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Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 10:20 am
by JeffCvt
Alright, added my human partner. I am now done.

I hope Valero doesn't mind if I left things kind of open in both descriptions. I like to see where his awesome mind will take it, and leaving it open gives him the chance to really turn these into his characters.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 12:35 pm
by valerio
D-Singer fills the number 9 slot! :D
Breeeent, better hurry up! :shock:

Also, thanks Jeff, I ain't worthy! :oops:

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 12:44 pm
by Cerberusx
I forget Val. Are you adding a character? Since the security team will need a team leader.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 12:53 pm
by valerio
That position is already filled by my own choice, and it will be revealed in the next episode

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 12:54 pm
by Cerberusx
Sweet. I can't wait!

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 2:05 pm
by RandomGeekNamedBrent
valerio wrote:Breeeent, better hurry up! :shock:
what?
but I already gave you my characters. Obbl's the one with the half finished character sheet.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 2:52 pm
by valerio
*facedesks repeatedly* My bad. Sorry

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 2:54 pm
by Obbl
I'm almost done. I'm researching the Second Congo War (which means I first need to understand the First Congo War -_-) so I can write Amar's background and figure him out better. It'll include more about Elsa, so things may change a little. I should be able to finish today. :D

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 2:56 pm
by RandomGeekNamedBrent
isn't research for character sheets fun?
I had to research minimum age to join the NYPD, how long it takes to make Detective, and requirements to join the CIA before I could make my characters.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 3:02 pm
by Obbl
The number of tabs I have open :shock:

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 3:26 pm
by RandomGeekNamedBrent
Val, I edited a couple extra "other notes" into my submission. Iris and Sarah can both speak Japanese, because fluency in another language is a good thing in the CIA.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 3:31 pm
by D-Singer
Slight alteration to my character sheets. Felt the need to better explain the personalities and add a few more pieces of gear and details.


I'm actually surprised by how advanced some of the equipment they've developed has become.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 4:18 pm
by valerio
modification inserted.
Guys, I feel honored for the effort you put into this, I promise I won't waste a thing about these guys :D

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 4:54 pm
by Cerberusx
I also made some...a lot of changes. Mainly fixing up sentences to sound better and removing amd adding a few things I forgot to add. :?

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 10:06 pm
by GameCobra
Made some changes to Sodina and Cathy's training. Didn't want them to feel anti-gun when they are clearly trained to use them, yet express their distaste for them. And who doesn't hate police Caps? (Sodina don't. D:)

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 12:48 am
by Obbl
OK, I think that's Elsa and Amar.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 12:52 am
by RandomGeekNamedBrent
Update: every slot's filled, you missed your chance too bad losers =P
nah, but seriously, there'll probably be another one somewhere down the line

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 12:58 am
by Obbl
Oh, and sorry Brent, Amar was going to be my attempt to fill in your idea of a boy who everyone thinks is a girl, but by the time he was a few seconds old there was no way it was going to happen. If there was any doubt just looking at him, the first words out of his mouth would be a dead giveaway. :lol:

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 2:11 am
by RandomGeekNamedBrent
yeah, I knew it wouldn't really work for this one. After all, this is a job where even the girls kinda have to be tomboys, so the guys can't really be effeminite.

But thanks for reminding me I had that Idea, cause there happens to be another character creation contest going on now

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 5:03 am
by valerio
to the mods: this thread can be locked now.
Thank you all for participating, guys!
The identity of the boss is going to be revealed in next episode! 8-)

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 4:34 pm
by Cerberusx
Oh one last thing. I forgot to add what unit Marcus was in, during his Army career. It's the 1st Ranger Battalion. I put that in. Also no one really knows how much PMC soldiers of Academi previously known as Xe Services LLC, Blackwater USA and Blackwater Worldwide. Really make, what I found was what it's believed to be from some anonymous sources and etc.

Sorry! :?

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 4:41 pm
by valerio
added corrections, thank you.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:14 am
by RandomGeekNamedBrent
unlocked now
I think. If not, I'll have to ask Diss to do it

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:33 am
by valerio
Since, and quite reasonably so, I was asked if the winners of this latest contest wanted to add something to their CSs, well, this is your chance. Only 1 update remains to my ficcie, after that I'll use a day to study again the new characters, so this means that probably next episode will see the light either Sunday or monday.
So:

HONORABLE INTENTIONS

GAVIN

RANDOMGEEKNAMEDBRENT

GAMECOBRA

MUSCLECAR326

JEFFCVT

OBBL

KAVVIYENTA

CERBERUSX

D-SINGER, SIR!

This is your chance to update your CS before the end of Saturday (Sunday morning for me) comes.

Thank you for your attention and participation


(OK, Brent - If you haven't removed the other thread please do so now, thank you)

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:36 am
by RandomGeekNamedBrent
Fan projects is out of my domain. I just have control over every dead thread in the dead thread bed.

Edit: I got Diss to delete it

Edit again: I updated my characters.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 5:48 am
by D-Singer
Fleshed out and updated my profiles. Everything is clear and neatly detailed now.


I was also looking at everyone else’s character profiles and couldn’t help but notice this…

Cerberusx wrote:Name:
Marcus 'Lone Wolf' Forge

Species: Gray Wolf
Gray Wolf Image 1
Gray Wolf Image 2
Height: 6' 4"
Weight 180 lbs
Cerberusx wrote: Height: 6' 4"
Weight 180 lbs
Good freaking Lord, that is one huge wolf. Is Marcus secretly part Dire wolf or something? X/


(I’m not critiquing, before anyone freaks out. I just thought that was an interesting detail)

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 2:22 am
by Cerberusx
Well I agree with you a bit on that. But I did quite a bit of research on this and I made him so big and etc because animals tend to be much larger in Housepets. And an average adult Gray Wolf is a little over 5 feet tall/length. So I just added an extra foot. And that 'domesticated' wolves can grow very large and Gray wolves in Alaska, Canada, and Russia have been know to weight 120lbs. Even if it is very rare. But then again those areas are not really inhibited by people so it's not impossible for wolves to be very large. I also made him weight so much and be so big because he's a military wolf. Packed full of muscle.

I could go into more detail, but it will take more time and I'm using a smartphone. I do everything on my smartphone because I don't have a computer. And I've been doing posts and etc all day so I'm a bit tired.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 3:19 am
by D-Singer
In my own view, wolves wouldn’t exactly be ideal service animals, but that’s aside the point considering Marcus seems to be more of a mercenary. Not exactly something common on either end of the spectrum.

Why would a military wolf be any more cut out than an alpha wolf of feral nature?

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 4:24 am
by valerio
As promised, I am giving a second read to your awesome contributions.
So far, I had to apply a couple of minor corrections to Chance and Clay's CS:

1) Chance didn't join Babylon Garden's police. In fact, he and Clay lived a pretty 'normal', under the radar life, until they saw their chance to join the FNERL security and put their skills to a better use. If you have something against it, Gavin, let me know.
2) Since joining the security under Gottschalk, both Chance and Clay get to use the latest toy, so I gave Chance a jacket filled with compact gadgets and blade weapons he may find useful, while Clay, like his colleagues, will have access to a nice selection of toys :mrgreen:

more notes, in case, to come soon

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 4:55 am
by Cerberusx
Just thought I'd let you know I made corrections and fixed something's to my character sheet Val.

@D-Singer

I'll get back to you. It will take me a while to get my point across...especially since it's very early in the morning. Though I have seen real 'domesticated' wolves up close amd personal.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 5:23 am
by valerio
those of you who made corrections, warn me, I must copy and save the new CS on my HD.
Thanks

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 5:29 am
by Cerberusx
You'll have to do mine again. Sorry. I added a few things I already had in there, so I just deleted one section since I already had it. ^_^"

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 8:29 am
by JeffCvt
I just made a minor note on mine that Lance didn't learn any combat techniques during his first few years at the farm. Any and all training beyond just being told to defend whatever he was told to with his life was after him running away.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 8:49 am
by valerio
Edited Sodina "Andrew" Panderov profile.
Cathy nicknamed her Andrew as homage to her father, who raised her as a tough girl.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 10:18 am
by Obbl
Just a minor note: In order to get Amar to wear a "collar", they got him some military dog tags (like Fox wears) but just on the normal chain like most humans do. Elsa (as a compromise) agreed to wear her tags all the time if he would as well. It was a competition for a few weeks (with Elsa ribbing Amar for "trying to be human" and Amar ribbing Elsa for "trying to be pet"), until it became habit and they both *forgot about the competition. :lol:

*Amar doesn't really forget anything, but it's not like Elsa really "forgot" about it either; it just wasn't at the forefront of their minds.


Also, I said Amar was shot in the leg 3 times, but I meant there were 3 incidences total (2 times shot and the fall), sorry :oops:
*Have edited*


Also, also, some examples of Amar talking:
"Where is Elsa?" "Who are you?" (He gets these type of questions correct, but...) "I don't know who are you." (...it cause him to mix those up.)
"When we are going to be getting there?" (If it's more than 3 words, the question is liable to be mixed up this way.)
"When we are going to be getting there?" (Also, he likes the present progressive form a lot.)
"Why you are wearing this jacket?" (Amar has nothing against that particular jacket. He means a jacket. Also, he would never ask this question because by the time anyone else is wearing a jacket, he is wearing a scarf, wool cap (with ear holes), sweater, jacket, sweat pants (with tail hole), his feet are wrapped and he'd wear mittens if it didn't interfere with his shooting and fighting (he takes off the jacket for hand-to-hand).)
Elsa: "Quit trying to be human." :lol:
Amar: "Shut up. The cold is stupid. I am not knowing how you are going around with so much little on." *indignant face* (Note: he got "how you are" correct, because there's more than 3 words, he also got "the cold" right, but by complete accident ;) )
Elsa: "Summer will be here soon enough."
Amar: "This summer is not the summer. It is the winter. Why there is no hot here?" (Elsa has given up correcting him most of the time. She got over being frustrated at him. Now she thinks it's cute :lol: )
Note that his speech usually makes some logical sense but is still incorrect grammatically.


Elsa has also given up trying to clean Amar's room after he demonstrated that he knew exactly where everything was. She threw up her hands and stomped out in an overly dramatic huff. They still poke fun at each other for the state of their rooms (Messy vs Tidy)
If they will be sharing a room in your fic, Amar's half will be messy and Elsa's half will be tidy. There will be territory war between the two :D


*re-reads* Aaaaaaand I've written another CS on these two haven't I? :roll: (so much for "minor note")
That's all I'ma write, by the way ;)

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 11:03 am
by kavviyenta
I feel that it's good enough with my OCs' profile but is there anything else you like to know concerning Navy and Caleb?

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 11:59 am
by valerio
Edited CS: Flare Nelson

It is a myth that, being born with a sensorial deficit, other senses develop to a superior level. What's true is that the handicapped subject learns to use better what he/she has, but always within the limits of what nature provided him/her.
In this regard, I had to correct Flare's history, so that he was adopted first by the police and then sent to the military thanks to his fine nose and skill to find bombs and booby traps. He was paired with Fredrick and both were eventually wounded during that fatal mission: in that occasion, the blast took away Flare's left eye and ear. Both retired early, with Fredrick adopting Flare, and lived as civilians until given the chance to join FNERL security thanks to their great expertise with explosives.

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 12:12 pm
by copper
Am I invisible here? I am still around, Val. Just don't comment as much. Please feel free to contact me for any mod stuff. :P

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 2:49 pm
by RandomGeekNamedBrent
copper wrote:Am I invisible here? I am still around, Val. Just don't comment as much. Please feel free to contact me for any mod stuff. :P
Well it wouldn't have done any good to contact you. You moved it to the Dead Thread Bed, so you couldn't do anything with it.

plus, I was here, and Diss was here too, so I did my thing and had Diss delete the other thread and we didn't need to wait ^_^

unless you mean his corrections to character sheets, in which case he doesn't need to add them into the character sheet, he just needs to warn the creator that he made them.

and you did see that I said I made a few additions to mine, right, Val?

Re: Contest! How tough is your watchdog?

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 2:59 pm
by valerio
This morning I just copied and pasted, so if you're talking about something you just made no, I didn't take notice yet. What did you add?