex [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Quote:
hes a girl...”
“She is!…Oh..Oohh…Hmm…”Peanut said blushing.
“Are you Okay?”
“Fine. Uh,Mom? Does she like dogs?”

:lol: xD

Also, the writing doesn't look like it's automatically translated. Translators suck when it comes to a big text.

Author:  valerio [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

already cleared that with Hopper in PM.

Author:  Hopper200456 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Here is the last Update for today.
Just a little hint for whats to come.
It takes place right after Chapter 3. Dream? Real life? Who knows?

CHAPTER ?

Grape was lying in white empty room.
“Oww.” She said as she felt her head
.“Stupid dog…When I get back he is-“ She stopped talking instead looking forward at the monster looking at her.
He was twice her size and was all black with red eyes on his black skull. He was just a skull with eyes and tentacles hanging from his skull.
WE ARE COMING FOR YOU!” It shouted.
“Grape!” Said a voice behind her. She looked to see who it was.
Peanut, Chained to a post next to three other monsters was shouting at her.
“Free me!” Peanut shouted.
The monster jumped on Grape.
“GRAPE!” Peanut Yelled. Grape was to scared to speak.
“WE ARE COMING FOR YOU!” They all shouted!
Grape’s sight started getting bright. Everything was fading.
Just before she was gone she heard Peanuts voice.
“GET THE IMPOS-“ He was cut off.

Author:  Alex [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Wow, this is getting weirder and weirder. Nice, can't wait to see the end :D!

Author:  valerio [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Oh
Wow
Sudden change of atmosphere. :o
Nicely done...
Ach! Got to wait till tomorrow? You are MEAN, Hopper! :(

Author:  Tiggy [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Amagad!

Author:  Hopper200456 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

...Mean... :cry:
I MIGHT give you an Update.
I want Chapter 3 to be long.
So...
You might get one.

Author:  Tiggy [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Take your time :3

Author:  Hopper200456 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Alex Wrote:
Nice, can't wait to see the end :D!

END?What END? MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Author:  Alex [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Well, you'll finish it sooner or later....

Author:  valerio [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 2:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Alex Wrote:
Well, you'll finish it sooner or later....


And we'll be waiting, Hopper.
Waiting for you...
...patiently...
...In the dark...
Hungry for update...

Author:  Tiggy [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 2:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

SERIOUSLY VALERIO <.< You creepy italian, you're like all over the place with creepy-stuff! AMAGAD

Author:  valerio [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 2:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

because I want updates.
I need them
Updates are gooooood...

Author:  Hopper200456 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 3:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

I now what you mean,Val.
:P
I will work on it as fast as I can.

Author:  valerio [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 3:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

thank you for your understanding.
You win 10 un-creepy points between an update and the other. :mrgreen:

Author:  fenning [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 4:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gone in 0.1 seconds Fanfic.

Iza very nicea! High five! (borat)

Anyways, please continue with this. It very interesting!

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