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Puppy Wrangler
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Post Preview, I guess.
This is a christmas story that, unfortunately, will have to take place after Christmas. I just took on a holiday job, so I won't have much time to work on it. I may just scrap it, I don't know, but I would like some feedback if I could get it. This is just the smallest of snippets, though. This is not even the main part of the story, just the intro. I really just put this up to justify it as a Christmas story by putting it up before Christmas Day. :lol:

Christmas is a time of joy for people and pets alike. It is when we all put aside the pettiness of our daily lives and enjoy each other’s company. We all want to give rather than receive. Pets especially revel in this all-encompassing feeling of jubilance. Well, most pets…

The pets of Babylon Gardens always enjoyed the Christmas holiday. The snow seemed whiter, the air crisp and clean, and the rays of sunlight seemed to be just a little warmer. Cats could be seen on the rooftops, playing with the lights or having a little nap in the sun. Dogs could be seen energetically dodging snowballs, building snowmen, and just having fun until they passed out in the snow, panting from their exertions. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, all except for a couple slowly making their way down the street.

“ But Beeny-weeny, he’s not so bad, why don’t you just try-“ The beautiful white German shepherd was trying to say, her pink eyes looking pleadingly at her boyfriend.

“No! I know his type. He thinks he can just march here out of nowhere and take over. Well, I won’t let him! He is not going to take everything away from me. I’ll expose that little Napoleon if it’s the last thing that I do!” Beeny-weeny, better known as Bino, interrupted.

Sasha knew that Bino had entered into one of his Paranoid fits, which meant that no one could talk any sense into him, but she couldn’t help but try. She loved Bino, but the particular pet that was the origin of his current rant was a touchy subject for her. She really enjoyed spending time with the little guy.

“ Beeny-weeny, please. Just let him join the club. He’s so cute and tiny! Plus, he made me that nifty little insulated dog house. Now I don’t have to sleep in the cold. Fido and Fox both want him in, so why don’t you agree?”

“ Why are you so set on that corgi, anyway?” Bino eyed Sasha suspiciously, “Do you actually like him!?” Sasha’s expression told him all he needed to know. “You do like him, don’t you? Well, if that’s the case, then it’s over between us!”
Sasha was shocked. “But Beeny poo-“

“No! Go ahead and go to King if that’s what you want! Just don’t come crying to me when he rejects you like your dad! You are clueless! He is just charming you to get closer to me. You’ll see, once he takes over the Good Ol’ Dogs Club, he’ll dump you. I know I’m right. No one believes me, but I’m right, I know I am! I’ll prove it eventually.” With that he stormed off, leaving a teary-eyed Sasha staring at him leave.

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Tue Dec 21, 2010 6:16 am
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
it's good... Cry Some More! HA HA HAAaa!

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Tue Dec 21, 2010 8:13 am
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Wow, Bino's being particularly jerk today, hm? I guess it takes caffeine to calm him down, the grumpy lad

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Tue Dec 21, 2010 9:13 am
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Excellent start copper. Very well written and descriptive. I hope to see much more of your story. Despite previous comments I have read with you claiming your literary skills, you CAN write very well and you have done a very wonderful job thus far.


Tue Dec 21, 2010 9:33 am
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
An excellent start to what I believe will be an excellent story. If you're that concerned about missing Christmas with it though, maybe you should consider saving it for next year. Ya know, work on it and polish it up between now and then.

*shrugs* Just a thought from a fan. :)


Tue Dec 21, 2010 11:16 am
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Bino would make a great conspiracy theorist, lol. Not only you come up with good though on the Wild Mass Guessing thread, you also came up with a great preview. I say I like where this fic is going and good job on the introduction. So thus this will be a great read.(I wonder, what is Bino afraid of?)


Tue Dec 21, 2010 11:46 am
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
You see Copper? You were so afraid of your writing skills and it seems you shouldn't have been :)

Your preview seems to be fine. It caught my attention. And now I wait for the beginning.

Enjoy your Christmas :) And when you will feel the need to write, just sit near your PC and unleash what your mind created.

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Tue Dec 21, 2010 11:53 am
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Bino is stupidly paranoid in this one...

Awesome writing there, Copper. I don't see why you think your writing sucks; I see a very good story written by someone who needs to write more. :P

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Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:13 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Tha Housedog wrote:
Bino is stupidly paranoid in this one...

Awesome writing there, Copper. I don't see why you think your writing sucks; I see a very good story written by someone who needs to write more. :P

I agree with T.H. Your clever story ideas...with this quality of writing...you have nothing to worry about. ;3

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Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:26 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
THIS IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! The characters are so REAL!! :D

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Tue Dec 21, 2010 4:04 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Hey this is good!
The writing I mean. Not the Binoness. The Binoness is mean.

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Tue Dec 21, 2010 7:52 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
*facepalms* Ugh!

Please disregard what this post said before.
A little advice, never try to post on a forum when you have been awake for 36 hours straight. It will not turn out well.

Thank you all for your wonderful comments, I really enjoyed them. I am grateful to you all for that. I'll go ahead and write this when I have some free time.

Anything related to the fic will be done in this color, which is surprisingly similar to the color of copper, in my opinion. I probably won't even be able to start writing until early to mid January, but it will come. I just can't seem to find any free time since I picked up this holiday job. :?

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Tue Dec 21, 2010 10:00 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Since I won't be able to complete this for some time, I have decided to give another little preview. I cannot judge how good anything I write is, since I think it's all crap, but I hope you enjoy this short read.This preview is part of the same story, of course, so I hope it makes you want to read the eventual story even more. This will be a good fic, I hope. Anywho, tell me what you think, and if it stinks, tell me. How else am I going to learn? :D



Fido was trying his best to console the sobbing dog before him, but it was no use. Whatever Bino had said, it had devastated Peanut.

“WHAT DID YOU DO FIDO!!!!!”

Fido turned around just in time to be tackled by a purple blur. It took him a second to realize what had happened, and another minute to extricate himself from the cat that was attempting to maul him.

“Grape, calm down. I found him like this. I had just gotten him to start telling me who did this to him when you interrupted. I am sorry to say that my brother is somehow involved, it seems.”

“So Bino had something to do with this, mutt?” The black cat standing behind Grape made sure to emphasize that last word for effect as he showed his signature Cheshire grin. “ Sounds like a matter for the GODC, Grape so let’s just continue our little stroll. I’m sure Mr. Goody-Goody here will straighten out whatever my much beloved canine brother did to the poor wretch that was once Peanut.”

Grape returned the grin, and wrapped her arms around Max. “Oh, Maxie, you know I love you. However-“ Max jumped a little as he felt a claw dig into his neck. Grape continued with a hiss in her voice, “If I ever hear you say something so callous about Peanut again, I will have to cause you bodily harm on par with what Bino suffers. Do you understand me Maxie? Because I’d hate to scar such a handsome face.”

Max could only gulp loudly and nod his head as a sign that he understood her.

“Good. Now as penance, you are going to help Fido with Peanut.” She paused for a second, and her face suddenly got serious, “And I expect both of you to deal with Bino. His two brothers ought to help him a little. He might listen to one of you…” She looked at Max, then Fido, then at Peanut, who was still crying into his knees before continuing, “ Unless you want ME to deal with him.”

With that last remark she strode past Peanut and slammed the door shut. Fido and Max could tell that she was more than a little angry at seeing Peanut in the condition she had found him.

“I wouldn’t want to be Bino right now.” Fido said, a tremor of fear in his voice.

“Tell me about it! I know from experience what an angry Grape is like. I’m starting to feel sorry for Bino!” Max said, rubbing his neck. “Maybe we should talk to him after we deal with this one.”

Max gestured with his paw toward Peanut, who had stopped crying, but was rocking back and forth with open eyes wildly staring off into some great invisible void. “So. How do you want to do this?”

I hope you like this little preview. If you want more then I might give one last preview sometime next week, but no promises! I still need to work out a few kinks in the story. Bino is causing a lot of problems, huh? ;)

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 9:27 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
My word. WHAT DID HE DO TO PEANUT!?
It was an awesome read, Copper. You shouldn't listen to yourself...but obey that fairy.

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 9:29 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Thanks, Tha Housedog, I'll try to listen to her more. I can't believe I just said that.

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 9:36 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Now I'm Really taken a like to this, any story were Bino makes Peanut cry is good in my book~

Cry Some More! HA HA HAAaa!

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 9:40 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
KizerZin wrote:
Now I'm Really taken a like to this, any story were Bino makes Peanut cry is good in my book~

Cry Some More! HA HA HAAaa!


Oh, KizerZin, you know that the darkness never lasts! :roll:

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and the train isn't going to crash before it gets there. :)

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 10:30 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
copper wrote:
KizerZin wrote:
Now I'm Really taken a like to this, any story were Bino makes Peanut cry is good in my book~

Cry Some More! HA HA HAAaa!


Oh, KizerZin, you know that the darkness never lasts! :roll:

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and the train isn't going to crash before it gets there. :)

That's my new favorite quote ever.

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 10:31 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
What quote. Wait...
:o
Are you saying that I am actually Quotable!?!?!? That's Awesome!!

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 10:36 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Copper, don't ever try to doubt your self with this writing. Gesh, what Bino did to Peanut this time? This second preview was awesome, the feelings you put into this was great.


Sat Dec 25, 2010 10:39 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Aww, thanks, Barkeron! I'm touched! I'll try to remember that next time I want to delete something I wrote.

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 10:54 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Tha Housedog wrote:
My word. WHAT DID HE DO TO PEANUT!?
It was an awesome read, Copper. You shouldn't listen to yourself...but obey that fairy.

OBEY OBEY OBEY OBEY OBEY OBEY OBEY

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 10:56 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Private Elliot wrote:
Tha Housedog wrote:
My word. WHAT DID HE DO TO PEANUT!?
It was an awesome read, Copper. You shouldn't listen to yourself...but obey that fairy.

OBEY OBEY OBEY OBEY OBEY OBEY OBEY


Clearly you have not met the drunken fairy. Be glad of that fact.

Her constant rants do have the advantage of giving me good ideas, but she slaps me if I don't write well or ignore her. :(

Thanks for the praise, though, Private Elliot.It is greatly appreciated! :)

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:04 pm
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Post And knowing is half the battle!
Remember kids, just because I don't comment does not mean I didn't read the update ;)

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:08 pm
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Post Re: And knowing is half the battle!
Private Elliot wrote:
Remember kids, just because I don't comment does not mean I didn't read the update ;)


But you did comment. :|

I am going to write a fanfic here, so I am expecting some art from you, Private Elliot! I haven't forgotten about it. You better start drawing! :twisted:

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:11 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
B-B-But I can't draw!
Okay so I can but what if it sucks and people hate it and everyone starts laughing and then the Earth BLOWS UP!
Okay, that may just be a worst case scenario...

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:20 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Copper, like I said before, your writing style is at a reasonably high and perfectly acceptable level for fan-fiction writing. X3

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:21 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
lightwolf21 wrote:
Copper, like I said before, your writing style is at a reasonably high and perfectly acceptable level for fan-fiction writing. X3

It's higher than the level I was at when I started writing fanfics.

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:23 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Private Elliot wrote:
B-B-But I can't draw!
Okay so I can but what if it sucks and people hate it and everyone starts laughing and then the Earth BLOWS UP!
Okay, that may just be a worst case scenario...


Yes. The world will end because you drawing skills are subpar. :|

You won't get any better unless you keep at it. And a little constructive criticism could do wonders in helping you. Besides, I don't think that your drawing is that bad. I would love to see it.

@ Lightwolf21- Is that a good thing? Thanks for the compliment, I guess. :lol:

@ Tha Housedog- I'm older than you and have had more practice. You writing skills are probably better than mine, but that's just me saying it.

This will technically be my second time writing something outside of school, so I don't expect much from it. My first was the ATKM entry I submitted.

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:30 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
OUTSTANDING WORK! Very well written with wonderful depictions of action and emotion. Excellent dialogue as well. I can't wait for another update this is REALLY good.


Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:43 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Aww, shucks, y'all are making me blush, here! If you guys don't stop complimenting me, I might actually get some confidence! :lol:

Thank you Samson,but these are just previews. I might do one more before I start to write the actual fanfic. I am glad for your enthusiasm, it makes me so happy! I will try to start the story ASAP, so that you will have to wait as short a time as possible. :D


The title of this fanfic will be called The Housepets! Players Present... Yes. That title will do nicely. Look out for it in January! ;)

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Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:49 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
I have a massive bucket filled to its brim of steaming, buttery popcorn ready for this wonderful read you shall present us with.


Sun Dec 26, 2010 12:03 am
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
copper wrote:
@ Lightwolf21- Is that a good thing? Thanks for the compliment, I guess. :lol:

Of course it's a good thing. I would love to see you go through with this. ;3

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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
copper wrote:
@ Tha Housedog- I'm older than you and have had more practice. You writing skills are probably better than mine, but that's just me saying it.

I'm the one with more practice. But you're still at a very good place for a starter fanfic writer. You just need to get your ideas down and keep them, not delete them. Don't be like Elliot. Just as everybody wants to see his art, I desperately want to see this fic completed.

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Sun Dec 26, 2010 12:13 am
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Quote:
Since I won't be able to complete this for some time, I have decided to give another little preview. I cannot judge how good anything I write is, since I think it's all crap, but I hope you enjoy this short read.This preview is part of the same story, of course, so I hope it makes you want to read the eventual story even more. This will be a good fic, I hope. Anywho, tell me what you think, and if it stinks, tell me. How else am I going to learn? :D

The only thing that stinks, here, Cop, is your unreasonable, illogic belief that you can't write.
This said, I hope you post soon your story, and in case of (OMYLORDTHEUNSPEAKABLEHORROR!!) typos, we'll let you know.
How are we otherwise supposed to know how GOOD you are, if you keep selling yourself so short?
Postpostpostpostpostpostpostpostpost...

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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
valerio wrote:
The only thing that stinks, here, Cop, is your unreasonable, illogical belief that you can't write.
How are we otherwise supposed to know how GOOD you are, if you keep selling yourself so short?


My thoughts exactly. If Copper can come up with some good guesses in the Wild Mass Guessing thread, then he can sure come up with some good writing. Not all of us start off as good writers you know. I do some writing myself and I always improving. :mrgreen:


Last edited by Barkeron on Thu Jan 06, 2011 10:46 am, edited 1 time in total.



Sun Dec 26, 2010 9:51 am
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Alright then. Waiting for January then ;)

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Sun Dec 26, 2010 2:53 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
I'll go ahead and do one more preview sometime next week to tide you over until I can find some free time to write this story. I can't believe that you all like this. Eh, live and learn, I guess. :roll:

Yeah. About that illogical belief, I've heard it from enough reliable sources to believe. It'll take a while for that to go away, I guess. Who knows, maybe three years without writing anything was just what I needed to improve my literary skills! :lol:

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Sun Dec 26, 2010 8:14 pm
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copper wrote:
I'll go ahead and do one more preview sometime next week to tide you over until I can find some free time to write this story. I can't believe that you all like this. Eh, live and learn, I guess. :roll:

Yeah. About that illogical belief, I've heard it from enough reliable sources to believe. It'll take a while for that to go away, I guess. Who knows, maybe three years without writing anything was just what I needed to improve my literary skills! :lol:


The greatest inventors, leaders, writers, and diplomats of the Earth were all rejected at least once throughout their lives. Now their names echo throughout not only pop culture but history as well. You have the talent to join these names oh copper.


Sun Dec 26, 2010 10:21 pm
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Post Re: Preview, I guess.
Samson wrote:
copper wrote:
I'll go ahead and do one more preview sometime next week to tide you over until I can find some free time to write this story. I can't believe that you all like this. Eh, live and learn, I guess. :roll:

Yeah. About that illogical belief, I've heard it from enough reliable sources to believe. It'll take a while for that to go away, I guess. Who knows, maybe three years without writing anything was just what I needed to improve my literary skills! :lol:


The greatest inventors, leaders, writers, and diplomats of the Earth were all rejected at least once throughout their lives. Now their names echo throughout not only pop culture but history as well. You have the talent to join these names oh copper.


Yeah, I doubt the name Allan Sinclair will echo through time. It just doesn't have that ring to it. And remember, samson, for every one great talent that fulfilled their destiny, there were thousands left by the wayside by circumstance. It takes more than talent to become great. I lack the drive and ambition,at least for now. :lol:

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