This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 126 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4
Housepets: Silver the cat 
Author Message
laughing maniacally
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:42 pm
Posts: 17263
Location: an invisible, flying volcano over Virginia
Post Re: Housepets: Silver the cat
good update. but to be honest, I've forgotten a lot about your story in the gap between your updates.

_________________
I'm a shape-shifter. I'm currently in whatever form I feel like
Image
Paradigm Shift by me
I do not actually believe any of what I'm saying.
RP character sheets


Mon Nov 07, 2011 3:33 am
Profile YIM
Game Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 am
Posts: 14970
Location: Italy
Post Re: Housepets: Silver the cat
awww, dentist :( :(
Though, i couldn't trust any dentist with such a staff! I may be scared to death by them butchers, but I want them to be sharp and kind.
Also, Silver keeps on being magnet to cuteness :D :D

_________________
Image
Image


Mon Nov 07, 2011 6:44 am
Profile WWW
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 1644
Location: Singing Fortepiano
Post Re: Housepets: Silver the cat
Silver was lucky. When I went to dentist, all I remember was that nasty dentical drill that felt like it was piercing my brain xD

I was wondering where on earth have you been, TMH. But I'm glad you still remembered about your fic =) By the way, how were your exams?

I must tell you that I like Steve's dialogues. There are moments where his words determine his originality.

Only one thing:

Quote:
Steve tapped with fingers...

Steve noticed a bit dusty old fashion bell...


It's better to not use the same word from the beginning of the previous paragraph when you start a new one, because stylistically it doesn't look good. Since you already started Steve's action, it will be better to use in next paragraph word "he" since we will know it's still the same guy we focus on.

There are also some typos, but I'm sure you'll find them out :)
Hope to see next update soon.

_________________
Image

I'm a bookworm!
Currently reading: "Lord Jim" by Joseph Conrad


Mon Nov 07, 2011 5:23 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:38 pm
Posts: 2915
Location: The Moon
Post Re: Housepets: Silver the cat
That was intentional, Karlos. Lamp-shading on the failed tries, so to say.

_________________
I am The Moon Howler - the being with no exact form. I serve the Moon Goddess and in return, she gives me my muse and my shape.

Housepets: Silver the Cat! fanfic

Image

My RP Characters


Tue Nov 08, 2011 12:23 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 1644
Location: Singing Fortepiano
Post Re: Housepets: Silver the cat
The Moon Howler wrote:
That was intentional, Karlos. Lamp-shading on the failed tries, so to say.


Ah. Ok then :)

_________________
Image

I'm a bookworm!
Currently reading: "Lord Jim" by Joseph Conrad


Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:07 pm
Profile
Puppy Wrangler
User avatar

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Posts: 6312
Location: Florida
Post Re: Housepets: Silver the cat
Aww, SIlver! I had no idea Cat's could look like Puppies! :lol:

One little thing. Vets and vet techs do the dental stuff. No need for the word dentist at all. The More You Know.... *Shooting Rainbow Star Flies By*

_________________
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image


Mon Nov 14, 2011 2:18 am
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.   [ 126 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by ST Software for PTF.