Peanut Butter Sandwich

Also: Ball!


What’s that? You want to play?  Peanut wants to play!  Peanut is ultra-enthusiastic with most everything he does, which mostly consists of playing ALL KINDS of games.  On top of that, he’s an extraordinarily fast reader (though whether he’s a fast learner is up for debate).

He creates his own comic called The Adventures of Spot (superdog) (see below) which is a pastiche of superhero comics and movies he’s somewhat familiar with, and on occasion will be about just anything that strikes his fancy.  He has a great deal of anxiety about storytelling and gets overexcited about most everything related to it.

Peanut lives with Grape, and has a crush on her, despite the fact that she’s a cat. Recognizing this hasn’t stopped him from waking her up from her nap while in a panic, which he does quite often.  He also has a girlfriend named Tarot who came to him under extremely odd circumstances.  He is also okay with this.

Tarot: Peanut’s girlfriend is a Pomeranian with ultra super psychic powers, and can commune with the spirits in order to see into the future, which she does quite often.  She doesn’t explain the constant inconsistency with her power’s use or why everything has to be part of an ultradramatic mystical war or somesuch, but she can make like a holodeck with her mind.  So what are you gonna do, complain?

Spot (superdog): Peanut’s alter ego in superhero form.  He has all the superpowers necessary to make people love him.  His secret identity is Spot (professor) a.k.a. Professor Spot, who is much like Spot (superdog) but with glasses.  Professor Spot also is knowledgeable about many kinds of subject matter, from graphs to holidays to comics.  Spot’s girlfriend is Stripe, who is most definitely not a cat.

Can I go back to my nap now?Grape Jelly Sandwich

Any problem can be solved with the correct application of pressure to a stupid person’s face.

You shouldn’t expect too much effort from Grape. While she has a creative spark in her own right, she would much rather fall back on tried and true methods, such as violence. It hasn’t garnered her many close friends, and only recently she decided to open herself up to the cat community of Babylon Gardens.

Even though she’s younger, she often acts as the big sister to Peanut, given that she’ll refrain from hurting him even if he’s bothersome (for the most part) and even try to intervene on his behalf. This is part of what gets Grape into trouble so often.

She has ongoing disputes with the neighborhood dogs, mostly out of her disdain for them, but also because she can dance circles around them for fun, and rarely get much more than an angry stare or attempted beat-down. She can’t do anything about the balance of power, but it doesn’t matter to her, it’s just something else to pass the time.

Her boyfriend is Maxwell and they make much snuggles.


You got a problem with that?

All I want is your complete and unquestioning loyalty! Is that too much to ask?

The ringleader of the neighborhood dogs and chairdog of the Good Ol’ Dogs Club. That is, to the extent that his older brother Fido isn’t around. Bino derives the respect he gets simply by blood relations. For most dogs, that’s good enough, nevermind the fact that Bino is almost nothing like Fido. He’s envious, greedy, stingy, obnoxious, petty, and downright mean, and if you know a little something about dogs, that can rub off rather easily.

His main posse consists of Fox and Rex. Joey sometimes tags along, but because Joey is exceedingly weird and isn’t part of the Good Ol’ Dogs Club proper, he’s often left out.

Fox: Wears dogtags. He’s the smart one, which means he’s almost as smart as a cat. But I kid!  He’s friends with Bino mostly to the extent that he still has some lingering issues of his own, including his personal aggravation with cat-lovers.  He will go along with Bino and back him up because he’s his friend, though his heart is not often in it.  He became fast friends with King after he moved into the neighborhood.

Rex: What he lacks in brains, he makes up for in his uncanny ability to taste minute differences in coffee blends. Oh, and he’s strong too, but that’s genetic.

Sasha: She’s one of those ‘flavor of the week’ kind of girls, having an on-again-off-again relationship with Bino depending on how his standing is with the neighborhood dogs, and whether or not she feels like it.  She wears a heart on her collar.  There is more to her than meets the eye . . . but not much.  Maybe.

Joey: Bino’s younger brother. Was the runt of his litter, and is usually ignored for the most part. But it’s okay, he can cope . . . he can cope . . . He also is friends with some of the weirder neighborhood dogs and loves him some animuhs and D&Ds.

Joey’s Creepy Friends: Into the same stuff that Joey is, but far, far worse.  Don’t ask.

Squeak: Joey’s . . . partner.  Also don’t ask.


Don’t ask about the bite mark.

Maxwell likes to be snarky and caustic far more than is healthy for a cat, and it shows. He lives with Bino, and eggs him on often because it’s fun to torment the dogs and their idea of a social hierarchy.

Max is often known as ‘that annoying neighbor cat’ by the owners of other pets, and instead of sleeping like most cats, he gets his energy by being annoying. It’s almost like photosynthesis, only with grinding on peoples’ nerves instead of sunlight. Max isn’t the leader of anything in particular, but he’s friends with all the cats in the neighborhood for better or worse.

He is Grape’s boyfriend and gets all the snuggle benefits thereof.

Fiddler and Keys: A cat duo who play the insturments they’re named after. This is likely due to an aggressive push by their owners to have musical cats.  One is a guy and one is a girl and they’re in a rather strained relationship, the kind that musicians tend to have.

Jasper: He’s the quiet type to the point of being mute. He’ll get that Jinx one of these days! Ah, hilarity.

Jinx: Jasper’s just not Jasper without a Jinx.

Mr. Bigglesworth (10+): There are at least ten cats with the name Mr. Bigglesworth, and they’re all Siamese or Siamese mixes, most are not blood-related, and some of them are even female. They chalk it up to their owner being a crazy cat lady. A few of them have fun with it in order to mess with the heads of animals who aren’t aware there’s more than one.

Fido Byron

No, no, thank you for serving your community. You’re an asset to this neighborhood and a great patriot. Me? I’m just an everydog trying to get by in this crazy game we call life.

Fido is the pet community’s leader, working hard every day to help the pets in need, promote adoptions, and keep the peace between cat and dog. On top of that, he was hired on by the local police department for their K-9 program, participates in a number of track and field tournaments, and teaches pups to read in his spare time.

Isn’t he just disgusting?

Not all is liver and potpourri, as Fido has found himself, through a series of poor choices as a pup, in the arms of a cat. Sabrina is Fido’s secret girlfriend, and despite Fido’s strongest attempts to keep everything hush-hush, Sabrina has needs to fulfill. Such as having Fido take care of every little forest critter she was told to get rid of. Fido helps out of the goodness of his heart, but probably also out of the goodness of something else. A recent case he’s deigned to take care of is a mouse named Spo, who Fido has grown rather attached to.

Sabrina: The quiet, unassuming type. She just tries not to make much noise among the other pets. Also, despite belonging to the most vicious killer subsection of pets, she desires most of all to be Friend of All Living Things and refuses to do physical harm to anyone. She’s secretly Fido’s girlfriend.

Spo: A loudmouth who was the runt of his litter, Spo is a mouse with spunk. He wedged his way into Fido’s life by strongarming his way into his heart.

The K-9 Unit: Fido’s police buddies.

K-9 Sergeant Ralph: Fido’s supervising officer, a German Shepherd.  He’s a very well trained police dog, and is pretty humorless like a good officer should be.

K-9 Officer Kevin: A very muscular doberman.  He could break you in half with a slight squeeze, so it’s probably not an entirely good thing that ‘attack’ is his initial reflex to most everything. Loves to create ‘Tackle’ variations of various games.

Tiger Arbelt

I hate Thursdays. I like pizza. I hate cockroaches. I like my teddy bear Poom. That’s characterizaion, right?

A dog with an unfortunate name. When he was adopted as a pup, his owner was not aware that being named after a cat was a social h-bomb for dogs. (Other bad dog names are Leo, Felix, Sylvester, Cheshire, Figaro and Tabby) The other dogs will not let up on this, and it’s driven Tiger to become agressive and paranoid.

Additionally, he has an eating disorder, which stems from his constant emotional problems. In all, isn’t he a wonderful character to have in a comic? Sort of like a mix between Garfield and Heathcliff–oh.

Marvin Arbelt: Tiger’s cat-sibling, who is more patient and understanding with Tiger than the dogs. In fact, most of the cats are more patient and understanding with Tiger, and that doesn’t help things one bit.

Zach Arbelt: Adopted on Christmas, Zach is the newest member of the Arbelt household. He was rather hyped up after being in the pet store since he was a kit, but now he’s not sure he likes being a pet, especially with the inattention he’s given.  Most recently, after running away from home and subsequently rescued, the woodland animals have started calling him Opener of Ways, which, despite giving him the attention he wanted, he does not appreciate much anymore.

The Milton Ferrets

I would like to say that money hasn’t changed us. I would LIKE to say that, but it would be a horrible, horrible lie.

The six ferrets left an enormous multi-billion dollar fortune by their late owner, Mr. Henry Milton.  Milton was responsible for the construction of Babylon Gardens which he meant as a paradise for pet owners and pets, his ultimate plans for which were never quite finished nor even fully explained.  Due to constant difficulties with his few remaining members of his family, he left the majority of his fortune to his pets, who now pretty much waste it all on whatever they like.  There’s far more money than they can even do stupid things with.

Keene: The de-facto chief of the bunch.  Keene is one of the few that feels guilty about inheriting all that money and not carrying on his owner’s legacy to any significant degree.  These pangs of guilt subside when he drowns himself in orange soda.

Lana: Sensible, but silly, Lana is the only girl of the bunch.  She takes care of the household management and maintains a proper ladylike attitude with all of their employees and clients, except when she doesn’t want to.

Duke: Duke speaks his mind, and what’s on his mind is usually exactly what’s in front of him.  He hasn’t caught onto the subtle art of subtlety yet.

Simon: Simon will say anything as long as it gets him in the spotlight.  He has to be explicitly and repeatedly told to stop appearing on daytime talkshows, and when he didn’t, they issued a blanket gag order against all media companies, everywhere, to consult with Mr. Steward before Simon is put on the air, under penalty of their company being bought up and subsequently dissolved.  Who says money can’t solve all your problems?

Rock: The least worried about money, Rock will nevertheless get himself into enormous amounts of trouble with the fewest tools necessary.  Has a fascination for things.

Pit: A total spendthrift, Pit wants absolutely anything that strikes his fancy.  Most ridiculous purchase so far: an abandoned missile silo, which he cleared out then filled with vanilla pudding.  He claims that it was part of a charity event.

Jeeves: Their chief butler, who is very British.  The work is demeaning, but hey, money.

Mr. Steward: The executor of the Milton estate.  While he can’t exactly keep the ferrets from doing stupid things with their money, he can at least make sure they don’t drive themselves into poverty, or sell all of their business ventures in order to purchase an iceberg from a shady entrepreneur.

Celia and Thomas Milton: Mr. Milton’s only surviving blood relatives, a couple of greedy, seedy snobs who would stab you in the back for a couple of Microsoft shares.  They partnered up once, but that didn’t go over so well.

Miles: Keene had the bright idea to sponsor wild animals to join the Babylon Gardens community as “people”, for a given loophole in the definition of people.  Miles is far above average in education for a wild animal, making him a perfect guinea pig, even though he’s a wolf.  He’s not quite used to acting like a person yet.  He and his brother are employed to the Milton ferrets.

Lucretia: Miles’ mate. They love each other very much, and she also loves the fact that they now have air conditioning and medical insurance.  The indoor plumbing seems lavish, though.

Daryl: Miles’ brother, who was also part of his pack.  He was one of the few who decided to join Miles on this stupid crazy plan to be like people.

Miles’ Cubs: Technically, they don’t have names yet according to feral tradition, but that just left the options open for them to call themselves whatever they wanted.


Apparently I’m still here because I’m some sort of masochist.

King used to be a human.  He is a Welsh Corgi due to the machinations of a superbeing known as Pete.  King doesn’t WANT to be a dog, although being a human wasn’t all upside anyway.  The downsides of being a dog is mainly having to associate with dogs, not to mention that Pete is a crappy owner as it is.  Why he’s keeping King as a dog, he doesn’t know, but he will take every opportunity to be snarky and ungrateful.

His only real friend at the moment is Fox, although he’s on okay terms with the K-9 unit so long as they don’t sniff him, touch him or speak to him.  Ever.

Pete: A magical superbeing in the form of a gryphon.  He’s sort of a jerk.  When he first appeared to Grape in a dream, he painted himself up as being kind and generous and benevolent, but he hasn’t turned out to be much of that at all.

Spirit Dragon: ???

Great Kitsune: ???

Other Animals

Daisy: Amazingly enough, she’s even less intelligent than Sasha.

Rufus: Peanut and Grape’s much older pet-cousin who lives on a farm.  He’s a little weird, and he might be into cats.

Farm Animals: Generally none too bright (as they are going to be food anyway), except for the racehorses.  Also, some hot and spicy barncats, but not in the flavor sort of way.

Woodland Critters (including the Raccoons): These guys are simply everywhere in the back woods, though they usually don’t want to be seen.

Zoo Animals: The various animals live at the zoo in order to entertain human beings with their animal-ness.  It’s a pretty sweet gig, though boredom is a rampant issue.

Owners and other Humans

Mr. and Mrs. Sandwich (Peanut and Grape’s owners): Both Mr. and Mrs. Sandwich moved into Babylon Gardens because they heard that the place was pet-friendly, and they’re both fond of animals. Mr. Sandwich works as an auto mechanic.


Ryan Byron (Fido’s owner): He just thinks its really amusing what pets get themselves into. And beyond that, it’s not a human matter, so who cares? Ryan is an R&D expert for a software firm and likes to play D&D in his spare time.

Jeff: Bino and Maxwell’s dad.

Bill: Fox’ dad.  He’s a square-jawed motorcycle cop and somewhat overzealous in his duties.  He’s a man’s man, man.

Joel: Ex-PETA member, was found missing  from the court house just before his trial.