Ok, it's an intriguing start.
Suggestion: It needs description and introspection, and not just a dialogues exchange, so that we can see the attitude behind the dialogues.

I'll attempt to implement that as best I can next chapter. Thankfully, next chapter probably won't require nearly as much dialogue to get the point across.

--

this sounds interesting.

The reception I get here is so much better than what I get on FIMFiction, it keeps me going :D

you're getting better with this. Keep practicing with the style, Stoneman is already one interesting guy.

And from here on out, things get even better c;

Oooooh, what do I think this one hasn't always been a cat?
And where those the voices of Fido and Spo at the end?

That's up for you to guess c;

actually, it's more that even I don't really have a set idea. It all depends on when Spo arrived at Babylon Gardens. Remember that this is before Tarot arrived and before Max and Grape get together.

Spo's first appearance was before the Down at the Farm arc, so you're good.

also, this looks interesting.

Thanks c:

Hmm, that owner is not a good owner, methinks.... very self centered.

Nice start, keep going and practicing and I am sure you will get many fans!

Add zombies, hyenas, and Illuminati. Oh, and all the Valve video game characters!

"Yo, Chell! You gon be in the Illuminati?"
"Nah, being a lightbulb doesn't seem very fun."
"That's only because she ain't very bright..."
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you make me laugh!


*le pause of pauses*


"UUURGH."
"Hey, Gordon, could ya take care of that guy?"
"No, shut up, I'm supposed to be in stasis."
"You ever get the feeling that this is just some terrible, overly long skit made up on the spot by some guy at a computer screen?"
"Urgh."
"Yeah, I thought so too..."

hold on, I need to fix some errors with your skit


(I wasn't sure which lines were Chell and Gordon, but neither of them speak)

As much as I appreciate the fix I don't really mind going OOC for them, after all the skit was just a little thing I came up with in a few seconds. I could make a separate fic involving the aforementioned organizations/characters but really I want to finish this one before moving on. God knows how many long-fics I've written ended up as 1k word long oneshots due to wanting to move on to other things. With the promising feedback I'm getting on this I feel that it would be a bit of a disappointment to others to just cancel it or condense it into nothing.

My comment was a joke, as I am sure was Silly Zealot's comment.

I knew Zealot's was. My reply to his comment was. but I wasn't too sure about yours...

Oh well. It wouldn't be a smart thing to keep bumping this thread with a discussion on a joke, nor would it be god for any parties involved. Let's just move on, shall we?

Oh, it's fine. I try to let creativity flow in here. As long as you don't stray too far into it like commenting on other fics, advertising your own in another thread without consent, or trying to do something outside of the forum rules, I am fine with talking.

Sooooo, does it mean I can still ask for this fanfic to be narrated by Gordon Freeman? Ooooh, I can already see it: "....."
"......"
"........"-".......!"-"......."
"Sniff" This fanfic's gonna be beatifull.

"And then the moon."

THE END...? up next, the gang goes to... Somewhere exciting!

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Exposition? More like explosion! (crickets)
Joey could have also said "Son of my mother." or "Son of a.... female dog."

I like the second one best, I'ma change it now 0u0

Well, Mr. Stoneman, there is no need to be so rude!

Is it bad that I read "Well, Mr. Stoneman" in G-Man's voice?

Haha! Got you hooked up with Valve now, didn't I?
But I think that Joey's original statement fitted perfectly with the housepets! vibe and all of that.

Personally, considering that Joey was dressed up as a cat at that point it would make more sense to use your line. After all, it makes him sound like he almost forgot he was supposed to be acting like a cat.

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Some random thing that happened while writing the new chapter.

~~bl~~

“Bino, get back in the circle and shut your trap before I hit you with this rock that has come into my possession through means that even I cannot comprehend.” Mr. Bigglesworth wiped off his muzzle as he sat back down. “I must have obtained it as a way to forward the plot and avert an overly long argument over something that I currently have no idea about.”

“This isn’t a story, Mr. Bigglesworth, you don’t need to be one of those creepy guys who acts like they know they’re in one.” Joey looked at Mr. Bigglesworth with an unamused expression.

“How do you know that this isn’t some stupid joke made by some author in an alternate dimension that has now decided that this makes no sense at all, and now whatever happens from the point at which I arrive again and onwards will most likely be erased from our timeline and redone to be more serious?” Mr. Bigglesworth stared ominously into the distance. “I bet he just decided that he was going to erase this timeline completely... Well, it was good knowing you all.”

~~bl~~

You know too much, Mr. Bigglesworth... And I wrote like Regidar for once woohoo

Poor Mr. Bigglesworth #163, he was too self-aware and vocal for his own good.
Also: Fox: "Okay, Stoneman, truth or dare?"
Me: " The truth shall set you free." (gets taken off-screen and brick'd)
Fox:" Uuhh.. Right.. So, Stoneman, truth or dare? "
Stoneman: " Errrr....... Truth!"
Fox: "Did you use to be human like King over here?"
King:" What?! How did-"
Stoneman: "Ho, you read the comic too?"

Poor, Poor Bigglesworth...

That Bigglesworth was not very smart... you wait until the audience gets emotionally invested in you to break that wall down!

Grape will always get her way then, eh? I hope she and Stoneman get along well enough.He sounds like he needs a good friend!

Looks like Joey suffers from Foot-in-mouth disorder.

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But then, it happened, everything went to hell and Stoneman ended up getting killed by a nuclear bomb or something.

And that is why you never eat pancakes with the butter-flavored syrup.

I hope it was pet friendly chocolate...

I am happy Stoneman is enjoying his new life!

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Well isn't that a sweet scene~

Seems Stoneman has a lot to deal with, heh.

Another interesting update!