Wildcats- a Fan Fiction all about Grape.

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Luna werewolf
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Wildcats- a Fan Fiction all about Grape.

Post by Luna werewolf »

Hello everybody. this is my fan fic. I'd like to dedicate it to that dude-who-likes-king-and-helped-me.

WILD CATSChapter one: “Who let the cat out? Who? Who?”The sky was black, dotted with stars. Grape walked through Mister Alistair’s corn field. The corn’s ears tickled her fur, and scratched her face. Grape’s tail flicked and twirled. Grape stretched her arms up to the sky and giggled loudly. She rarely felt the prickly corn on her soft fur. She stopped running and lay down next to the pond and drank some water. A mouse wandered out from the corn, saw Grape, and tried to make a break for it. Grape was too quick, and stuffed it in her mouth. She sighed, and fell in to a blissful sleep.
“Oh, don’t worry Tea, it’s just a lil’ pet. Look at that fish on her collar” The gruff voice meowed, waking Grape up, from her blissful sleep. Two cats were sitting in front of Grape. One was a small, scruffy orange cat, and the other was a huge tabby with many battle scars. “Who are you?” Grape asked, getting up. “I am Kay, and this is Tea. We are on patrol of our border and we spotted you, a lazy, stupid pet cat” Kay meowed. Grape arched her back and hissed “What did you just call me?” Grape leapt and the old tom, and went head over heels in a ferocious fight. Paws and tails were flying everywhere. Grape had the element of surprise, but Kay was much bigger, so eventually Kay won. Grape was lying on the floor, panting. “You leave us alone, House pet” Kay hissed in Grape’s ear. The two wild-cats walked off, and Grape saw Tea look back at her.
****************
“Wow, Grape, you look in a bad way” Alley said, looking concerned. Alley was the kindest of the barn cats, and had a soft spot for Grape. Grape yawned; it was way too early in the morning for her liking. “Yeah, I got in a fight with a wild-cat” Grape replied and sat on a hay bail. Alley tutted and looked at Grape’s wounds. “They’re getting a lil’ ambitious now and again. Ya, they ‘aint nice when they think ya on their land,” Alley told Grape, putting some bandages on Grape’s cuts and bruises. “Oh, it’s that cute lil’ town cat again! Where’s that lil’ bouncy doggy that follows you everywhere?” a friendly cat’s voice called from the rafters. Maggie the brown barn cat leapt from the rafters and settled next to Alley. “Hi Maggie,” Grape meowed. Alley finished tying the bandages, and told Maggie “this lil’ ‘um ‘as got herself in a scruff with the wild cats over the way”. Maggie nodded, “In Mr. Alistair’s corn field” Maggie said knowingly.

The next instalment will come A.S.A.P.
Forever bored,
Forever excited,
Forever in love,
Forever lonely,
Forever understood,
Forever misunderstood,
Forever bad,
Forever good,
We are everything.
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copper
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Re: Wildcats- a Fan Fiction all about Grape.

Post by copper »

Well, it is an interesting start. I can't wait to see where you take it. And of course they are back on the farm. Awesome!
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Blue Braixen
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Re: Wildcats- a Fan Fiction all about Grape.

Post by Blue Braixen »

Veddy intedesting. *giggles* It's a great start.

One question: where is the bouncy dog that follows her everywhere?
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Karl
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Re: Wildcats- a Fan Fiction all about Grape.

Post by Karl »

It's kinda hard to read. Narration and dialogues are in one line and this mix makes me confused when I read because it's difficult to guess what's going on is your story. Maybe you should think on making paragraphs so your story will be more clear to read.
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Luna werewolf
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Re: Wildcats- a Fan Fiction all about Grape.

Post by Luna werewolf »

Thank you for your posts, I hope this is easier to read.


Chapter two: Sacrifice

Grape stared out of the darkness. She had been feeling hungry so she had gone out for a mouse. Dusk was breaking, the sky was growing dark. Soon it would be pitch black. Something rustled in the bushes. Grape’s head swivelled around to see the dark bushes outside the barn we moving. Grape shuddered. An orange cat head poked out from the bushes. Grape sighed “Tea! What are you doing here?” Tea crawled out and hung his head “I...I thought you might want to see where we live...” he mumbled. Grape brightened up “Yes, it will be just like Pride-lands book 12 chapter 16 page 134 to 145” Grape meowed. Tea looked confused “Pride-whatsit? Huh?” Grape meowed “Never mind, it’ll be cool” Tea looked Grape in the eyes and asked “What’s your name?” Grape grinned, “Grape Jelly Sandwich” Tea grinned “awesome name”. “I know” Grape replied, matching Tea’s Goofy grin. Tea suggested “Should we get going?” Grape nodded. “I’ll show you Weed Camp first!” Tea said.
************
“This is the Weed camp” Tea whispered. Grape crept next to Tea, looking out over the clearing. There were two wooden houses. A fire was burning in the middle of camp. A group of cats were leaping around a fire. “Wow” Grape muttered. “This is the sacrificial ceremony, they do it every month” Tea whispered. Grape shuddered at the word ‘Sacrificial’. They started chanting in unison, it sounded like “Who-waka-who-waka-ha-ha-who-waka-who-waka-ha-ha” over and over. An old cat with scars and a necklace of skulls dangling from his neck padded out of one hut and sat on the rock on the other side of the fire from where Grape and Tea hid. The old cat took out a huge, browning drum, and banged it with a bone, to the tune of the chanting. A young girl-cat with a dried grass dress, beaded necklace and face paint that covered her high cheek bones ran out and sang:

“Oh mighty god you are the sun that’s shining,
You are the wind that moves the tree,
You make all plants green,
If I had my way,
I join you flying,”

The young cat sang beautifully, she sang it over and over, joining the choir of cat’s voices. The young cat didn’t join the prance around the fire, she sang with passion, but her face betrayed her disgust of things still to come. Grape’s eyes drifted from the fire to the opposite hut to the one the old cat had come out of. Sounds of a scuffle were coming from it. Grape’s attention was drawn back to the old cat, when he announced “Mighty sun god, we offer you the ultimate sacrifice, a pet dog”. Out of the hut came a bedraggled, damp, injured, crying, but still recognisable dog... “Peanut!!!” Grape meowed in distress.

The next one will be soon.
Forever bored,
Forever excited,
Forever in love,
Forever lonely,
Forever understood,
Forever misunderstood,
Forever bad,
Forever good,
We are everything.
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Coatl_Ruu
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Re: Wildcats- a Fan Fiction all about Grape.

Post by Coatl_Ruu »

Hmm... looks like you're off to an interesting start here. I just have one bit of advice to give you. In writing, the usual convention is to start an new paragraph any time the speaker changes. So ...
Tea looked confused “Pride-whatsit? Huh?” Grape meowed “Never mind, it’ll be cool” Tea looked Grape in the eyes and asked “What’s your name?” Grape grinned, “Grape Jelly Sandwich” Tea grinned “awesome name”. “I know” Grape replied, matching Tea’s Goofy grin.
Would be easier to read as:
Tea looked confused “Pride-whatsit? Huh?”

Grape meowed “Never mind, it’ll be cool”

Tea looked Grape in the eyes and asked “What’s your name?”

Grape grinned, “Grape Jelly Sandwich”

Tea grinned “awesome name”.

“I know” Grape replied, matching Tea’s Goofy grin.
That way it's easier to tell who's speaking.
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Luna werewolf
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Re: Wildcats- a Fan Fiction all about Grape.

Post by Luna werewolf »

thanks for the advice!!:)
Forever bored,
Forever excited,
Forever in love,
Forever lonely,
Forever understood,
Forever misunderstood,
Forever bad,
Forever good,
We are everything.
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copper
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Re: Wildcats- a Fan Fiction all about Grape.

Post by copper »

Nice little update. I can't wait to see where this goes.

Oh no, Peanut! What will Grape do now?
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Luna werewolf
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Re: Wildcats- a Fan Fiction all about Grape.

Post by Luna werewolf »

I hope you like the last chapter of this fan fiction.

Chapter three: Grape to the rescue

“Grape, it’s too dangerous--” Tea started, but Grape had already flung herself across the clearing. The dancers scattered as the purple cat flew over the fire and collided with the old cat on the rock. The two cats rolled over and over. Grape fought like she’d never fought before. The old cat growled and sank his teeth into Grape’s purple neck. Pain flooded Grape’s body, and she whined. Grape kicked out wildly, and, by chance, one of her paws hit one of the old cat’s battle scars on his shoulder, and he let go of Grape’s neck and stumbled back and fell on the dusty ground.

“Grape wins” The girl singer meowed. Warm blood trickled down Grape’s front and dripped onto the floor. Grape stumbled and toppled back.

“Graaaaape” Peanut yelled, standing over her. Peanut went out of focus in front of Grape’s eyes.

Black filled her eyes now. Grape didn’t know how long she lay there. But Grape could still think.
“Poor Peanut. Actually, poor me, I’m dead for heaven’s sake. But still. If I die peanut will be scared for life... It’s so blissful floating through here. Am I dead?” Grape thought. She would shudder...if she could move...

*****************
Bright lights stung Grape’s eyes. Being alive brought back all the pain that being dead had taken; every hair on Grape’s body stung and ached. For a few moments Grape wandered where she was. Then it struck her. She was lying on her back; in the barn were the barn cats lived. Grape was happy she was alive, but let out a moan of pain.

“Grape! Your alive!” Peanut yelled, and rushed over to her.

“Yes, But I feel really, really bad,” Grape moaned.

“And the brave, if a lil’ foolish pussycat lives” Alley meowed, and called to her housemates “ Grape’s awake!”

Grape looked down on herself. Blood had crusted some of her fur, and a few scratches covered her legs. Grape felt her neck, under the bandages. The bight mark was there.

“What has happened to my cat?” Earl sandwich growled, storming past the vet. “Grape” Earl said, and gently picked up Grape, and took her into the car.

THE END!
Forever bored,
Forever excited,
Forever in love,
Forever lonely,
Forever understood,
Forever misunderstood,
Forever bad,
Forever good,
We are everything.
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copper
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Re: Wildcats- a Fan Fiction all about Grape.

Post by copper »

Well, that was an interesting end. Kind of left us dangling there, but it was okay.

One little thing. Please be a bit less descriptive with wounds next time. No need to get too gory. This was okay, but any more may be pushing it....
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