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An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories 
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Post An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
An Experiment
Introduction:


Grape sat on the couch, staring at the screen of her laptop. She was in the middle of writing her twenty-fourth sequel to her smash hit, unofficial prequel to the Pridelands series of novels, and she realized that she was bored. This was scary. She'd never been bored at her own work before.

How can I be bored? Grape thought. Romantic fiction about Lord Parnok's perfect abs is all I've ever cared about! You don't write two dozen fan novels over the same subject and then suddenly just get bored writing it. Do you?

Grape closed her eyes, mulling through her options, some of which were inappropriate to mention in the company of children, but very appropriate to mention in the company of a typical Pridelands fan. Then, she made a decision.

What she had to do was branch out, and conquer new literary fields. The idea was so perfect, she could picture it. She would become the Leonardo da Vinci of words - a savant, a genius ahead of her time. Authors and poets around the world would gaze upon her books, and bow down in awe. J.K. Rowling would cry herself to sleep in shame after reading a mere footnote, penned by the illustrious Grape Jelly Sandwich. Statues would be erected. Planets would be named in honor of her work. The human and animal races, moved by Grape's prose, would collectively band together under world peace and name their new nation 'Grapesonia'.

Grape knew she could do it. It was in her bones, her blood, her very soul. All she had to do was try. She leaned forward on the couch, and set her fingers on the laptop keyboard. Before she could even start, however, she had to ask herself a question:

What do I write?

-----

Story 1: Trouble on the Waterfront
(Suggested by Gren)
Chapter 1: The Client
Chapter 2: The Bust
Chapter 3: Connections
Chapter 4: Dockside Blues

Story 2: The Babylon Incident
(Suggested by Legotron123 and hyperfox)
Introduction: Babylon Sinking


_________________

It's been four months since I've even visited this forum. I'd grown disillusioned with my writing, and lost a deal of interest in the comic itself. Now, though, I think I'm ready to try something different.

Give me a genre, theme, or topic, and I'll try to create a story that matches your suggestion. It could end up as anything from a one-off to a whole series, depending on how interested I am in what you give me.
However:

Rollofthedice wrote:
For future reference: Romantic stories regarding any characters are going to be a low priority for me. I'd prefer for people to think up imaginative genres/topics/scenarios. If anyone asks for a PG and allowed pairing along with a cool idea, then sure I'll do my best to work it in, but it won't be the focus of whatever I try to do.


Be as general or specific as you want, but I have some guidelines:

1. I'm not going to be adding any characters not from Housepets!, so don't tell me to turn Severus Snape into a catnip dealer or something

2. Only canon pairings, and I'd rather not have a story that revolves around one either. (this bears repeating)

3. Nothing creepy, and try not to be overly specific. For example:

-'Tolkienesque, but with Rufus the farm dog as Gandalf' is fine, if maybe a bit boring.

-'Lady Chatterley's Lover, with Tiger as Lady Chatterly' is definitely not appropriate.

-'Lady Chatterley's Lover with elements from House of Leaves, set in ancient Mongolia, with Tiger as Lady Chatterly except Tiger's both a literal and metaphorical tiger who wears a bolo tie and tapdances into the hearts and bedrooms of working-class unreliable narrators', is terrifying and I feel unclean for even thinking it.

Finally - most, if not all of the stories will be as close to humorous as I can manage. However, if you want to suggest something dramatic, feel free.

_________________
Reminiscence: A Tale of Dreams - Complete
An Experiment - Ongoing: Story 2, 'The Babylon Incident', in progress!
Tired/Eternity/Broadsides: 'I did not have literary relations with those fanfics'

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Last edited by Rollofthedice on Sun Jul 07, 2013 12:07 pm, edited 6 times in total.



Sat Jun 29, 2013 12:29 am
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Post Re: An Experiment
I think this is a cool idea! I hope you go through with this project.
You shouldn't feel disapointed of your writing, what really matters is to convey an idea and above all have fun doing it.

After seen the introduction, I'm not sure how related has to be the story with Grape, but just leave you my idea:

Genre: Thriller / Mystery. Several crimes have happened and the protagonists are involved and must figure out who or what is behind this.
Of course there's no need of it to be excessively dramatic, you can add comedy occasionally to lighten a little the plot if it turns heavy going.
I'd like to keep the story as realistic as possible, but of course if you want to add a supernatural element I would not bother.
About pairings, I really don't care. You can do whatever you want in this matter. However, if you're going to add this, I would like to see at least a bit of tension between a couple at some point.
I haven't thought anything so I can't be more specific. I only going to say that I would like the story to involve some of my favorite characters (Peanut, Fido, Maxwell and Sabrina)

I hope you like my idea (or at least can be useful) :)

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Sat Jun 29, 2013 11:20 am
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Post Re: An Experiment
Man, I've only written a little bit, and I'm already enjoying myself.

An Experiment
Story 1: Trouble on the Waterfront
Chapter 1: The Client


Smoke from the seaside factories of Babylon City was drifting into the sky, as black as my mood. No cases had been coming in for a month, which was an achievement in a place where the murderers were more humanitarian than the police who caught them. The bills for my rented office were piling up, and my landlord had been on my case for a week. If I couldn't get a gig soon, I would be running a private eye service in a cardboard box just between Fourth and Fifth Avenue, helping hobos find their lost socks.

Fortunately for my increasingly depressed emotional state, fate intervened. On a smoggy February day, when I had long run out of hope and catnip, a client kicked open the door that I had reinforced five months back. On a pure reflex, I grabbed the revolver that I kept in my trenchcoat, and aimed it at the entrance. I would have fired, had my jaw not dropped onto my desk.

It'd been years since I'd seen a beautiful female cat - the city changed everyone, guy and gal, in more ugly ways than one - but I'd never seen anybody able to pull off a fedora before. She managed to make it work, just as she was working my hormones. Her eyes were a bright, piercing yellow, and her fur was purple and white.

"Put your gun back in your pocket, Max," She said, even though I'd never seen her before and certainly had never given her my name. She must've looked it up in the phone book. "It's not like you look happy to see me." My brain rewired itself.

"You could've just knocked," I said, as I tried to be annoyed. The visitor shrugged. I sighed, and put my firearm on the desk. "Come in." She did, sitting on my visitor's chair and putting her feet up, hitting my name plate in the process. I winced; that plate was the only truly professional part of my work. It fell, to join the many investigative manuals and textbooks strewn all over the floor.

"What's your name, ma'am?" I asked.

"Call me Ms. Sandwich," She said. "My cousin's been kidnapped. I don't know where he is, but for five thousand dollars, I'm sure you can find out."

I would've shot my grandmother for five thousand dollars. I leaned forward in my chair.

"What's his name?"

"Peanut Butter. My family has a twisted sense of humor," Ms. Sandwich said. I sympathized all too well. A two-bit thief I used to routinely bribe for information, Bean Dip Casserole, was put in the slammer for stealing a woman's purse. A confrontation with a Chartreaux left him crippled for life.

"Are there any clues Peanut left that might tell us his whereabouts?" I asked.

"You tell me," Ms. Sandwich said. "He'd run into some financial troubles last month, and stayed with me in a guest room while he worked to pay off some debtors. Here's my address." She threw a piece of paper on the desk. I glanced at it: 908 Klaxon Road. "Come by anytime you like."

She left. I attempted to still my beating heart, and for the sake of politeness, waited half an hour before calling a taxi.

___________


Her house was nice, but I'd seen better. It had brick walls coated with plaster, a chimney and an attic. Everything inside was kept tidy, and a few impressionist paintings and African vases added character to what would've otherwise been a drab place. I was lead upstairs by a particularly quiet housekeeper, a cat with gray eyes, gray fur and a gray spirit.

The attic was the guest room. Ms. Sandwich was there, leaning back on the wall opposite the entrance. She was staring off into the distance. I coughed, and her eyes snapped to me.

"Let me know if you find anything," She said, and left the room. I took a look around. There was a bed to the right of the door, clean and with the sheets tucked in. A desk was next to its foot on the right wall, containing nothing but a computer on idle and a few CDs. Next to that, a bookshelf. I walked over to the desk and took a look at the discs. All but one was music. The other had some of that strange, Latinized Japanese on the front of it, with the acronym 'OVA' in parenthesis. No dice. I frowned and woke up the computer. Nothing there, either, though his Facebook page was open. I blinked at the photo. It was a dog, with brown fur. Either he was adopted, he wasn't really Ms. Sandwich's cousin, or I paid very little attention in my high school biology class.

Frustrated, I took a look at the bookshelf. It was filled with Pridelands novels. For the first time, I felt a grudging stab of respect for the kidnapped victim. I walked out the room and went downstairs.

"Nothing incriminating," I said. Ms. Sandwich was on a recliner, watching the news channel on her television, and she nodded. "How did you find out he was kidnapped?" I asked.

"He wasn't in his room when I woke up yesterday morning," Ms. Sandwich said. "And soon after, I received a phone call."

She didn't continue. "And?"

She blinked, and swallowed. "Someone on the other line - a male, I think, maybe a dog - said for me to leave a quarter of a million dollars at a warehouse near the waterfront, before the end of the week."

"Ma'am, you're not being very descriptive," I said. "Where did he tell you to leave the money?"

"All he said was that it was right next to the pier, and that I would know it when I saw it," Ms. Sandwich said. She turned to look at me, and for the first time I saw fear in her eyes. "Please, detective, get Peanut back for me."

I was never good at comforting people. I thanked her for her time, left, and decided to walk to the pier. It seemed like I was going to have to scope out a warehouse that could potentially be filled with dangerous criminals. First, though, I needed some time to think.

_________________
Reminiscence: A Tale of Dreams - Complete
An Experiment - Ongoing: Story 2, 'The Babylon Incident', in progress!
Tired/Eternity/Broadsides: 'I did not have literary relations with those fanfics'

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Sat Jun 29, 2013 6:47 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment
A very nice noir story! I always did enjoy a good detective story~

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Sat Jun 29, 2013 9:38 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment
In a standard, 5.25'' x 8'' paperback format, with size 12 Minion Pro font, this chapter is a bit over five pages. On my LCD monitor, it's exactly one. Thanks, technology. :roll:

An Experiment
Story 1: Trouble on the Waterfront
Chapter 2: The Bust


The Babylon Dockland is a beautiful place, once you discount the smog, thieves, muggers, killers, drug hideouts, and architecturally unsound factories. To be frank: It was my element. I'd spent my childhood near the piers, selling 'nip to the masses of orphans that crowded the docks like overweight dogs crowding a Philadelphia cheesesteak. I knew every nook and cranny there, every poor double-crosser desperate for cash in a world where money was more important than lives.

I stood next to Jacobson's Pier (the smallest in the country, unfortunately for Jacobson), and breathed into the heady scent of rotting fish and depravity - home sweet home. No matter how much time you spend in the Dockland, you never see, hear, or smell everything. I noticed an old cat beating a robber away from her purse, with one of those canes that have a sword inside them. I could've bought some roadside popcorn and enjoyed the terrified screams, but I didn't. I had a job to do, dang it, and nothing was going to stop me.

Instead, I went to see an old contact. Joey 'Two-Bit' Byron, Newspaper dealer and professional snitch, had eyes on the back of his head and ears that could hear a rat from a mile away, particularly if female (though I won't tell you how I knew that). We grew up together, and while I was able to move on to greener pastures, Joey would suffocate in the city proper like a fish out of water. The Dockland had taken him, and there was nothing he could do to fight it.

I found him standing on the corner of Robinson and Ducroix, a block away from Mickey's. It was a good spot; Mickey's was the most popular pub around, and every sailor fresh off the boats liked a newspaper. Joey noticed me walking toward him, and grinned.

"Hey, mister!" He said. "You wanna buy a newspaper? Ten cents, or your money back!"

I tossed him a quarter. "Take my money, and save a laugh over the funnies for me." I sidled over to Joey, and muttered, "I need a tip, Two-Bit."

"Yeah?" Joey asked.

"Has anything weird been going on in the warehouses near the piers lately? Any smuggling?"

Joey furrowed his brow, and my heart sank before he even said anything. "Nope, nothing," he said. "I mean, you get your odd murder, but nothing really impressive."

"Any within the last few days?"

"Nope," Joey said. I sighed. There went my hopes of an easy find.

"Thanks, Joey," I said, throwing him another quarter. "See you around."

I walked back to the waterfront, my thoughts heavy on my mind. I had no leads, and with the dozens of storehouses within a stone's throw, it would take weeks to search them all for a single kidnapped dog. I thought about giving up, telling Ms. Sandwich to leave it to the police or just buy a big loan, but then I remembered the bills for my office, and what I could get for five grand.

Frustrated, I paced around the docks, hoping the scenery would lighten my mood. It didn't. It had been a while since I'd spent a while in the Dockside streets, and my lungs began to get irritated from the smog. Alley dogs seemed to stare at me from alleyway shadows, with hunger and greed in their eyes. An emaciated catnip junkie grabbed at my trenchcoat with one hand, and waved around a jar of Peter Pan with the other-

I stopped, grabbed the cat, and threw him up against the warehouse wall in front of me.

"Who told you to camp out here, you washed up punk?" I growled. The cat stared at me, wide eyed, not speaking. I felt a momentary stab of shame. Was this what I had become, a bitter and angry private eye harassing addicts over peanut butter? I dropped the cat, but I couldn't ignore the lead, no matter how shaky it was. I went around to the side of the warehouse.

There were loading bay entrances, shut and rusty with disuse. A door was to their left. My feet pounded over, and I jiggled the handle. It was locked, of course. I had some lockpicks in one of my many trenchcoat pockets, but I was impatient and the door looked flimsy. I kicked it open, and took some tentative steps inside.

All around me were bags and bags of catnip. Behind them, I could see the glimpses of cans, illuminated by clinical white lighting. The smell was overpowering. There were no criminals for me to take down, no kidnapped dogs to rescue. Just me, and enough illicit substances to make my nose bleed.

I heard the sound of a gun being cocked.

"Freeze, and put your hands behind your head!" A voice yelled. My blood ran cold. "This is the police!"

_________________
Reminiscence: A Tale of Dreams - Complete
An Experiment - Ongoing: Story 2, 'The Babylon Incident', in progress!
Tired/Eternity/Broadsides: 'I did not have literary relations with those fanfics'

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Sun Jun 30, 2013 4:42 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment
I bet he knows the cop.....

Also, this seems like Max's milieu.

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Sun Jun 30, 2013 8:30 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment
Wow, this is so great! Two chapters and I'm already hooked on the story! Excelent job, sir.

Hehe, I think this role fits perfectly on Max. And you can tell easily that this was written by Grape when you read that Maxwell recognizes her inmediately as a female by her noticeable beauty. :lol:

I'm surprised that Joey is very sociable here when we know that he tends to be marginalized in the comic. :o

I wonder if there's a reason why Peanut and Grape are cousins in this story, because it would have more sense if they were brother and sister. However, I'll be waiting to see if there's an explanation in further chapters.

Keep it up, please. :D

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Mon Jul 01, 2013 3:13 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment
Hmmmmmmmmmmm, the junkie was holding peanut butter.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........

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Mon Jul 01, 2013 5:38 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment
Gren wrote:
Wow, this is so great! Two chapters and I'm already hooked on the story! Excelent job, sir.

Hehe, I think this role fits perfectly on Max. And you can tell easily that this was written by Grape when you read that Maxwell recognizes her inmediately as a female by her noticeable beauty. :lol:

I'm surprised that Joey is very sociable here when we know that he tends to be marginalized in the comic. :o

I wonder if there's a reason why Peanut and Grape are cousins in this story, because it would have more sense if they were brother and sister. However, I'll be waiting to see if there's an explanation in further chapters.

Keep it up, please. :D


I'm really glad you like it, because I seriously can't remember the last time I've had so much fun writing a story of any kind, fanfic or otherwise. If you have any criticisms, feel free to post or PM me if you want.

Also, editor's note: Most of the last names in these stories will be made up, to fit the setting - so nobody get mad at me for non-canon surnames, please. :roll:

An Experiment
Story 1: Trouble on the Waterfront
Chapter 3: Connections


I'd been an idiot, plain and simple. What kind of person busts into a Dockside warehouse without taking any precautions? I was lucky there'd just been drugs and a cop, rather than tripwire explosives. Regardless, I was in trouble. I was about to be arrested for illicit storage, and my general avoidance of the police force meant I had no strings to pull that would get me out from behind bars. Getting arrested wasn't an option, but neither did I like to get shot for resisting.

So, I turned, and with my hands up, roundhouse kicked the cop in the face. He went down like a bag of Babylon coal, and I took the opportunity to glance at his nametag - 'F. Soriani'. The name rung a bell. The dog was a newcomer to the BCPD, and had a developing reputation for frequent promotions and a rock-hard sense of justice. I knew better. In Babylon City, cops were bribe-taking, backstabbing, greedy pigs, and the chances of Soriani being an exception was slim to none.

I hoped he hadn't seen my face, or that the kick had knocked some of his memory loose. Assaulting a police officer comes with five years minimum of hard time, and while Soriani had no evidence, my life could be very difficult if he wanted it to be.

I decided to take a quick look around the warehouse before I left. The drugs were unmarked, but upon sampling some catnip, I found it fresh. Stuffing some in my trenchcoat, I jogged to the back, to the cans stacked there. I opened one, and the fizz nearly flowed out onto my arms. I stuck a finger in and tasted it. Orange soda, of course. It hadn't been there long.

I left the building the way I came, and called a taxi back to my office, sifting over the few facts I had. Nothing was making sense. Somebody had been trying to frame me, but why with only one cop? It would've been so much easier to bribe an official, and arrest me at my home. Metric tons of drugs wouldn't have even had to factor into it.

I wondered: Was I looking at this from the wrong direction? Maybe Ms. Sandwich was meant to be the intended victim. Peanut's kidnapper probably wouldn't have expected Ms. Sandwich to evade police custody. Still, the method behind the crime was just as overkill.

At least I had an idea as to the suspect. Someone with ties to the black market, and an extensive grudge against Ms. Sandwich or her family. Nobody I knew fit that bill. If I was going to get anywhere, I would have to get more creative with my information gathering.

When I had gotten to my office, I dug through the piles of books on the floor and found a phonebook from two years back. I called every listed loan dealer in Babylon City, and inquired as to the status of a 'Peanut Sandwich'. Nothing. I was getting tired of nothing. Peanut must have been lying to Ms. Sandwich about his finances, or at least had owed money to someone shadier than your average shark.

All the signs pointed to a suspect involved with the criminal underworld, unfortunately for me. If there's one thing I dislike more than police, it's the mob.

I called the B&F Canning and Fishery Supply Service. It was not a number on the yellow pages, and neither was the company located anywhere, but everyone in Babylon City who deals with criminals knows that you call it if you want something done.

"Hello, this is B&F. How may I help you?" said a female voice on the other end of the line, devoid of an accent and with a ghost of a pleasant tone.

"I want a meeting at Mickey's, an hour from now," I said. "Tell them that Maxwell's got a favor to cash in."

"Excuse me, sir, but I don't believe I understand-"

"The password's 'Chameleon'." I hung up the phone. Taking my revolver from my desk, I walked out of the office.

_____________________


If there's one thing to be said about Mafia enterprises, it's that they're good at what they do. Mickey's might have been a front for animal trafficking and gun smuggling (the rumors never seemed to materialize into fact), but the broiled salmon was the best in Babylon City. The building was tasteful and well decorated. Curtains held back most of the natural light, to make way for dimmed lamps. Realisitic portraits of the restaraunt's past owners lined the walls. I was the only one not wearing a suit, and was given a few disapproving looks as I sat down at the 'special' table.

In front of me was Bino Dovere and Fox Marion, the two crime bosses of the Dockside. Having entered criminal life as successful insurance fraudsters, a couple of bribes and well-paid hitmen allowed them to move in on the hotly contested waterfront factories. There were stronger mob bosses than them in the city, but not many. They were also my only shot to findng Peanut.

A year back, I had helped Fox provide protection for one of his lackeys following a not-quite-successful inroad into Babylon City proper. Apparently, he hadn't forgotten about it. He grinned at me, his teeth glinting in the light, and my insides churned. There's something about a friendly mob boss that's impossible to get used to.

Bino didn't even look at me, instead tearing into an extra-raw steak. Suddenly, I lost my appetite.

"Mr. Marion," I said, shaking my head at the waitress who arrived to serve me. "I have a client whose cousin's been kidnapped. At least, it might be her cousin. I'm still kind of confused about that."

"I'd forgotten you weren't one for pleasantries," Fox said, leaning forward in his chair. "Give me the specifics."

I gave him the run-down on the day's events. His face darkened when I got to the debacle in the warehouse.

"That's one of our stashes," He said. "I pay the cops a fortune to forget about it!" He banged a fist on the table. I jumped, but only a little bit. "Believe you me," growled Fox, "I'll find your idiot kidnapper, and kill him myself!"

Ever tried making small talk with a dog that tells you he's going to murder someone? I decided not to try, and left the restaraunt without ordering anything.

_______________________


Babylon City never sleeps, and that goes for its inhabitants. It was starting to rain outside; thunder was booming into the cheap walls of my office. I sat in my chair, thinking about the case and the lovely Ms. Sandwich. Something was missing, and I didn't know what. I stared up at the ceiling, smoking my hand-rolled catnip cigarette. I blew a thin grey ring at my cheap office fan, and watched it get blown to bits by the circulating air.

I blinked. Everything came together. I grabbed my trenchcoat off of the clotheshook to the left of the desk, and ran for the door.

As I opened it, I felt a burst of pain on the right side of my skull. The world went black.

_________________
Reminiscence: A Tale of Dreams - Complete
An Experiment - Ongoing: Story 2, 'The Babylon Incident', in progress!
Tired/Eternity/Broadsides: 'I did not have literary relations with those fanfics'

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Mon Jul 01, 2013 10:07 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment
I'm not sure if your still taking story ideas, but if you are I have one for your next story once your finished with this one.
Genre: action/sci-fi
THE AMAZING GALACTIC DEFENSE FORCE!!! Saving the galaxy from villainous scum like bino naster,
FOX: the leader.
PEANUT: second in command
GRAPE: the scout
KING: the tech master
MAX: cyborg super cat
BAILEY: mission control
they are prepared for any situation!! From evil droid army to giant monster attack, these heros are rarely caught off guard!
Based off their spaceship, the mighty Babylon, they are the galaxy's ultimate heroes!!!
Soooooo......... Do you like it?

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Mon Jul 01, 2013 10:22 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment
I'm always taking suggestions, but I'll only get to the ones I like after I'm finished writing my current one. And I'll definitely keep yours in mind!

_________________
Reminiscence: A Tale of Dreams - Complete
An Experiment - Ongoing: Story 2, 'The Babylon Incident', in progress!
Tired/Eternity/Broadsides: 'I did not have literary relations with those fanfics'

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Mon Jul 01, 2013 10:39 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment
Kkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy..................

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Tue Jul 02, 2013 6:42 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment
EDIT: Corrected an egregious mistake, as noted by Gren.

An Experiment
Story 1: Trouble on the Waterfront
Chapter 4: Dockside Blues


I awoke to a crushing headache, and the sound of water dripping through a damp wooden ceiling. All I could smell was mold. My hands were tied with rope, and my mouth taped shut. A lightbulb in the middle of the room provided faint, flickering light. I looked over to my left, and to my right – Ms. Sandwich, and a brown dog who looked like Peanut. Their eyes were closed, and they weren’t moving. My heart tried to jump out of my throat.

A cat stepped into my field of view, a few feet in front of me. He had gray fur, and gray eyes, but he was smiling. He reached a hand to his eyes and pulled out colored contacts. His irises shone a bright yellow.

“Ah, that feels much better,” he said. The cat kneeled down in front of me. His face twisted into a sneer. “Hello there, detective. I’m sorry for your head, but I just couldn’t help but try and bash it open.” He ripped off my gag. “Any last words?”

Well, that sealed it. If I was about to die, the least I wanted was some answers. “Why?” I asked. The cat stared at me, and then through me.

“For years, I’ve served Ms. Sandwich,” He said, his voice quiet. “My father served her father, my grandfather her grandfather, and so on. Every day, I make her breakfast, wash her clothes, do her dishes, tend her garden. I don’t get paid well, either."

I heard Peanut moan. At least he wasn't dead, yet. Maybe if this psycho kept talking, I'd be able to figure out an escape plan.

“But that’s fine. All I needed was something to relax with, something to take my mind off things. So I started writing. Just short little stories first, but then I’d write more, and more, until I ended up with a novel.

“’Ms. Sandwich will love this!’ I thought. I showed it to her, hoping I could get some advice. Maybe she could even get it published! She had a few high-society friends, who knows what they could…”

I’d begun to doze off. My kidnapper kicked me in the leg. “Anyway,” he continued. “I gave it to her, and she laughed. She told me how wonderful it was, how great it would be to have. She took it! Right from my hands, and told me to finish up with the dishes!

“That was it, the last straw. I decided that if I was going to get my book back, I might as well be creative about it. I paid some money to get a homeless man to park out near the mob’s drug warehouse you sniffed out. I kidnapped Peanut, and planned to lead Ms. Sandwich to the drugs, to be arrested by a cop. With her only relative gone, and a ten-year prison term, I’d be the legal caretaker of her property. I’d take my book back, and publish it, and never have to work again.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “But you had to screw it all up, didn’t you? You found the drugs, knocked out Fido, and called the Mafia on me.” He extended his claws. “You know what? For that, I think I’m going to kill you.”

I closed my eyes, and swallowed. “Get it over with, then,” I said. I’d always known I wouldn’t live to reach old age. In Babylon City, nobody does. The best you can hope for is to die doing what you do best. I waited for something that would let me know that I was gone – pain, a lack of feeling, or a sudden silence.

Instead, I felt a pressure in my trenchcoat. I heard a gunshot, loud enough to pop my eardrums, and a thump. I opened my eyes. Ms. Sandwich had taken my revolver, and shot our kidnapper in the stomach. She tore off her gag.

“Res, you idiot,” She said. “I was going to give the book back.” She untied my hands. I took out my cellphone, about to call 911. Something seemed to stab me in my skull. My vision doubled, and I passed out.


____________________



I laid in my apartment bed, reading the newspaper, with cotton balls stuffed into my ears. It was one day after I’d been hit on the head and kidnapped, and my doctor had ordered me to relax for a while. I would’ve camped out in my office – ‘home’ was dark and leaky, with chipped paint and cockroaches – but it didn’t have a bed, and it took all of my willpower just to sit up.

On the second page of the local police blotter, stuffed between the many criminal reports given out daily by the BCPD, were the words:

Res Auburn, 20, arrested for kidnapping. Currently in the hospital, undergoing treatment for a gunshot wound. Court case scheduled March 3.

I smiled; leave it to Babylon City to make my near-death experience sound routine. I set the newspaper down, took a prescription painkiller, and tried to get some more sleep.



Two weeks later, I was able to get out of bed without collapsing. I called a taxi, and directed the driver to 908 Klaxon Road.

Ms. Sandwich was outside her house, to the left of the entrance. She was sitting on a white lawn chair, and drinking hot tea on a lawn table. She tilted her head, motioning for me to join her, and I did. As I picked up a cup, she slid a package over to me.

“Five thousand dollars, plus five hundred,” She said. “Don’t worry about your office bills. I took care of those, too, for what you went through.”

“Very kind of you,” I said. Ms. Sandwich stared down at the table.

“Detective – Max,” she began. “I would like to discuss a proposal with you.”

“Yes?”

“My house feels empty, now that Res is gone,” Ms. Sandwich said. “Would you like to live here?”

I blinked, and tried to cover up my surprise by sipping some tea. It tasted like lavender, and had a hint of catnip.


End of Story 1: Trouble on the Waterfront
Written by: Rollofthedice
Suggested by: Gren


Total word count: 4,074.

_______________________________

Editor's Note: Okay, maybe Res being the criminal was a bit out of character - But hey, I'm writing fanfiction about Grape's fanfiction-induced fiction. I think I can afford to bend things a little bit. :lol: Just pretend she's still a bit bitter about Res hiding behind her owner or something.

I hope the ending wasn't too sudden, even considering the story's somewhat short length. It just felt like the right place to end it in. Honestly, the biggest problem I have when writing fiction is getting it to a length I feel comfortable with, and I'll keep working on that for as long as this thread is around.

This was a really fun story to write, and I can't wait to do more. I'm going to be taking a break from writing for a few days, though (probably less than a week). I'll also try spacing my chapters out more next time, in the hopes of getting myself to put a bit more in them.

In other words: Now is a perfect time for readers to suggest story ideas! I've already got one by Legotron123, but submissions will be ranked in order of how much I like them, not by who sends one in first - so if you've got something great, post here on this thread OR PM me! I'd really like to have more than one suggestion in between stories, to add some variety.

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Last edited by Rollofthedice on Wed Jul 03, 2013 3:35 am, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Jul 02, 2013 6:46 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment
I love how you did the story in the Noir style. Great props, Keep up the great work!

As for thinking that the ending was rushed, I personally believe this was perfectly spaced out and it was a perfect amount in each Chapter of the story. :)

I have one idea for the next part: A space adventure! or...a storyline like...Godfather?

as soon as I read this story, I automatically thought about the Godfather.

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Tue Jul 02, 2013 11:47 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment
Really enjoyed that story. Res makes the perfect villain. It's always the quiet ones! *shifty eyes*
I thought the abrupt ending worked great for this story. :lol:

As for new suggestions, well, if I come up with something then I'm probably going to want to write it :P

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Wed Jul 03, 2013 1:31 am
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Post Re: An Experiment
Well, you asked me for criticisms and here you have.

Honestly I think the ending was a bit rushed. Maybe it would be necessary one more chapter.
There's also some points I want to remark:

-This was supposed to be a detective story and Maxwell wasn't able to resolve the case? (and he even got paid!)
-The responsible behind all of this was the butler whose existence wasn't knew until last chapter (He came right out of the blue!)
-Even though Res' plans were frustrated, why he only killed Peanut and not Grape? And how did a female aristocat who probably never got her hands dirty in her life to get free of the bindings? Meanwhile Maxwell, a guy who deals with these things every day just sat there and waited the bullet?
-I know this is Grape just fangirling, but Fido being defeated by a single blow? and by a cat? Seriously? It would've been believable if Rex was the one who kicked him. At least I was expecting a bit more of struggle.
-Why Grape said that Peanut was her cousin and not her stepbrother? Or are you implying that she doesn't love him even as a brother? That's harsh.
-After reading the last chapter I didn't find a compelling reason to have brought Bino and Fox to the story.
-Two weeks after Grape's cousin and butler (probably best friend) died she just invited a complete stranger to live with her? Just like that? I think she should turn off her fangirl mode if she doesn't want to ruin her stories.

However I think your story was good. I hope you don't get upset by my criticism, I was as honest as I could. I am sure you'll take this to improve your writing.

By the way, with this story you did rather obvious how much you love Grapewell (and probably that's why you only ask canon pairings. right?)

I have another idea for a good story, but I think I should let to the rest to have their chance.

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Wed Jul 03, 2013 1:56 am
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Post Re: An Experiment
Gren wrote:
Well, you asked me for criticisms and here you have.

Honestly I think the ending was a bit rushed. Maybe it would be necessary one more chapter.


I'm really sorry about that. Figuring out where to end a story and where to keep it going is seriously my biggest problem I have as a writer, and I'll be trying my best to address it as time goes on.

Quote:
-This was supposed to be a detective story and Maxwell wasn't able to resolve the case? (and he even got paid!)

That's a fair point, and I think it all comes down to what I was expecting in Maxwell's character. I didn't want him to seem particularly good at his job. I guess I didn't emphasize that enough? He got the money because Grape totally wanted to keep him as an item, not because of any particular impressiveness on his part.

Quote:
-The responsible behind all of this was the butler whose existence wasn't knew until last chapter (He came right out of the blue!)


Actually, he didn't come out of the blue exactly. If you take a look at Chapter 1:

"I was lead upstairs by a particularly quiet housekeeper, a cat with gray eyes, gray fur and a gray spirit."
I was afraid of giving him a proper introduction, or else everything would've become obvious seeing as he was the only character mentioned in the entire story that wasn't ruled out (which is also, in hindsight, not a very good thing to do in a mystery story). I still should've been less subtle, I guess.

Quote:
-Even though Res' plans were frustrated, why he only killed Peanut and not Grape? And how did a female aristocat who probably never got her hands dirty in her life to get free of the bindings? Meanwhile Maxwell, a guy who deals with these things every day just sat there and waited the bullet?


Ah, dang. :oops:

I was attempting to be a bit ambiguous as to whether Grape and Peanut were alive at the start of the scene. I seriously completely forgot about Peanut the moment Grape shot Res. Out of all the things that need fixing in my story, that's probably one of the biggest, and I actually think I'll edit a few sentences into that scene to clarify some details.

As to the second and third questions - Grape did kick open (or even kick down, depending on how literally you want to take my sentence in Chapter 1) the door to Max's office just to seem a bit cool. She's as feisty in the Housepets! universe as she is in her fiction.

Quote:
-I know this is Grape just fangirling, but Fido being defeated by a single blow? and by a cat? Seriously? It would've been believable if Rex was the one who kicked him. At least I was expecting a bit more of struggle.


You're right, it was a copout. It would have been better had Max run instead, a chase scene sounds pretty great now that I think about it. But if you want a plausible explanation? Grape wanted Max to do something stupid cool at least once during the course of the story, and it backfired on her. Silly Grape.

Quote:
-Why Grape said that Peanut was her cousin and not her stepbrother? Or are you implying that she doesn't love him even as a brother? That's harsh.


Again, a loose end I never really tied up. I had the idea in my head that they weren't really related at all, but Grape had found Peanut down on his luck, took him under his wing, and attempted to make him seem to everyone as a part of the family. I should have implied that more strongly.

Quote:
-After reading the last chapter I didn't find a compelling reason to have brought Bino and Fox to the story.

I needed a way to establish who owned the drug warehouse without seeming completely preposterous. I guess Max could have already realized the place was Mafia-run from the get-go, but then the whole plot would have to be changed.

Quote:
-Two weeks after Grape's cousin and butler (probably best friend) died she just invited a complete stranger to live with her? Just like that? I think she should turn off her fangirl mode if she doesn't want to ruin her stories.

:lol: You're right about that! It was intentional. She'll slowly be tuning out her fantasies from her stories as time passes.

Quote:
By the way, with this story you did rather obvious how much you love Grapewell (and probably that's why you only ask canon pairings. right?)


Actually, I've never actually cared much about putting pairings in my stuff, canon or otherwise. Did I try a bit too hard, here? It seemed like the right thing to do, considering Grape is, in a sense, the 'actual' author of the story. I stipulated for canon pairings in the hopes of keeping overt wish-fulfillment from the table. I don't want to spend this thread writing about Grapenut or other pairings. That would get real tiring real fast.

It's obvious from all this that I need to be a bit more involved into my audience's wishes. From now on, I'll be PM'ing an advance copy to story suggestors, in the hopes of cleaning up any mistakes I make before I post them.

And you know what, Gren? I'll get back to you after I get a few more stories put out, and we'll see if we can rewrite a few things to your satisfaction. I rushed your story in order to give the rest of my readers a general picture of what I was trying to accomplish with audience suggestions, and that was both unprofessional and stupid of me to do. I'm glad you spent the time to criticize my work. I'll do my best to improve from it. :mrgreen:

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Last edited by Rollofthedice on Thu Jul 04, 2013 6:46 pm, edited 3 times in total.



Wed Jul 03, 2013 3:31 am
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
Fox and King are not really to be discussed... ever. Seriously, no. Read the rules.


I happened to like the story! You did Noir well.... I do have problems with Detective Noir myself because at it's nature it is more action than solving the case... way too sensational for my liking.

Hmm.... ideas.... a day in the life of Fido and Sabrina... a date night.

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Thu Jul 04, 2013 6:28 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
Also I find hilarious that res decided to kill peanut and frame grape for owning a drug warehouse, just because she forgot to mention that she planed on giving his story back.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/M ... etribution much res?
copper wrote:
Fox and King are not really to be discussed... ever. Seriously, no. Read the rules.

1. Which rules? Basic forum or fan projects specifically?
Who's this even directed at? It's hard to tell without quoting unless it immediately after the post it's directed at.

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Thu Jul 04, 2013 7:17 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
Legotron123 wrote:
Who's this even directed at? It's hard to tell without quoting unless it immediately after the post it's directed at.


I mentioned it as something people should not suggest to me, and then thought better of even talking about it specifically and edited it out of my post (the one previous to this one). It's also probably something that should be said on a thread where I let the audience suggest what I should write.

For future reference: Romantic stories regarding any characters are going to be a low priority for me. I'd prefer for people to think up imaginative genres/topics/scenarios. If anyone asks for a PG and allowed pairing along with a cool idea, then sure I'll do my best to work it in, but it won't be the focus of whatever I try to do.

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Thu Jul 04, 2013 7:51 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
Rollofthedice wrote:
Legotron123 wrote:
Who's this even directed at? It's hard to tell without quoting unless it immediately after the post it's directed at.


I mentioned it as something people should not suggest to me, and then thought better of even talking about it specifically and edited it out of my post (the one previous to this one). It's also probably something that should be said on a thread where I let the audience suggest what I should write.

For future reference: Romantic stories regarding any characters are going to be a low priority for me. I'd prefer for people to think up imaginative genres/topics/scenarios. If anyone asks for a PG and allowed pairing along with a cool idea, then sure I'll do my best to work it in, but it won't be the focus of whatever I try to do.

Oh. In that case coppers right.
DONT. do king and fox couples.EVER.

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Thu Jul 04, 2013 8:06 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
And to get off of this topic - Keep sending in suggestions, everybody! Right now I've got about three, and three does not a proper choice make. :lol:

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Thu Jul 04, 2013 8:14 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
Alright then! How about A western involving Spo and Squeak and any other mouse at all.

Or maybe a ninja vs. samurai thought up by bino involving Fox and King! :lol:

Or maybe a Fido and Joey thing where everyone sees them wering mice on their heads and thinks it a fashion statement, so all the dogs begin finding mice to wear on their heads, much to the chagrin of cats everywhere!

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Thu Jul 04, 2013 8:28 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
How about a story about king, fox and bailey as a trio of Indiana jones style adventurers?

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Thu Jul 04, 2013 8:42 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
Legotron123 wrote:
How about a story about king, fox and bailey as a trio of Indiana jones style adventurers?


As long as King is shortround, I will be happy with this.

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Thu Jul 04, 2013 9:14 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment
Rollofthedice wrote:
Actually, he didn't come out of the blue exactly. If you take a look at Chapter 1:

"I was lead upstairs by a particularly quiet housekeeper, a cat with gray eyes, gray fur and a gray spirit."
I was afraid of giving him a proper introduction, or else everything would've become obvious seeing as he was the only character mentioned in the entire story that wasn't ruled out (which is also, in hindsight, not a very good thing to do in a mystery story). I still should've been less subtle, I guess.


Well, I suppose I didn't saw the connection here because I thought a housekeeper is always a female (though I think I should have been more open minded considering gender in cats is always confusing).
However, if Res and Grape knew each other pretty well then why he needed to use the colored contacts? Shouldn't Grape have suspected about this?

Quote:
As to the second and third questions - Grape did kick open (or even kick down, depending on how literally you want to take my sentence in Chapter 1) the door to Max's office just to seem a bit cool. She's as feisty in the Housepets! universe as she is in her fiction.


Okay, okay, I'll take she is some kind of Lara Croft in this story (though I think it would have been nicer if you clarifies better)

Quote:
You're right, it was a copout. It would have been better had Max run instead, a chase scene sounds pretty great now that I think about it. But if you want a plausible explanation? Grape wanted Max to do something stupid cool at least once during the course of the story, and it backfired on her. Silly Grape.


Well, if you ask me, I think Max did a lot of cool things throughout the story.

Quote:
Again, a loose end I never really tied up. I had the idea in my head that they weren't really related at all, but Grape had found Peanut down on his luck, took him under his wing, and attempted to make him seem to everyone as a part of the family. I should have implied that more strongly.


Yeah, this was the kind of explanation I was expecting. I like it, by the way.

Quote:
I needed a way to establish who owned the drug warehouse without seeming completely preposterous. I guess Max could have already realized the place was Mafia-run from the get-go, but then the whole plot would have to be changed.


I don't think that remove them would have changed things too much, maybe just make the story shorter. After chapter three I was expecting Mafia to hunt down Peanut's head (but that never happened).
I think it would be better if you interconnect all the sides (Mafia, Fido, the housekeeper, Joey, etc), in a way so complex that you could even suspect of Grape herself.

Quote:
:lol: You're right about that! It was intentional. She'll slowly be tuning out her fantasies from her stories as time passes.


I hope so. X3

Quote:
Actually, I've never actually cared much about putting pairings in my stuff, canon or otherwise. Did I try a bit too hard, here? It seemed like the right thing to do, considering Grape is, in a sense, the 'actual' author of the story. I stipulated for canon pairings in the hopes of keeping overt wish-fulfillment from the table. I don't want to spend this thread writing about Grapenut or other pairings. That would get real tiring real fast.


Then it seems you are like me.

Quote:
And you know what, Gren? I'll get back to you after I get a few more stories put out, and we'll see if we can rewrite a few things to your satisfaction. I rushed your story in order to give the rest of my readers a general picture of what I was trying to accomplish with audience suggestions, and that was both unprofessional and stupid of me to do. I'm glad you spent the time to criticize my work. I'll do my best to improve from it. :mrgreen:


Why, thank you! I'm glad you appreciate what I said, and I'll be honored to help you whenever you want to rewrite the thing and of course you can count on me when you need ideas for more stories. :D

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Thu Jul 04, 2013 11:23 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
Hmmm. Fanfic about fictional fanfic. What would you call that, Fanception?

Oriental short-clawed otters are extremely social, living in families of over a dozen animals. They're not happy living alone.

One unfortunate otter finds herself mistakenly dumped in a zoo with a pair of male otters that don't speak her language and aren't even her own species - she's Aonyx Cinerea, and they're Lontra Canadensis. How does she deal with her situation? This could be a romance, a romantic comedy, a tragedy, or even a mockumentary.

Starring - Tarmac, Gambit, and the unnamed protagonist. Guest-starring the tenants of Babylon Gardens zoo.

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Fri Jul 05, 2013 1:25 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
Interesting yet unusual story, granted it's not finalized.

Can you think of making a similar genre according to my post? viewtopic.php?f=13&t=1695

As in doing another round of Truth or Dare with perhaps different characters or different games?

...Or how about Grape's own interpretation of what it's like if everyone swapped species? Cats to dogs and vice-versa but other species such as mice remain as they are?

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Fri Jul 05, 2013 4:49 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
Okay, here's everything I've got so far.
In no particular order:

Gren - Mystery/Thriller - Unsatisfied with result; will be reworked later
Legotron123, hyperfox - Space Adventure/Sci-Fi
hyperfox - Godfather/Mafia
copper - Western, Samurai, Mousewear (?)
Legotron123 - Indiana Jones
Argent - Fish Otter-out-of-water scenario
kavviyenta - Truth/Dareish, Species swapping (but only for large animals?)

The bolded is what I am - or soon will be - working on. I should get to most of the others later. However, for right now I'm setting a limit of two story suggestions per person, so if you've suggested that many but like some other idea better, just post or PM and I'll replace as necessary. Please don't post a billion and tell me to pick which ones I like best; use some personal judgment.

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Fri Jul 05, 2013 7:37 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
An Experiment
Story 2: The Babylon Incident
Introduction: Babylon Sinking


It is the year 2999. The animals of Earth, in a golden age of technology and research, have unlocked the secrets of faster-than-light travel and planetary terraforming. Overpopulation has led to migration - first to the Moon, but then to Mars, Titan, and the multitudes of other nearby star systems. However, travel between them remains expensive, due to the huge and complex stations used to quantum tunnel ships through the hard vacuum of space. Due to intensive research as to the nature of quantum tunnelling, the maximum speed limit for space travel these stations reach is around two parsecs (or 6.5 light years) per Earth year.

The United Nations have organized an Intergalactic Defense Force dedicated to preserving the peace. This force is split up into four fleets containing four hundred ships each, which protect their designated system. The most vulnerable fleet of all is the Defense Force of Tau Ceti (or DEFTAU), as it is the farthest from Earth. It takes close to two years for resources to arrive from the motherland, which has led the inhabitants of Tau Ceti's five recently terraformed planets to scavenge for materials. Disputes between the habitations are frequent, and space piracy is a chronic issue.

This is the story of DEFTAU's four hundredth ship, the Babylon, and its crew.

______________________


Captain Fox Peterson was sitting on his antique wooden desk chair, trying to think of a witty phrase to begin his holographic audio log with, when water began spraying from the ceiling. He sighed. Every day, there seemed to be a problem. He hoped the chair would be all right.

Fox heard a thump at the door. A brown dog ran into the room, with a hand on his forehead.

"Hello, Lieutenant Peanut," Fox said. "Have you and the logistician thought about changing your names? I find it personally difficult to order crewmembers around when they're named after food spreads."

"Captain!" Peanut exclaimed. "The ship's secondary systems are malfunctioning!"

"I've noticed. Is the Head Technician working on it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then I assume everything will be taken care of soon." Peanut saluted, and turned to leave.

"Before you go," Fox said, "Please remember that my quarters require an ID card before you run headfirst into the door, Lieutenant. Dismissed."

---------

Fifteen minutes later, the sprinklers were still on, and the water was starting to pool up around Fox's ankles.

"How much water does this ship hold?" He left his quarters, wading through the plain metal hallway that held all of the crew's dormitories. Next to every room was a square light, which indicated occupation status. All were red, save for Intelligence Officer Maxwell's, which was green. Fox sloshed to his door, and banged on it.

"Everything all right in there, Officer?" There was no response. Fox grabbed his universal ID from his vest pocket, and swiped it on the card reader just beneath the occupational indicator.

Water poured out of the doorway, knocking Fox to the ground. He thrashed around a bit, before realizing that the hall was leveling out and he was submerged in only about a foot of liquid. He stood up. Maxwell was in front of the door, stock still.

"Officer?" Fox asked. Maxwell blinked, twitched a little, and saluted.

"Hola, señor! ¿cómo estás? Este es clima tan agradable, eh?" Something sparked behind his left eye. Fox stared.

"Officer, are you aware that you're speaking in twenty-first century Spanish?"

"Quoi? Je ne suis pas, capitaine," Maxwell said.

Fox shook his head. "Forget it, officer. If you find the navigator walking around, tell her - well, do your best - to direct our course to Tau Ceti E," he said.

"Да, капетане!" Fox stared at Maxwell, slowly shook his head, and walked away.

The Babylon consisted of an operations center (the 'bridge'), an engine room, and a series of vertical hallways linked horizontally in the middle. The dormitories lay in the central hall, while System Maintenance bordered the engine on the starboard side. Fox heard furious cursing before the Maintenance door had even opened.

"This just has to happen to me, doesn't it," said the Chief Technician in between his expletives, waist-deep in water. "It's always the short one who has to stop the ship from flooding. It's always the short one who has to do all the work!"

"I'm sorry you've gotten the short end of the stick, King," Fox said. King didn't look up from the large, holographic work screen that took up much of the room, but he saluted on instinct.

"Hey, Captain. I'm having a heck of a time trying to fix the secondary systems. I'm pretty sure there's a virus at work here."

Fox furrowed his brow. "The last port we even docked at was the Tau Cetian Transgalactic Station, and that was five Earth months ago."

King shrugged his shoulders. "If I was just dealing with a glitch, I'd have fixed it already. We need to get this ship to another port, Captain, before anything else gets affected."

"That reminds me. Our Intelligence Officer's speaking in foreign languages without realizing it."

King growled. "One thing at a time, Fox, please. He should've remembered to reapply the desiccant on his cyberneural implants, anyway."

"Fair enough." Fox stared down at his knees. "Can you at least slow this down?"

"I can try." King tapped several buttons on the work screen. The sprinklers died down in intensity.

"Thank you," Fox said. "I'll be on the bridge for the rest of the day."

---------

"Ah, Navigator Bailey," Fox said, walking onto the bridge. "Was Maxwell intelligible enough?"

"You're lucky I still know a bit of Russian from college," Bailey said. "We should be at Tau Ceti E in three hours and five minutes."

Fox sighed - again - before sitting on his Captain's Seat. The main distinction between it and the others was that it was in front of the others, and that it swiveled.

"Well, great," he said. "Now I just have to figure out what to do in the meanti-"

The entrance to the bridge opened. Chief Logistician Grape floated in on a large synthetic device, shaped like a yellow duck with a flattened back. She was sipping a non-alcoholic margarita, and she was smiling.

"You ever wonder about the stuff in storage we've never been ordered to unload?" She asked.

Bailey stared. She stood up from her seat left of Fox, and dog-paddled out of the bridge.

---------

The Babylon landed at the Tau Ceti E Solar Airport without incident. However, when contacting the ship visually for verification and docking permissions, the traffic controller noticed that the ship’s Navigations Officer was responding to him while riding a float made of rare, museum-quality Earth nylon. He passed it up the chain of command.

After a great deal of explanations, the Babylon was subsequently pumped of water and its systems wiped of data. The crewmembers were sent to Tau Cetian’s Eighth Medical Ward, to be checked for exotic diseases or collective mental illness. They were released back to their ship after a week, with their pay cut, and desiccant reapplied to Maxwell's implants.

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Reminiscence: A Tale of Dreams - Complete
An Experiment - Ongoing: Story 2, 'The Babylon Incident', in progress!
Tired/Eternity/Broadsides: 'I did not have literary relations with those fanfics'

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Sun Jul 07, 2013 12:02 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
I agree fox, that does seem like a lot of water.
Also, YAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!!!! My story's up!!!!
I really like the feeling I get for being al least somewhat responsible for making something cool.

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Sun Jul 07, 2013 12:35 pm
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Puppy Wrangler
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
Well this was fun! Checked for collective mental illness. :lol:

I do believe Grape is awesome in her appearance on the scene.

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Sun Jul 07, 2013 8:45 pm
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Post Re: An Experiment: Audience-Suggested Stories
Yay! I was happy to read this and I must say....this...is...EPIC!

Can't wait to see the next chapter.

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Tue Jul 09, 2013 11:44 pm
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