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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Fireman (It's Becoming a Comic Now)
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
Last edited by Mickey the Luxray on Tue Sep 03, 2013 7:36 am, edited 15 times in total.
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Thu Mar 21, 2013 2:18 am |
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valerio
Game Master
Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 am Posts: 18896 Location: Italy
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 Re: Fireman
Ok, it's an intriguing start. Suggestion: It needs description and introspection, and not just a dialogues exchange, so that we can see the attitude behind the dialogues.
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Thu Mar 21, 2013 2:22 am |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
I'll attempt to implement that as best I can next chapter. Thankfully, next chapter probably won't require nearly as much dialogue to get the point across.
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Thu Mar 21, 2013 2:48 am |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
--
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
Last edited by Mickey the Luxray on Sat Apr 27, 2013 3:31 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Fri Mar 22, 2013 1:11 am |
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valerio
Game Master
Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 am Posts: 18896 Location: Italy
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 Re: Fireman
this sounds interesting.
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Fri Mar 22, 2013 1:39 am |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
The reception I get here is so much better than what I get on FIMFiction, it keeps me going :D
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Fri Mar 22, 2013 1:41 am |
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valerio
Game Master
Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 am Posts: 18896 Location: Italy
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 Re: Fireman
you're getting better with this. Keep practicing with the style, Stoneman is already one interesting guy.
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Fri Mar 22, 2013 1:50 am |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
And from here on out, things get even better c;
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Fri Mar 22, 2013 2:00 am |
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Silly Zealot
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am Posts: 1497 Location: The land of the dulce de leche!
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 Re: Fireman
Oooooh, what do I think this one hasn't always been a cat? And where those the voices of Fido and Spo at the end?
_________________ 20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2015, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (
I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!
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Fri Mar 22, 2013 12:34 pm |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
That's up for you to guess c;
actually, it's more that even I don't really have a set idea. It all depends on when Spo arrived at Babylon Gardens. Remember that this is before Tarot arrived and before Max and Grape get together.
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Fri Mar 22, 2013 3:38 pm |
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RandomGeekNamedBrent
laughing maniacally
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:42 pm Posts: 20538 Location: an invisible, flying volcano over Virginia
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 Re: Fireman
Spo's first appearance was before the Down at the Farm arc, so you're good.
also, this looks interesting.
_________________ I'm a shape-shifter. I'm currently in whatever form I feel like Paradigm Shift by me I do not actually believe any of what I'm saying. RP character sheets
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Sat Mar 23, 2013 2:01 am |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
Thanks c:
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Sat Mar 23, 2013 3:07 am |
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copper
Puppy Wrangler
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm Posts: 6362 Location: Florida
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 Re: Fireman
Hmm, that owner is not a good owner, methinks.... very self centered. Nice start, keep going and practicing and I am sure you will get many fans! 
_________________ My characters Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
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Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:04 pm |
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Silly Zealot
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am Posts: 1497 Location: The land of the dulce de leche!
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 Re: Fireman
Add zombies, hyenas, and Illuminati. Oh, and all the Valve video game characters!
_________________ 20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2015, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (
I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!
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Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:37 pm |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
"Yo, Chell! You gon be in the Illuminati?" "Nah, being a lightbulb doesn't seem very fun." "That's only because she ain't very bright..." AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you make me laugh!*le pause of pauses* "UUURGH." "Hey, Gordon, could ya take care of that guy?" "No, shut up, I'm supposed to be in stasis." "You ever get the feeling that this is just some terrible, overly long skit made up on the spot by some guy at a computer screen?" "Urgh." "Yeah, I thought so too..."
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:14 pm |
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RandomGeekNamedBrent
laughing maniacally
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:42 pm Posts: 20538 Location: an invisible, flying volcano over Virginia
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 Re: Fireman
hold on, I need to fix some errors with your skit
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Mickey the Luxray Wrote:
"Yo, Chell! You gon be in the Illuminati?" "..." "That's only because she ain't very bright..." AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you make me laugh!*le pause of pauses* "UUURGH." "Hey, Gordon, could ya take care of that guy?" "..." "You ever get the feeling that this is just some terrible, overly long skit made up on the spot by some guy at a computer screen?" "Urgh." "Yeah, I thought so too..."
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(I wasn't sure which lines were Chell and Gordon, but neither of them speak)
_________________ I'm a shape-shifter. I'm currently in whatever form I feel like Paradigm Shift by me I do not actually believe any of what I'm saying. RP character sheets
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Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:18 pm |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
As much as I appreciate the fix I don't really mind going OOC for them, after all the skit was just a little thing I came up with in a few seconds. I could make a separate fic involving the aforementioned organizations/characters but really I want to finish this one before moving on. God knows how many long-fics I've written ended up as 1k word long oneshots due to wanting to move on to other things. With the promising feedback I'm getting on this I feel that it would be a bit of a disappointment to others to just cancel it or condense it into nothing.
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:26 pm |
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RandomGeekNamedBrent
laughing maniacally
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:42 pm Posts: 20538 Location: an invisible, flying volcano over Virginia
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 Re: Fireman
My comment was a joke, as I am sure was Silly Zealot's comment.
_________________ I'm a shape-shifter. I'm currently in whatever form I feel like Paradigm Shift by me I do not actually believe any of what I'm saying. RP character sheets
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Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:48 pm |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
I knew Zealot's was. My reply to his comment was. but I wasn't too sure about yours...
Oh well. It wouldn't be a smart thing to keep bumping this thread with a discussion on a joke, nor would it be god for any parties involved. Let's just move on, shall we?
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Mon Mar 25, 2013 9:08 am |
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copper
Puppy Wrangler
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm Posts: 6362 Location: Florida
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 Re: Fireman
Oh, it's fine. I try to let creativity flow in here. As long as you don't stray too far into it like commenting on other fics, advertising your own in another thread without consent, or trying to do something outside of the forum rules, I am fine with talking.
_________________ My characters Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
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Mon Mar 25, 2013 7:50 pm |
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Silly Zealot
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am Posts: 1497 Location: The land of the dulce de leche!
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 Re: Fireman
Sooooo, does it mean I can still ask for this fanfic to be narrated by Gordon Freeman? Ooooh, I can already see it: "....." "......" "........"-".......!"-"......." "Sniff" This fanfic's gonna be beatifull.
_________________ 20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2015, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (
I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!
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Mon Mar 25, 2013 10:28 pm |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
"And then the moon." THE END...? up next, the gang goes to... Somewhere exciting!
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Mon Mar 25, 2013 10:45 pm |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
~~~~~ (REMOVED FOR REVISION) ~~~~~
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
Last edited by Mickey the Luxray on Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:42 am, edited 5 times in total.
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Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:05 am |
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Silly Zealot
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am Posts: 1497 Location: The land of the dulce de leche!
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 Re: Fireman
Exposition? More like explosion! (crickets) Joey could have also said "Son of my mother." or "Son of a.... female dog."
_________________ 20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2015, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (
I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!
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Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:20 am |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
I like the second one best, I'ma change it now 0u0
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:26 am |
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valerio
Game Master
Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 am Posts: 18896 Location: Italy
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 Re: Fireman
Well, Mr. Stoneman, there is no need to be so rude! 
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Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:32 am |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
Is it bad that I read "Well, Mr. Stoneman" in G-Man's voice?
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:36 am |
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Silly Zealot
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am Posts: 1497 Location: The land of the dulce de leche!
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 Re: Fireman
Haha! Got you hooked up with Valve now, didn't I? But I think that Joey's original statement fitted perfectly with the housepets! vibe and all of that.
_________________ 20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2015, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (
I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!
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Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:35 am |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
Personally, considering that Joey was dressed up as a cat at that point it would make more sense to use your line. After all, it makes him sound like he almost forgot he was supposed to be acting like a cat.
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:44 am |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
~~~~~ (REMOVED FOR REVISION) ~~~~~
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
Last edited by Mickey the Luxray on Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:54 pm |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
Some random thing that happened while writing the new chapter.
~~bl~~
“Bino, get back in the circle and shut your trap before I hit you with this rock that has come into my possession through means that even I cannot comprehend.” Mr. Bigglesworth wiped off his muzzle as he sat back down. “I must have obtained it as a way to forward the plot and avert an overly long argument over something that I currently have no idea about.”
“This isn’t a story, Mr. Bigglesworth, you don’t need to be one of those creepy guys who acts like they know they’re in one.” Joey looked at Mr. Bigglesworth with an unamused expression.
“How do you know that this isn’t some stupid joke made by some author in an alternate dimension that has now decided that this makes no sense at all, and now whatever happens from the point at which I arrive again and onwards will most likely be erased from our timeline and redone to be more serious?” Mr. Bigglesworth stared ominously into the distance. “I bet he just decided that he was going to erase this timeline completely... Well, it was good knowing you all.” ~~bl~~
You know too much, Mr. Bigglesworth... And I wrote like Regidar for once woohoo
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
Last edited by Mickey the Luxray on Sat Mar 30, 2013 12:42 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Tue Mar 26, 2013 8:39 pm |
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Silly Zealot
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am Posts: 1497 Location: The land of the dulce de leche!
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 Re: Fireman
Poor Mr. Bigglesworth #163, he was too self-aware and vocal for his own good.  Also: Fox: "Okay, Stoneman, truth or dare?" Me: " The truth shall set you free." (gets taken off-screen and brick'd) Fox:" Uuhh.. Right.. So, Stoneman, truth or dare?  " Stoneman: " Errrr....... Truth!" Fox: "Did you use to be human like King over here?" King:" What?! How did-" Stoneman: "Ho, you read the comic too?"
_________________ 20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2015, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (
I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!
Last edited by Silly Zealot on Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:26 pm |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
Poor, Poor Bigglesworth...
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:29 pm |
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copper
Puppy Wrangler
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm Posts: 6362 Location: Florida
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 Re: Fireman
That Bigglesworth was not very smart... you wait until the audience gets emotionally invested in you to break that wall down!
Grape will always get her way then, eh? I hope she and Stoneman get along well enough.He sounds like he needs a good friend!
Looks like Joey suffers from Foot-in-mouth disorder.
_________________ My characters Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
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Tue Mar 26, 2013 11:10 pm |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
~~~~~ (REMOVED FOR REVISION) ~~~~~
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
Last edited by Mickey the Luxray on Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Wed Mar 27, 2013 3:11 pm |
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Silly Zealot
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am Posts: 1497 Location: The land of the dulce de leche!
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 Re: Fireman
But then, it happened, everything went to hell and Stoneman ended up getting killed by a nuclear bomb or something.
_________________ 20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2015, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (
I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too! Many biologists died to bring us this information! Why won't you honor their deaths?! What I did to their families?!
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Wed Mar 27, 2013 4:11 pm |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
And that is why you never eat pancakes with the butter-flavored syrup.
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
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Wed Mar 27, 2013 4:24 pm |
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copper
Puppy Wrangler
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm Posts: 6362 Location: Florida
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 Re: Fireman
I hope it was pet friendly chocolate... I am happy Stoneman is enjoying his new life!
_________________ My characters Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
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Thu Mar 28, 2013 8:57 pm |
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Mickey the Luxray
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am Posts: 970 Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
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 Re: Fireman
~~~~~ (REMOVED FOR REVISION) ~~~~~
_________________ If you want my number, it's #804080.
Last edited by Mickey the Luxray on Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Thu Mar 28, 2013 10:10 pm |
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copper
Puppy Wrangler
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm Posts: 6362 Location: Florida
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 Re: Fireman
Well isn't that a sweet scene~ Seems Stoneman has a lot to deal with, heh. Another interesting update!
_________________ My characters Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
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Fri Mar 29, 2013 11:09 pm |
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