15 Crack-Pairings Challenge
Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 6:57 am
So, for literally no reason other than I was bored, I have decided to challenge myself into writing fifteen one-shot short stories involving crack-pairings.
Why?
I don’t know.
For added fun, the crack-pairings each one-shot will feature after this first one will be chosen by you guys.
Just take any random two characters and slam them together to see what happens.
Also, if one of the characters you picked is already in a canon relationship in the comic the one-shot will be slightly AU in that the canon pairing never got together.
For example: If a suggested crack-pairing we’re to feature King, the one-shot would take place in an alternate continuity where King and Bailey never got together.
Remember, these are supposed to be CRACK-pairings. They’re pairings that are completely random between two characters whom have little to no romantic interactions in the canon comic.
In short: This is meant to be stupid, light-hearted fun.
With that said, let’s begin…
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) MarvinXTarot
There are times when I just need to get out of the house, times when my ‘family’ becomes a little too much to bare.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family with all my heart. But between Zach getting harassed by the neighborhood ferals for being their messiah, Dad yelling at Tiger for… well… being Tiger.
And then there’s Tiger himself.
The less said the better.
I love my family but I think I’m being polite when I say they are freaking CRAZY!
So, yeah, sometimes I just need to get away from them every once in a while.
Dad was on ‘Usual Tirade #13: Stop spending my money, Tiger’, and Tiger was on ‘Usual Rebuttal #7: I am the pet. You are the caretaker. Stop messing with the natural order of things’. As they were going at it, I stepped out of my room having just consoled a weeping rabbit whom had awoken this morning to the sight of two raccoons hovering over his bed with a pair of scissors (Apparently they were going to take a tuft of his fur for a shrine of some sort).
I looked at my screaming Dad, then to my screaming brother, then to my crying other brother and decided to leave before I started screaming or crying.
Stepping out into the fresh, and quiet, air I suddenly realized that I had no real plan outside of ‘leave as quickly as possible’. Max was on a date with Grape so he’d be unavailable for a time. Fiddler and Keys didn’t really get along with me all that well on account of me saying I hated classical music one time and they have never let me live it down. Jasper was a fun guy, but he would probably just want to chase Jinx around all day. That could be fun for a few minutes but I feel like I would get tired of that rather quickly. There were the Bigglesworths… On second thought, I think I’d rather go back and play referee for Tiger and Dad.
The only other cat in the neighborhood I knew was Sabrina. She’s pretty cool I guess, I could probably go and see what she’s up to. If nothing else, it gives me something to do.
With this plan in mind, I set forth for Sabrina’s house. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever been inside her house before. Out of my immediate group of friends, Sabrina and I weren’t exactly ‘besties’. Most of the time we hang out is because we both have a friend in common: Max. Still, she seemed like an easy-going gal so I’m sure she wouldn’t mind humoring me if only for a few minutes.
After some time walking, I found myself standing in front of her. I knocked and heard a voice call out from inside. “Give me a second, I’ll be right there.” I heard a soft voice say.
Seconds passed before the door was opened by a yellow Pomeranian. I recognized her as Sabrina’s roommate Tarot. I knew even less about her than Sabrina but she always struck me as a little… weird. Course, after what I just came from I guess I shouldn’t judge.
“Hi, Tarot, is Sabrina home?” I asked simply.
She stared at me with a confused look before a flash of surprise took her face, as if she just remembered something.
“Oh, you must be the Chosen One of the Jyrian Prophecy.” She said before giving me a friendly smile. “Pleased to meet you.”
I wondered silently if Dad and Tiger were still arguing as I felt my eye twitch a little. However, before I could run away, Tarot grabbed me by my arm and pulled me inside the house.
“Okay” she said. “First things first: How much do you know of your own destiny?”
I looked at the Pomeranian incredulously. Destiny? Chosen One? Was I being mistaken for Zach or something?
“Tarot, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I just came by to see if Sabrina wanted to hang. That’s all!” I said becoming less and less sure of the little dog’s mental health.
Again, my home life may not have made be the best judge of character in this regard but still.
“Oh dear” She said, putting a finger to her lips. “Well, there is simply too much to go over right now. I will simply have to explain it as we go.”
Before I could ask a single question, Tarot booped me on the nose and then suddenly I was in a castle courtyard.
…….Hold on……. WHAT!?
I looked around and saw it wasn’t just a courtyard. Adjacent to a stone castle was a circular field with creatures of the most bizarre sort gathering at its edges.
Werewolves, mermaids, dragons, centaurs, fairies, all kinds of extraordinary creatures that, last time I checked, only existed in fairy tales.
“Whabba-Huzzah-WHAAAA!!!!???” Was pretty much the extent of my take on the situation.
Tarot merely looked around as though looking for someone in the crowd. “Hmm, I see Lord Drakthur has already expected us and has prepared to make our executions… quite public.”
“Tarot!? What the heck is going on?!” I practically screamed in her face. If she was at all perturbed by this she didn’t show it as she gave me the slightest smile. “Oh it’s nothing to worry about Marvin. This is an alternate dimension called Jyria that is connected to our world by what we call fairy tales. It is currently in dictatorship by a tyrannical black dragon by the name of Lord Drakthur. I already sent Sabrina here to see if there are any prophecies on how to deal with this, there usually are, but sad to say she was captured. She did manage to contact me and told me the Chosen Hero who would stop Drakthur would be the next person who asked me about her. And before you ask, we’ve actually seen prophecies that were even more conveniently specific.”
I, needless to say, was silent for a good long while. “Wh… What am I supposed to say to that?”
Tarot shrugged.
Before I could say anything else, the ground below me shuddered and broke apart as a gargantuan black dragon burst out of the ground.
It turned its sickly yellow eyes on Tarot and I as it started to sneer.
“Sorceress! You presume to take my throne from me! It matters not what ‘champions’ you throw at me, I will burn them all to ash!” Drakthur (I’m assuming) boasted.
I cleared my throat to try and get the gargantuan fire-breathing reptile’s attention.
“Um... excuse me mister… um… Drakthur was it?” I stammered as the dragon peered down at me. “Yes, hello, my name is Marvin, pleased to meet you. Um… To be perfectly honest I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing here. I actually don’t believe any of this is happening and that I’ve simply gone insane. So if you’ll please excuse me, I’m going to go admit myself to a mental hospital.”
Drakthur stared at me and I swear I saw a look of disappointment on his face… before he breathed fire on me.
Now the funny thing about being on fire is that you don’t really notice it at first unless you actually feel the flames burning you… which I didn’t. That was the first thing that I noticed was weird.
The second was that despite the flames being quite red as they were exhumed out of Drakthur’s mouth, they took on a more pinkish tinge as they reached me.
As the flames died down, I saw that everything was pink now. And then I noticed there was a bit of a distortion too, as if I was seeing the world through a pane of pink-tinted glass. And that’s exactly what was happening. I was inside a pink force field that had protected me from Drakthur’s flames.
Drakthur started laughing a deep boisterous laugh. Apparently barbecuing cats whom are slowly losing their hold on reality was a lot of fun. I’ll have to try it sometime and HOLY CRAP I ALMOST DIED!!!!!!!
As I started to hyperventilate on account of being set on fire, Drakthur began mocking Tarot once more. “You see sorceress. How can you expect your champion to defeat me when he requires your aid before the battle has even begun? He is but a weakling!”
Instead of humoring him, Tarot instead turned to me, taking my hand in hers. “He’s wrong you know.”
I managed to compose myself enough to look her in the eyes. “Wh-What?”
She gave me another of her soft smiles. “With everything you go through every day, the fact that you can still keep a calm head and accept it all with love shows a great strength.”
Her smile grew slightly larger. “You are strong Marvin.”
I felt my face grow a little hot as my hand instinctively held hers a bit tighter. But apparently Drakthur wasn’t done with us.
“Bah! Enough of this sorceress!” He said before reaching down and grabbing Tarot, who let out a slightly surprised “Oh dear.”
Drakthur held Tarot in front of his face as he laughed once more. “You will be joining your apprentice in my dungeons soon enough. You should have picked a stronger champion you fool!”
I felt my face grow even hotter, this time out of anger. This guy just didn’t know when to shut up! And now he was manhandling Tarot like she was just some object. I didn’t know what I was thinking but I picked up a rock and held it tightly.
“Hey ugly!” I yelled before winding my arm back. “I am strong!” and I hurled the rock with all my might… and missed completely.
The rock didn’t even go near the black dragon as it whizzed past Drakthur and hit a poor centaur with a crossbow on the head. With a yelp of pain, the centaur accidentally fired a bolt from his crossbow… which just barely missed Drakthur’s neck. Everybody watched in stunned silence as the bolt travelled in an arc towards the castle before it hit and shattered an oil lantern on the castle’s outer wall.
The burning oil dripped down onto a large crate of fireworks that just so happened to be there, a lick of flames from the oil actually managed to light one of the fireworks wicks. In mere seconds, the resulting explosion caused major structural damage to the tower that was adjacent to the crate of fireworks causing it to tumble and fall right on Drakthur’s head.
With a pained groan, the dark dragon fell in a heap in front of his subjects. One fairy walked up to his massive paw and picked it up before letting it fall back down to the ground.
“The tyrant dragon has been defeated!” He announced.
“Huzzah!” All the other creatures cheered.
The various fantasy people cheered my name again and again as Tarot dragged herself out of Drakthur’s claw. She walked over to me with a proud look on her face.
“See, I told you that you could do it.” She said before giving me a kiss on the cheek.
I must have had quite the expression because she gave a quick cute giggle afterword.
Did I just say cute?
“Don’t worry.” She said. “Sabrina and I will take care of the actual cleanup. You can go ahead and wake up.” She said before booping me on the nose again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I opened my eyes and saw that I was in my bed back in my house.
“Unh… weird dream.” I put my palm to my head and felt paper crinkling against. I looked up and saw a piece of paper was stuck to my forehead. Pulling it off, I saw that it had a phone-number on it along with a message.
Let me know if you want to overthrow anymore evil overlords. I know a lot.
<3 Tarot
Almost as soon as I finished reading the note, I heard Zach screaming in his room. I looked out the window and saw a duo of raccoons run into the forest. Already Dad was yelling Tiger’s name no doubt believing he was the cause for Zach’s strife.
My family is as crazy as always. I smiled as I thought that maybe a little craziness isn’t so bad.
Why?
I don’t know.
For added fun, the crack-pairings each one-shot will feature after this first one will be chosen by you guys.
Just take any random two characters and slam them together to see what happens.
Also, if one of the characters you picked is already in a canon relationship in the comic the one-shot will be slightly AU in that the canon pairing never got together.
For example: If a suggested crack-pairing we’re to feature King, the one-shot would take place in an alternate continuity where King and Bailey never got together.
Remember, these are supposed to be CRACK-pairings. They’re pairings that are completely random between two characters whom have little to no romantic interactions in the canon comic.
In short: This is meant to be stupid, light-hearted fun.
With that said, let’s begin…
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) MarvinXTarot
There are times when I just need to get out of the house, times when my ‘family’ becomes a little too much to bare.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family with all my heart. But between Zach getting harassed by the neighborhood ferals for being their messiah, Dad yelling at Tiger for… well… being Tiger.
And then there’s Tiger himself.
The less said the better.
I love my family but I think I’m being polite when I say they are freaking CRAZY!
So, yeah, sometimes I just need to get away from them every once in a while.
Dad was on ‘Usual Tirade #13: Stop spending my money, Tiger’, and Tiger was on ‘Usual Rebuttal #7: I am the pet. You are the caretaker. Stop messing with the natural order of things’. As they were going at it, I stepped out of my room having just consoled a weeping rabbit whom had awoken this morning to the sight of two raccoons hovering over his bed with a pair of scissors (Apparently they were going to take a tuft of his fur for a shrine of some sort).
I looked at my screaming Dad, then to my screaming brother, then to my crying other brother and decided to leave before I started screaming or crying.
Stepping out into the fresh, and quiet, air I suddenly realized that I had no real plan outside of ‘leave as quickly as possible’. Max was on a date with Grape so he’d be unavailable for a time. Fiddler and Keys didn’t really get along with me all that well on account of me saying I hated classical music one time and they have never let me live it down. Jasper was a fun guy, but he would probably just want to chase Jinx around all day. That could be fun for a few minutes but I feel like I would get tired of that rather quickly. There were the Bigglesworths… On second thought, I think I’d rather go back and play referee for Tiger and Dad.
The only other cat in the neighborhood I knew was Sabrina. She’s pretty cool I guess, I could probably go and see what she’s up to. If nothing else, it gives me something to do.
With this plan in mind, I set forth for Sabrina’s house. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever been inside her house before. Out of my immediate group of friends, Sabrina and I weren’t exactly ‘besties’. Most of the time we hang out is because we both have a friend in common: Max. Still, she seemed like an easy-going gal so I’m sure she wouldn’t mind humoring me if only for a few minutes.
After some time walking, I found myself standing in front of her. I knocked and heard a voice call out from inside. “Give me a second, I’ll be right there.” I heard a soft voice say.
Seconds passed before the door was opened by a yellow Pomeranian. I recognized her as Sabrina’s roommate Tarot. I knew even less about her than Sabrina but she always struck me as a little… weird. Course, after what I just came from I guess I shouldn’t judge.
“Hi, Tarot, is Sabrina home?” I asked simply.
She stared at me with a confused look before a flash of surprise took her face, as if she just remembered something.
“Oh, you must be the Chosen One of the Jyrian Prophecy.” She said before giving me a friendly smile. “Pleased to meet you.”
I wondered silently if Dad and Tiger were still arguing as I felt my eye twitch a little. However, before I could run away, Tarot grabbed me by my arm and pulled me inside the house.
“Okay” she said. “First things first: How much do you know of your own destiny?”
I looked at the Pomeranian incredulously. Destiny? Chosen One? Was I being mistaken for Zach or something?
“Tarot, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I just came by to see if Sabrina wanted to hang. That’s all!” I said becoming less and less sure of the little dog’s mental health.
Again, my home life may not have made be the best judge of character in this regard but still.
“Oh dear” She said, putting a finger to her lips. “Well, there is simply too much to go over right now. I will simply have to explain it as we go.”
Before I could ask a single question, Tarot booped me on the nose and then suddenly I was in a castle courtyard.
…….Hold on……. WHAT!?
I looked around and saw it wasn’t just a courtyard. Adjacent to a stone castle was a circular field with creatures of the most bizarre sort gathering at its edges.
Werewolves, mermaids, dragons, centaurs, fairies, all kinds of extraordinary creatures that, last time I checked, only existed in fairy tales.
“Whabba-Huzzah-WHAAAA!!!!???” Was pretty much the extent of my take on the situation.
Tarot merely looked around as though looking for someone in the crowd. “Hmm, I see Lord Drakthur has already expected us and has prepared to make our executions… quite public.”
“Tarot!? What the heck is going on?!” I practically screamed in her face. If she was at all perturbed by this she didn’t show it as she gave me the slightest smile. “Oh it’s nothing to worry about Marvin. This is an alternate dimension called Jyria that is connected to our world by what we call fairy tales. It is currently in dictatorship by a tyrannical black dragon by the name of Lord Drakthur. I already sent Sabrina here to see if there are any prophecies on how to deal with this, there usually are, but sad to say she was captured. She did manage to contact me and told me the Chosen Hero who would stop Drakthur would be the next person who asked me about her. And before you ask, we’ve actually seen prophecies that were even more conveniently specific.”
I, needless to say, was silent for a good long while. “Wh… What am I supposed to say to that?”
Tarot shrugged.
Before I could say anything else, the ground below me shuddered and broke apart as a gargantuan black dragon burst out of the ground.
It turned its sickly yellow eyes on Tarot and I as it started to sneer.
“Sorceress! You presume to take my throne from me! It matters not what ‘champions’ you throw at me, I will burn them all to ash!” Drakthur (I’m assuming) boasted.
I cleared my throat to try and get the gargantuan fire-breathing reptile’s attention.
“Um... excuse me mister… um… Drakthur was it?” I stammered as the dragon peered down at me. “Yes, hello, my name is Marvin, pleased to meet you. Um… To be perfectly honest I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing here. I actually don’t believe any of this is happening and that I’ve simply gone insane. So if you’ll please excuse me, I’m going to go admit myself to a mental hospital.”
Drakthur stared at me and I swear I saw a look of disappointment on his face… before he breathed fire on me.
Now the funny thing about being on fire is that you don’t really notice it at first unless you actually feel the flames burning you… which I didn’t. That was the first thing that I noticed was weird.
The second was that despite the flames being quite red as they were exhumed out of Drakthur’s mouth, they took on a more pinkish tinge as they reached me.
As the flames died down, I saw that everything was pink now. And then I noticed there was a bit of a distortion too, as if I was seeing the world through a pane of pink-tinted glass. And that’s exactly what was happening. I was inside a pink force field that had protected me from Drakthur’s flames.
Drakthur started laughing a deep boisterous laugh. Apparently barbecuing cats whom are slowly losing their hold on reality was a lot of fun. I’ll have to try it sometime and HOLY CRAP I ALMOST DIED!!!!!!!
As I started to hyperventilate on account of being set on fire, Drakthur began mocking Tarot once more. “You see sorceress. How can you expect your champion to defeat me when he requires your aid before the battle has even begun? He is but a weakling!”
Instead of humoring him, Tarot instead turned to me, taking my hand in hers. “He’s wrong you know.”
I managed to compose myself enough to look her in the eyes. “Wh-What?”
She gave me another of her soft smiles. “With everything you go through every day, the fact that you can still keep a calm head and accept it all with love shows a great strength.”
Her smile grew slightly larger. “You are strong Marvin.”
I felt my face grow a little hot as my hand instinctively held hers a bit tighter. But apparently Drakthur wasn’t done with us.
“Bah! Enough of this sorceress!” He said before reaching down and grabbing Tarot, who let out a slightly surprised “Oh dear.”
Drakthur held Tarot in front of his face as he laughed once more. “You will be joining your apprentice in my dungeons soon enough. You should have picked a stronger champion you fool!”
I felt my face grow even hotter, this time out of anger. This guy just didn’t know when to shut up! And now he was manhandling Tarot like she was just some object. I didn’t know what I was thinking but I picked up a rock and held it tightly.
“Hey ugly!” I yelled before winding my arm back. “I am strong!” and I hurled the rock with all my might… and missed completely.
The rock didn’t even go near the black dragon as it whizzed past Drakthur and hit a poor centaur with a crossbow on the head. With a yelp of pain, the centaur accidentally fired a bolt from his crossbow… which just barely missed Drakthur’s neck. Everybody watched in stunned silence as the bolt travelled in an arc towards the castle before it hit and shattered an oil lantern on the castle’s outer wall.
The burning oil dripped down onto a large crate of fireworks that just so happened to be there, a lick of flames from the oil actually managed to light one of the fireworks wicks. In mere seconds, the resulting explosion caused major structural damage to the tower that was adjacent to the crate of fireworks causing it to tumble and fall right on Drakthur’s head.
With a pained groan, the dark dragon fell in a heap in front of his subjects. One fairy walked up to his massive paw and picked it up before letting it fall back down to the ground.
“The tyrant dragon has been defeated!” He announced.
“Huzzah!” All the other creatures cheered.
The various fantasy people cheered my name again and again as Tarot dragged herself out of Drakthur’s claw. She walked over to me with a proud look on her face.
“See, I told you that you could do it.” She said before giving me a kiss on the cheek.
I must have had quite the expression because she gave a quick cute giggle afterword.
Did I just say cute?
“Don’t worry.” She said. “Sabrina and I will take care of the actual cleanup. You can go ahead and wake up.” She said before booping me on the nose again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I opened my eyes and saw that I was in my bed back in my house.
“Unh… weird dream.” I put my palm to my head and felt paper crinkling against. I looked up and saw a piece of paper was stuck to my forehead. Pulling it off, I saw that it had a phone-number on it along with a message.
Let me know if you want to overthrow anymore evil overlords. I know a lot.
<3 Tarot
Almost as soon as I finished reading the note, I heard Zach screaming in his room. I looked out the window and saw a duo of raccoons run into the forest. Already Dad was yelling Tiger’s name no doubt believing he was the cause for Zach’s strife.
My family is as crazy as always. I smiled as I thought that maybe a little craziness isn’t so bad.
)
(Please, make it happen!)
)