And not just any mahogany, but mahogany from the planet of Malchior 7, where the trees are three hundred feet tall and breathe fire! From these trees this desk was forged two thousand years ago, using ancient blood rituals of the Malchior people. Not only does this make my desk nigh indestructible, but it can bend the fabric of the universe itself! Also, it's a very fine material. Very expensive. ...It's mahogany.