(Oh, wow, a one-shot from Rollofthedice that is
lighthearted? HOLY MOLY!
I'm somewhat certain this follows forum guidelines. If it doesn't though, I guess I'll find out.)
(EDIT: Changed a sentence in regards to Brent's helpful observation.)
"Oh, Parnok!" Kurok exclaimed. "What strong muscles you have!"
"Why, thank you, my friend," Parnok remarked in a disheartened tone, "But I don't think I can accept the advances of a woman with such a manly name."
Kurok looked as if about to faint. "But Parnok! Ambiguously sexist undertones aside, you know that the only reason that is so is because of that terrible yet strangely liberating accident I had when I was a-"
"Hey, Grape!"
Grape shut her laptop almost instantaneously upon hearing her name.
"What do you want?" She asked, eyes narrowed.
"Do you know where the dog treats are?"
Grape sighed. "Peanut, why would I know where dog treats are? I'm a cat, remember?"
"Well, I thought that since you always seem to know where the frying pans are, you'd know where everything else is."
Grape turned a bit in her seat to glare at Peanut. "I have no idea, okay? Now leave me alone." Peanut frowned, and left to head back into the kitchen. Continuing to stare - as to make sure that the canine would not be heading back - Grape slowly opened her laptop. Satisfied that there were no further distractions, she went back to work.
****************
In the Sandwich's household, not even the animals were up past midnight. Peanut, however, broke that tradition.
Grape had left the door to her bedroom open, as she usually did; it made things more efficient whenever she had to head out and hunt for a morning snack. Tiptoeing into her room, Peanut saw her laptop, sitting quietly next to the feline's bed. Peanut kept his eyes on Grape's sleeping form, as he quickly grabbed it and sneaked over into the living room. Sitting on the couch, he opened the lid, powered the laptop on, and waited for it to start up.
To Peanuts' pleasant surprise, it was only on sleep mode, and soon was on Grape's desktop. The dog whisked his paw over the touchpad, mousing over MSPaint. Something caught his eye before he started the program, however. On the taskbar, flanked by web links regarding the taste of certain kinds of fish, was an open document. Peanut clicked on it, and took a quick skim. Then, with very wide eyes, he took another.
It was a fanfic, titled
'The Origin of Kurok's Super Kawaii Name'. Peanut winced at the gratuitous Japanese, and soon found the fic to be as bad as the title.
As the dog stared at the laptop screen, mouth agape, a curious and quite wonderful idea took hold of him. Trying quite hard not to laugh, he went online, and noticed with glee that Grape had had Internet Explorer remember her password for Gmail. Peanut composed an email under her name, titling it the same as the fanfiction he had just read. Smirking, he sent it to Res.
****************
"...And then the dragon beat up the snowstorm which was a giant-"
Grape groaned. "I don't want to hear about this supernatural stuff. Why do we have to keep delving into that like it's our business? Let's just have a normal conversation about normal things."
"Oh, okay." Peanut sat next to Grape, staring ahead in silence. A sudden guilty thought struck him. Without really thinking, he blurted out-
"I e-mailed your fanfic to Res."
*PFFF*