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Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes 
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Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:28 pm
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Post Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
There actually is an ‘Incorrect Quotes’ Blog on Tumblr, but for whatever reason the person running it hasn’t updated in a long time. So I figured, in the meantime, I could set up another ‘Incorrect Quotes’ thread here on the forum for funzies. Completely open to anyone who wants to add a quote, of course. Be sure to source when you can!
—-
Peanut: So remember when you told me NOT to burn down the house?
Grape: You burned down the house?!
Peanut: NO! I put the fire out almost immediately. This is a success story!
source:brooklyn99


Sun May 12, 2019 4:29 am
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
I didn't know about this kind of game. Do we make quotes that were never said but sound completely like something the characters would say?

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Sun May 12, 2019 5:19 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Silly Zealot Wrote:
I didn't know about this kind of game. Do we make quotes that were never said but sound completely like something the characters would say?


Yep, that’s exactly it. They can be quotes from pop culture, funny quotes you heard online, or just something you made up yourself.


Sun May 12, 2019 6:19 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Max: Why do I constantly feel like crap and waste my time doing nothing?

Max’s Brain: You have depression.

Max: Nah, that can’t be it. It’s gotta be something I ate.


Fri May 31, 2019 10:01 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
King: There’s a new feeling inside. It's a lightness. A sense that things will work out for the best.
Bailey: It's called happiness.
King: (In an angry, defensive voice) Whatever it is, I LIKE it!

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Fri May 31, 2019 10:16 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
King: My wife is too tall for me to kiss. What should I do?

Fox: Punch her in the stomach, then kiss her when she doubles over in pain.

Kevin: Tackle her!

Duchess: Dump her...

Sasha: Kick her in the shins!

Bailey: NO TO ALL OF THESE!! JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN!!


Mon Jun 03, 2019 10:04 am
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Max: “When I get stressed I do illegal things!”

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You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?


Mon Jun 03, 2019 10:33 am
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Jack: What Ferrari? I didn't steal a car.

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Mon Jun 03, 2019 4:05 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Gale: so, it doesn't have to be hunting season to get Deere on the stock exchange....?


Mon Jun 03, 2019 8:40 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
King: You're enjoying this. You just love to dance around questions and spring surprises when you know something the rest of us don't.
Kitsune: It's like a drug for us gods.

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I have an eBay! I sell Transformers and Power Rangers stuff there.

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?


Mon Jun 10, 2019 6:38 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Cerberus: "It was a promotion. Now I get to work with kids!"
Eudoant: "Mine, too. I get to work with low-lifes."


Mon Jun 10, 2019 6:55 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Pete: "Look, Cerberus, you have to treat a car like you treat a woman."
Cerberus: "…Go on."
Pete: "……No. I sense I made a mistake of some kind."

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Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:31 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Bino and Joey are listening to music...
Bino: Hey, what’s this from?
Joey: Oh, it’s from this Japanese band called Ikimono Gakari.
Bino: No, what’s it from?
Joey: ............................ Naruto.

source: ProZD


Thu Jun 20, 2019 3:39 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Craig: "I have decided to devote my entire mortal life to the betterment of all beings with whom I share this Terrestrial realm."

Draig: "and I'm gonna help!"

Li'l Dino- demon: "Me, too."


Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:56 am
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Dalas: There is no core breech imminent.
Lester: I know that.
Dalas: Good. Because I'm not sure what I'm even saying at this point.

Joey (mumbling to self): I can't believe he just got tricked into quoting that and didn't notice.

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Sat Jun 22, 2019 7:45 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Lester: Lester’s life lesson number one! The ruder you are, the more people will respect you. Why d'you think everyone listens to Bino?"
Joey: "Because he's in charge of the club?"
Lester: "Wrong! Because he’s a jerk to absolutely everyone. I hate him. But I kinda think he's amazing too. I get confused feelings."
Also;
King: "You know why you can't get a handle on me? Because I'm an ordinary person. I'm normal. I'm just a random Corgi who takes each day as it comes. I'm not particularly chatty, handsome or clever, but you know what? I get by. I manage. So don't dismiss me just because—unlike all your pals in that club—my personality isn't the product of a crippling psychological disorder."

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I have an eBay! I sell Transformers and Power Rangers stuff there.

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?


Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:35 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
You're right. Your personality is the result of a sucky childhood and an even suckier adulthood. :lol:

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Sun Jun 23, 2019 1:44 am
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Bino: Grape... Peanut... Where’s Sasha?!

Peanut: Promise you won’t be mad?

Bino: ... I promise.

Grape: We lost her.

Bino: Gh!? Ack?! You-!! *opens a lidded pot and screams into it*

Grape: I think he’s mad.

Bino: HOW DO YOU LOSE A WOMAN!?!

Peanut: ... You forget to cherish her.


Sun Jun 23, 2019 2:40 am
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Pretty much how Bino lost Sasha in the first place (though considering that Sasha was busy trying to throw herself at his brother, that isn't really that much of a loss.)

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Sun Jun 23, 2019 4:04 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
King: "Religion-wise, I don't so much lack faith as actively hate god."

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I have an eBay! I sell Transformers and Power Rangers stuff there.

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?


Sun Jun 23, 2019 4:15 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Legotron123 Wrote:
Lester: Lester’s life lesson number one! The ruder you are, the more people will respect you. Why d'you think everyone listens to Bino?"
Joey: "Because he's in charge of the club?"
Lester: "Wrong! Because he’s a jerk to absolutely everyone. I hate him. But I kinda think he's amazing too. I get confused feelings."
Also;
King: "You know why you can't get a handle on me? Because I'm an ordinary person. I'm normal. I'm just a random Corgi who takes each day as it comes. I'm not particularly chatty, handsome or clever, but you know what? I get by. I manage. So don't dismiss me just because—unlike all your pals in that club—my personality isn't the product of a crippling psychological disorder."


Dallas: "Sooooooo .... we're not gonna play "Sorry" after all?"


Sun Jun 23, 2019 5:03 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Marion: So I was at Target...
Falstaff: Stop bragging!

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I have an eBay! I sell Transformers and Power Rangers stuff there.

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?


Mon Jun 24, 2019 10:12 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
King: desperately praying to Bahamut
Bahamut: "Of course, when he's in trouble, he remembers I exist."

source: Noah's Ark. an incredibly weird animated take on the story.

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Thu Jun 27, 2019 12:30 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
King: I’m kinda cold.

Bailey: Oh, here babe. Take my jacket.

King: Aw, thanks hun.

Max: ... Hey Grape, I’m cold too.

Grape: Well dang Max, I can’t control the weather.

Peanut: Hmm... Hey Tarot, I’m a little cold.

Tarot: *looking up from her book* What? Why didn’t you say anything? *takes off her jacket and puts it on Peanut* I keep telling you to remember these things… *takes off scarf and wraps it around him* But, no, you have to be so forgetful… *steals a passing pet’s hat and puts it on Peanut* And now I have to take care of you again-


Fri Jun 28, 2019 2:00 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Jessica: "More tolerant? ... Me? .... I already tolerate YOU!"


Fri Jun 28, 2019 2:11 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Joey: "The back door's this way. No one make eye contact with anybody. Especially not you, Bino."
Bino: "Why especially not me?"
Joey: "Because you've got one of those faces."
Bino: "What's wrong with my face?!"
Joey: "It's basically a punch magnet."
Bino: "So rude! Fox, did you hear that!?"
Fox: "No. Was it about your face?"

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I have an eBay! I sell Transformers and Power Rangers stuff there.

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?


Mon Jul 01, 2019 9:03 am
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Keene: "The important thing about money, Breel, is you can always use it when you run out of cash."


Wed Jul 03, 2019 9:07 am
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
I can't believe they put sarge in a cone for going after Keene again.

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Wed Jul 03, 2019 10:01 am
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Grape: Heh, this coffee is so good, it’s like catnip! Ha! Right fellas?!

Keene: You would hear crickets chirping, but they were just so uncomfortable by how unfunny that was.

Grape: So what? I’m not funny?

Keene: No, I think you’re very funny! When you’re being sarcastic or you’re up on your high horse. Y’know, as long as you stay right in your wheelhouse.

Keene: *moving around the group* It’s no different for any of us. King is funniest when he’s being an anal retentive train wreck. Your boyfriend sells it with a cocky attitude.

Max: Well, y’know, I do what I do and I do what I do.

Keene: Tiger is amusing because, quite frankly, he’s insane.

Tiger: I made shoes for my rabbit.

Zach: Help me.

Keene: And Alice here... *gestures to Peanut* Well, he can turn a phrase. I’m assuming because I just called you Alice, you’re now imagining me as the maid from the Brady Bunch.

Keene: *dressed as Alice from the Brady Bunch* Am I right?

Peanut: *shrugging* He’s right.

Keene: Tarot believes in a higher power, that’s hilarious to me. Jessica hates everything. Sasha is walking, talking irony. Fox can’t get a date to save his life. And Zach is the town sad-sack.

Zack: I am?

Keene: Yes, you are.

Zach: Aw...

Keene: Me? I’m funny because I commit. C-O-M-M-I-T-T-T-T-T-T-T *pause for dramatic effect* T. I also do funny rants. Matter of fact, there’s only one guy in this entire dump who’s funny, no matter what he says.

Bino: Holy Christmas! Is this new collar made of wool?! I think my cakehole is getting heatstroke.

Keene: The point I’m trying to make is... *clasps hands in prayer* Please... Please, don’t tell anymore jokes!

Source: Scrubs


Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:50 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Bino: This is what being a great leader is all about. The ability to quickly make bold decisions when you have no idea what the other person is talking about.

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I have an eBay! I sell Transformers and Power Rangers stuff there.

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?


Sat Jul 06, 2019 2:42 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Bailey: "Remember that time you dared me to launch the go-kart off a cliff?"
King: "No, I said, 'Bailey, don't launch the go-kart off a cliff.' And you said, 'don't tell me what to do, King,' and then you launched the go-kart off a cliff."

Source: ProZD

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Thu Jul 11, 2019 12:00 am
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Max: Okay. Kiss, Marry, Kill. Me, Peanut and Res. Go.

Grape: Kiss Peanut, Marry you, Kill Bino.

Bino: I WASN’T EVEN ONE OF THE OPTIONS! WHAT THE-


Tue Jul 16, 2019 3:09 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Sabrina: Fido! PETA kidnapped Bino!

Fido: Again? How much do they want for him?

Sabrina: Eighty-five dollars.

Fido: That seems cheap...

Sabrina: It’s a good deal!

Fido: Do we have to pay for shipping?

Sabrina: Oh, twenty dollars shipping.

Fido: See, that’s where they get ya.

Bino: WILL ONE OF YOU IDIOTS JUST COME SAVE ME ALREADY!!


Thu Jul 18, 2019 1:55 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
*everyone playing Water Gun War*

Sasha: ......... Hello. It’s me.
Bailey: Are you... are you singing?
Sasha: I was wondering if after all these fights you would withdraw.
Bailey: Oh my god, you are singing! What the heck!
Sasha: To go over...
Bino: ... Sasha? What are you doing?
Sasha: Everything.
Bailey: She’s singing Bino, let her live.
Sasha: They say that time is supposed to heal you. But I require healing.
Jessica: COME TO THE FREAKING LEDGE THEN!!
Sasha: Hello...
Bailey: So... are you gonna take any shots or not, what’s happening?
Sasha: Can you hear me?
Bino: She’s completely off comms, so probably not.
Sasha: I’m here on the payload dreaming, about what we could have been.
Bino: Wait... Is this... Is this ADELE?!
Bailey: Oooooohmyyyyyygoooood. Thisishappening! ThisishappeningRIGHTNOW!
Sasha: When we we’re younger. Not brainwashed.
Bino: She isn’t.
Sasha: I literally do not remember how we were before. What are the lyrics?
Bailey: AHAHAHA!! SHE IS!!
Sasha: There’s such a difference...
Bino: Sasha, no, no, do not do this to me!
Sasha: Between us!
Bino: Please, as your kinda-sorta ex, I am begging you!
Bailey: AHAHAHAHAHA!!
Sasha: And seventy-five miles!!
Bino: SASHA, NO!! YOU’LL GIVE AWAY OUR POSITION!!
Bailey: GO, GIRL, GO!!!

Sasha: HELLOOO FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!!!!!!!!!!

—-

*meanwhile, at the other team*

Grape: .... Does anyone else hear Adele?



Source: Omahdon


Tue Jul 23, 2019 10:29 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Eudoant finally manages to escape Hell
Eudoant: gleefully "All the things that I have missed! The Black Plague! The Spanish Inquisition! The Brady Bunch Reunion!"

Source: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers The Movie

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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Tarot: Whoah boy, she's cracked, she's gone nuts. Dragon! *knocking* Dragon! Get a grip!

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"I don't think I've tried board games. are they tasty?"

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Tue Sep 10, 2019 9:32 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
King: what do you make of this, Peanut?
<hands over weather map>
Peanut: Well, I can make a hat or a broach or a pterodactyl...

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Tue Sep 10, 2019 9:55 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Fido: How big can your brother write ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME on the side of his treehouse before you get justifiably frightened?

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I have an eBay! I sell Transformers and Power Rangers stuff there.

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?


Tue Sep 10, 2019 10:01 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Bino: "Hey, girl, wanna 'Netflix and Chill'?"
Duchess: "How about 'HBO and NO'?
Duchess leaves
Bino: "....I was going to say something rude, but that was pretty good." :(

Cowbelly

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Wed Sep 11, 2019 11:24 pm
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Post Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes
Max: There's an old cat proverb that goes, "It's better to live one hour as a tiger than an entire lifetime as a worm."

Bino: There's an old dog proverb - "Whoever heard of a wormskin rug?"

Source: Red Dwarf


Sun Sep 15, 2019 2:56 pm
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