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My eye is not a hard drive (my short story) 
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Post My eye is not a hard drive (my short story)
EDIT: Oops, apologies for misplacing the thread, looks like I didn't go deep enough within the layers of the forums ^^' (yeah yeah, I know, a bit cliché inception joke). Wouldn't even notice if there weren't "Moved" version on the layer up)

My attempt to create a short, a bit surreal story. Do you get what's actually going on/what it is about? :3
Read it on DA: ... -293603148
Read it on FA:


Alwrin tripped over and turned into a lemon. "Careful!" shouted Fradrys, "And don't put your paws into the mouths, they will eat your soul and turn it into lemonade that will pour from them afterwards." Two friends were climbing a tall, ancient-looking wall covered with incomprehensible oranges and odd, hollow, clay mouths protruding from the surface that rather resembled beaks, though for no unknown reason, everyone called them mouths, maybe because the odd feeling you get when you stared at them, feeling that they stare back at you, without eyes, just thousands and thousands long dead strawberries from the past, captured in an infinite block of concrete, forever, forced to stare back at you only with their food insertion points.

Despite the fact that Alwrin and Fradrys were climbing vertically, they were running horizontally, therefore solving the inconsistency of tripping over and introducing another one, just as inconspicuously as wooden apple steals a stack of diagonally arranged staples. "Hurry!" shouted Fradrys at Alwrin again, grabbed his paw and pulled. Suddenly, the vertically positioned horizontal ancient wall slightly tilted by a mere fraction of a blueberry pi which resulted in both furs slowly sliding upwards. An army of spiky tomatoes suddenly spawned about a kilometer away from them and quickly started bouncing upwards, threatening the lives of the fluffy friends, with no intention of becoming a part of a fruit salad.

"Look!" shouted Fradrys for a third time and pointed at the quickly approaching culinary vegetable danger and proceeded with even faster running pattern that Alwrin quickly copied as well. After a series of short mathematical calculations, mostly involving three dimensional coordinates with a hint of fourth dimension, Fradrys came to a fruity conclusion: oranges are not glowing. Of course this statement may make little sense to ordinary observer, but because Alwrin was aware of the universal fruit-state language, he knew they were not going to make it, unless… Fradrys grabbed Alwrin's paw again and pulled with a force greater than is the greatens of the King Greater Great III, ruler of the land of Greatlania, located on the planet Greatus, orbiting around a great blue giant in the Greator solar system, located in the Great quadrant of the galaxy. The concrete wall flipped in response to this action and both Fradrys and Alwrin fell into a moderate amount of light, somewhere between total darkness and The light, with capital T of course.

Fradrys awoke first on a beach and surprisingly didn't shout the following: "Well this is cliché" and fell unconscious again.

Fradrys and Alwrin awoke simultaneously in a box, however due to high imprecision of the awake-measurement device, it is very well possible there was actually delay up to 10 milliseconds. "Yaaay an unopened box!" was the sound of Fradrys' return to his shouting habit, followed by impatient unwrapping of the box from the inside by Fradrys, only to find himself inside of it. Fradrys made a disappointed grunt, threw himself away and walked near a switch on the wall, which was painted with banana color. After a short, though according to some opinions a long and careful examination of the switch he punched it, only to find out that the wall is actually made from clay bricks.

Meanwhile, Alwrin sneaked over and sniffed Fradrys' paw, because it was now bleeding marmalade. To his surprise a dirt mouth emerged from the grass covered ground and began to eat the aforementioned fruit product with a creepy smile. Alwrin jumped in startleship, however Fradrys showed his bravery in a form of stomping on the dirt mouth. Just a few Planck times before the contact of his fur covered feet with the ground, the r in the grass turned to l and the resulting ground material shattered into seven thousands of little pieces.

Alwrin opened his left eye for a second and closed it. Alwrin opened his right eye for a second and closed it. Alwrin opened his middle eye for a second and closed it. Then he realized he doesn't have any and made a clicking sound with the realization that he was lying to himself from the whole beginning.

hug_overflow.asm Wrote:
LOOP: HUG #Peanut, #Grape

Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:59 pm
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Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:30 pm
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Post Re: My eye is not a hard drive (my short story)
Hmmmm how do i pit this it was hard to follow at times a great idea taking into context the surreal but i think it was a bit rushed altogether. Made me smile a few times and laugh at one bit but just take it slower and keep it up!

Hello, the names Drake :)

Fri Aug 22, 2014 2:36 pm
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