Science Diet
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Discussion (130) ¬

  1. Dissension

    You’re simultaneously fascinating and disgusting!

    • Verp

      Women have said that of me. I would not care, other than for the fact I am straight.

      • volkoseba

        Well hey, at least women say things about you :|

        • Smallfoot

          I feel ya. As Mr. Wilde put it, “The only thing worse than being talked about is NOT being talked about.”

        • Yehoshua

          Women say that I’m scary.

          • Zarvain

            Welcome to the club. I hear they’re trying to get us new tee shirts if you’re interested.

          • Alucai Vivorvel

            It must be your manly beard, Zarvain.
            Though why women don’t like beards is beyond me. So what, it tickles? Deal with it!

          • Damselinnot-so-muchdistress

            EVERYONE says that I’m scary

          • Draven

            The first time someone calledme crazy, I was so shocked I almost fell off of my unicorn.

          • Verp

            I just tell people an alien life form would naturally seem eccentric on a world it is not nature to.

    • Celicam

      Le Alt Text: “Actually you’re going on a diet because you alone quadruple our food budget.”

      And did they ever thing Tiger just has a high metabolism? That’d be my guess ;)

      • I like your hat

        ‘high” is a understatement o.O by those charts and notes he should be huge

        • Celicam

          When am I going to trust a chart made by Marvin? Pfftt

        • tahrey

          By those charts and notes he’s either got “dumping syndrome” (no lie, that’s what it’s called), which someone in the family would surely have noticed by now, or should be running such a temperature that he’s slightly incandescent and singes everything and everyone that he touches…

          • Daniel

            You mean Bulimia?

          • Lamandus

            @ Daniel:
            no Bulimia is something else, “Dumping syndrome” is “dumping” of the food from the gaster, right into the duodenum.
            @tharey: also, like you mentioned with his temperature: there is a slight chance, that he has a hyperthyreose… but that wouldn’t explain his high amount of sleepiness (that would be more a hypothreose)… or he just can’t “consume” the food, which he is eating… like a lipase-failure, or even a amylase-failure…

          • Air

            Or he could be missing intestinal segments and has to eat that much to maintain his weight.

          • Lamandus

            Right, Air. Or even a pankreatitis … or just a absorbtion-malfunktion.

    • Facade Kitsune

      the disgusting thing about this is the only way i could think it possible is a tapeworm.

      • Xane

        Or malabsorption syndrome.

    • Dontlookmenaked

      I don’t see anything gross here.

      • legendario13


      • Verp

        Don’t judge a life form by its lifestyle. Dax was quite charming.

  2. I like your hat

    love it :3

    • LoneWolf

      Read housepets they said, you wont get addicted they said

  3. Zaitsev

    He looks too proud in that third panel.

    • mr.muchy

      just a little

    • Xane

      It’s the same face King made in Duchess’ lap, but slightly less creepy. Which is kind of weird, since Tiger usually has his psycho-face on more often than not these days!

      • Valerio

        King was literally forced to act happy.
        Tiger is spontaneous

        • I like your hat

          hes proud that he can eat all he wants and never gain weight… i wish i could i have to work to stay skinny-ish -____-

  4. Shoan

    My caloric intake is half of a normal human, but my weight increase is TRIPLE of a normal human *cries*

    • Big Fan

      To keep your metabolism up, you should spread your intake of should spread your intake of food from three meals to small amounts every two hours (generic time, experiment for best results/your personal schedule).

      • Alucai Vivorvel

        You know what I don’t get? Isn’t metabolism how fast your body burns calories? Well, since heavier people need to burn more calories in order to do the same things “average” people do, wouldn’t it make more sense to say a heavier person has a higher metabolism?

        • Lupus

          It’s the rate at which calories are burned, not the amount.

          • Keldor

            Rate x time = amount. :-P

        • Thoth

          Metabolic Rate can be loosely defined as production of energy per unit of tissue mass. This can vary very widely. For example, low-water plant tissues and certain fish can survive being frozen – in which state their metabolic rate is vanishingly small – while creatures such as shrews and hummingbirds in flight maintain a metabolic rate so high that they can starve to death in hours.

          In organisms which regulate their own body temperatures internally, faster metabolisms are associated with smaller sizes – since the square-cube law means that smaller organisms have far more surface area per unit volume of tissue to lose heat through. A sufficiently large organism will have trouble dissipating it’s own metabolic heat even if it has a slow metabolism.

          Within a particular species more massive individuals generally do burn more calories than lighter ones doing the same things – but they also generally consume more in the first place and rarely actually do quite as much.

  5. Ozy

    I was hoping for something to get resolved in the last arc! Daww…

    • BillyMT

      And why do you think this strip is here? XD You should know by now that Rick get his kicks now and then from totally crushing our expectations

    • dibs

      i wouldn’t worry too much about it, a whole lot of information about the game itself was revealed, so it’s not like it was just a teaser arc or something like that. cliffhangers are fun anyways

  6. kimo

    because everything can be explained with a chart

    • Lophiiformes

      Charts are fun!

    • Valerio

      One can tell this chart was made by Marvin.
      Tiger would’ve used a Pie chart

  7. IceKitsune

    Tiger sure is strange. XD

    • nyathetexascat

      That’s why we love’im

    • Xane

      You’d be strange too if all your “friends” tormented you every day of your life!

      People are strange when you’re a stranger…

      • BillyMT

        He’s a short bombwick, that’s what make it fun to tease him :3

      • legendario13

        ♫…when you’re strange, no one remembers your name…

    • Valerio

      and proud to be!

  8. SilverZeo

    …. how did he have the foresight for that?

    • tahrey

      A ready-prepared chart (and pointing stick) for every possible chart-explicable occurrence always being close to hand is one of the few genuine perks of living in a cartoon universe.

      Re: VG Cats, El Goonish Shive, occasionally Questionable Content, etc.

      • Keldor

        I have a feeling that the issue comes up so very often that making a chart is totally natural. I mean, this would require the same level of near omnescient foresight that predicting the tides or the rise of the sun takes.

    • Xane

      Maybe attention to detail is a side effect of his psychosis. :lol:

  9. D-Rock

    Sometimes “wow” is the only good response.

  10. Kohaku Nightfang

    And once again Tiger is WAY too much like Garfield than is healthy :P

    • AuvaAkita

      Minus the chubbiness, because unlike Garfield, Tiger obviously has a high metabolism to go along with his outrageous eating habits.

      • Xane

        Well it’s not like Garfield ever actually gains weight, he’s actually half the size Original Garfield was!

        • AuvaAkita

          The economy must be getting in the way of his food budget then or he has finally lost his appetite for lasagna o.o

  11. Celicam

    Tiger, you shouldn’t hide behind fancy graphs and scientific analysis….It isn’t healthy for you.

  12. Lophiiformes


  13. Celicam

    Math time! How many of each of those items would it take, assuming each were eaten in similar quantities, to reach 57,000 calories? If you know the answer, that’d be great!

    • tahrey

      Depends on the precise item in question. The calorific content of a particular pizza, bag of chips, etc can vary widely. If we had a suggestion of a certain brand, serving size, and – where appropriate – topping variety, it would be a little easier to estimate.

      Taking a normal size (UK, 25g) bag of Walkers/Lays/Fritos salted potato chips as found in supermarket-bought multipacks for an example, that’s 134 calories; however the slightly larger size (34g) as found in vending machines etc is 185 calories.

      57,000 / 134 = 425 bags (at £1.58 for 6, that’s £112 over 71 multipacks)
      57,000 / 185 = 308 bags… (or £1.99 for 6 “extra fill” 32.5g packs == £2.12 for 6×34.5g = £110 over 51 multipacks)

      And presumably it also varies with flavouring, whether or not they’re ridge-cut, etc.

      Pizza got a bit more difficult as the manufacturers I could think of just had very plain homepages with no info. Searched on a local supermarket instead, so apologies if these are a bit regional.

      Dr Oetker 335g Mozzerella; image suggests it’s a 6-slice affair in the region of about 10″ diameter. 441 calories = 130 of them to reach our goal. Or at the supermarket’s current special deal price, £292.50, approx $440. A lot of money. Especially from my perspective given that my take-home pay is equivalent to only £266/week…

      On the other hand, the Salami & Pepperoni meat feast pizza from the same range, at a slightly smaller 320g overall, offers a full 873 calories, almost twice as much. Yee-ikes. But that’s still 66 of them and an almost £150 layout. After mortgage, energy, water and other such unavoidable bills, I don’t have that much left on average…

      Dude seriously needs to cut down, maybe see a doctor. I could *maybe* pile through three of those in a day before feeling unwell, hitting my daily recommended calories for a largely sedentary worker with the addition of a couple cups of coffee (and still spending a good £48; my normal all-things-considered-not-just-pizza food budget is more around £30-35), and I’m a full size human not a medium-small dog.

      If nothing else, they probably want to restrict him to eating nothing but store-brand chips, which come in at 68p for 12×18g. He’d probably double them up, or at least eat 3-for-2 vs the Fritowalkerlays, but that’s still quite a saving… “just” £36~48…
      And if all he’s doing is satisfying a calorific black hole, that’s even better, as they’re quite fatty; 100 calories per bag. 570 of them is “all” he’d need; 48 multipacks, £32.64…

    • tahrey

      The same store’s ownbrand cheese + tomato pizza, a 12″er at 480g, is 609 calories and £1.10…

      No! Wait! I’m getting this wrong. “Half of a pizza contains”… argh. It doesn’t have the full amounts, just “per 100g” and “per serving”.

      609 x 2 = 1218 calories… 47 pizzas… a little under 7 per day… £52. There’s a lesson for you. Always buy the cheap brand. :-D

      Yes, the other ones are per half-pizza too. So,
      9~10″ ish Mozzerella = 882 calories … 65 of em… £147
      Ditto meatfeast = 1746 calories O_O … 33 like that … £75

      So it’s not QUITE as bad as might have been first thought. But though he’s maybe not quadrupling the food bill, he could quite well be doubling it, or tripling it if Jerry’s an otherwise shrewd shopper.

      • Xane

        Yeah, I thought that first post was a little low on the pizzas.

        Here, a medium pepperoni pizza from a majorttakeout brand is about 2500 calories per pie. A bag of cheese poofs or potato chips is 1000-1500 calories. 57,000/7 is about 8143 calories. So 2-3 pizzas and a few bags of chips could easily hit that.

        I’m starting to think UK pizzas are measured in centimeters, somewhere in the single digits!

        • Celicam

          “Great Scott! They actually did it! Marty come here, these guys have got it all figured out!”

          Seriously awesome job. Lets check the time limit. 3 Hours for first response. Nice. It’s either due to timezone difference or all the calculating all dem maths, but it’s still a nice response time. And the amounts are staggering xD

  14. McFly

    Eating all that food while still maintaining a constant weight.

    I envy you, sir.

    • Ryufire

      He has a small black hole inside his belly!

    • Valerio

      he’s the king of snack

  15. Exulen

    Come on Tiger, you’re eating way too much! It’s not like food grows on trees.


    • legendario13

      Well Not anymore..

    • zeroslash

      Well, not the food he eats, judging by his diet.

  16. Zukio

    I wonder what Tiger did with the other nine hours in that week.

  17. efhosci

    Tiger and Friends will be right back!

    • Ryufire

      And to commercials: Try the all new “Triple Heart stopping burger” New at Lardys

  18. xhunterko

    Thorough. I’ll give him that.

  19. Snowmon

    It’s just like me and my cousin. We’re both anomalies too. Although He’s also a Marine and a Workaholic at that, so his ability to burn calories is explainable.

    Me, however, I have no explanation for…

    • Argent Stonecutter

      I was like that until some time in my twenties, when my metabolism suddenly turned normal. Unfortunately I didn’t notice in time.

  20. Cristian100n

    love ya tiger

  21. Valerio

    oh dear, Tiger IS SO FRIGGIN’ CUTE HERE!

    • Xane

      He really is, even with his funky colors. I’ve heard of red nosed pit bulls but not orange nosed ones!

      Meanwhile off panel all you hear is the sound of Jerry’s teeth grinding.

  22. Gabe23

    Just love Tiger´s expression in the 2nd and 3rd panel, he is quite a character

  23. The Maverick Man

    I can relate to that

  24. The Wolf Kin

    Oh, look, Tiger’s like my brother, eating far more than he should yet gaining no weight. I am envious.

  25. cj

    they have discoverd the secret

  26. Gary (from Radio Free Housepets!)

    Tiger is just awesome like that. :D

  27. tahrey

    Also, one (kilo)calorie is equal, in water heating terms, to about 1.16 watt-hours. So that much food energy is equal to an electric power input (to an immersion element) of 66.12 kWh. Similar to running a 3 kWh element (say in a large hot water tank) for 22 hours solid.

    66.12 x 0.15 per kWh = about $10 / £10 worth

    57000 / 168 = 339.3 calories/hour = 393.6 watts equivalent constant rate.

    For a small room or a decently insulated hot water tank, Tiger could act as a quite effective, if hideously inefficient (in terms of fuel economy / energy price) maintenance heater. If your water tank is a little smaller than normal and very well insulated, and you’re patient, he could even work as the primary heater. He’d also be good as the main heater for a small bedroom with cavity wall insulation and thermal glass, or to charge up a storage booster-heater for weekday evenings in winter.

    He’d also be quite hot to the touch, though probably not quite enough to burn you. Dogs are quite well insulated after all. 150′C internally, maybe 60-70′c externally. Which is just nice for a hot water system (including hot water radiator central heating), and about the same as the peak output from a thermostatically controlled hot-air heater.

    Now, the challenge is to find some way of feeding him at the same rate for less than $10 a week. Once you manage that, you can start to treat him as an alternative energy source and save on your electricity bills.
    (You’re unlikely to make him cheaper than piped natural gas, though, unless you feed him nothing but roadkill and scraps)

  28. andrew N.

    That’s what is great about Housepets – I am not a particular fan of arcs involving Pete and King – But I know the next week or so I will be delighted with other characters and situations, with some uncompromissed comedy or other fun situations.

    Housepets has something for every one. For that, I applaud Rick

    • Valerio

      to me, the real magic is that Housepets! manages to be awesome with each and every strip.

  29. tahrey

    BTW, for comparison, a 3kW kettle will boil up a litre of tap water (15′c) in about 2 minutes. 22 hours = 660 litres boiled the same way… Properly applied, Tiger could you a LOT of cups of coffee / tea / etc. Maybe have him swallow some kind of heat-stable sterile bag with a catheter attached. Fill bag with cold water, wait for 150′c internal temperature to raise it by 85′c (and to fall slightly itself, I guess?), extract it. With the right piping he could even act as a source of low pressure steam for all manner of uses.

    But I’m getting away from what I was actually after there. I wanted to figure out how many baths you could take using his energy. Part of which requires me working out the capacity of my own bathtub and hot water tank. I know the tank, once fully heated and with the immersion turned back off, will just about fill the bath at a nice temperature. Say 45′c or so.

    Research suggests the absolute capacity of a standard tub is 42 US Gallons, but you’d probably only fill it to about 30, maybe less, as the human sitting in it will displace an awful lot of water. I think a regular hot water tank is about 110 litres?

    30 US Gal x 3.78 = 113L … hmm.
    However this “full” fill does include the water off the tap gradually cooling as the tank refills from the cold supply without being reheated.

    “The human body has a typical volume of 70 litres” … ok.

    42 x 3.78 = 158.8
    158.8 – 70 = 88.8
    So… IDK, LOL. The internet is not being much help here. The smallest standard size seems to be 84 litres, the commonest type about 100. And I’ve completely lost the plot about what I’m doing. If we assume 100, then maybe by the time 90 have been emptied out of it (leaving some gradual loss down the overflow as said human immerses more and more fully) the tap will be effectively running cold, no more than 20′c or so.

    If you had one bath a day, that’d be 94 litres each fully boiled. So there’d probably be more than enough to have two full baths (maybe Jerry has one, the pets share the water for the second) at a non-scalding temperature, with enough left over to wash up the dishes. Maybe do a load or two of laundry too if they have a hot-fill washing machine. Certainly, it’s more hot water than I could personally dream of getting through (or affording to use) in a typical week.

    I guess the point I’m driving at is Tiger is generating a buttload of heat :-D

    (and in comparison to my 8.5kW electric shower… 7.76 hours continuous. You’d shrivel away to nothing. heck, his average power would easily cover my entire electrical baseload with some left over…)

  30. tahrey

    So, even mild curses that would appear unfilted in Peanuts and the like get filtered. Oookay. Let me repost the offending thing without that word in then.

    “Let’s try and work out how hot he gets! Or at least how much heat energy he’d be burning through…

    A rough calculation from googled information suggests an average sized (~50lb?) dog with a more sedentary than normal lifestyle would need about 1000 calories a day; 7000 a week. So Tiger is somehow burning a little over 8x the expected amount.

    Assuming he’s spending most of his time inside in a roughly ~21′c environment, and dogs have roughly the same body temperature as humans (~37′c), that’s 1000 calories every 24 hours to maintain a heat dissipation (with a small amount of kinetic activity that we shall ignore for the sake of this calculation) sufficient to maintain a core temperature 16′c above that of the environment.

    Rate of heat dissipation is, as far as I can tell from my limited understanding of the poorly explained equations flying past my eyes courtesy of Wikipedia, linear vs temperature. EG conductors and insulators are rated as a dimensionless “watts per metre per kelvin” (the kelvin being degrees of temperature differential between the measured ends).

    Ergo at 8x the energy dissipation rate, there will be 8x the temperature differential.

    16 x 8 = 128′C

    128′C + 21′C = 149′C … 150 near as GOSHDURNIT (c wat I did there? :) (approx 300′F), or the temperature of a low-ish oven. Certainly enough to bake bread in some kind of fashion, or to slow-cook a stew.

    Tiger, therefore, is actually a mobile high-temperature biomass digester. Or possibly a dragon in disguise?”

    • Draven

      Dat science.

    • illeatyourself

      That was almost Wikipedia-worthy! XD Even so, I understood that mostly. Maybe it’s because I am good at math?… Anyway, now I am thinking two things: “Over-analyzing much?” and “How has he not started a fire in that house yet?” XD I am also agreeing with what Draven said below me there. Dat science.

      • illeatyourself

        I guess it is now above me. XD

      • tahrey

        eh, i was bored, at work ;)

        also i’d been doing some similar calculations regarding a malfunctioning bathroom shower, so it wasnt ALL novel research. basically the food values and a calorie/watt-hour conversion.

  31. The Guy in the Background

    He must have some wicked tape worms.

    • Shuma Jindivi

      ……er, although that’s the most probable explanation, er……

  32. DanTwelve3

    I agree, Marvin, Tiger must be researched. Someone apply for government research grants, stat!

    • Keldor

      No! The government must never know! They’d take him away to some secret lab under Area 51…

  33. GameCobra

    We need Tiger to fight man-eating food monsters, post haste!

    • Valerio

      Tiger can come so useful to eat up zombies during an epidemic of zombies

  34. Argent Stonecutter

    If this wasn’t a cartoon universe he’d be in a hospital. That amount of mass still has to come out, no matter how it’s metabolized.

    • Perfesser_Bear

      “Do you know how much we’ve spent on pooper scoopers just this year to date?”

      • tahrey

        oh man, right when im having my lunch, too… XD

    • BillyMT

      It becomes ki? XD

  35. Xane

    “Heart… attack… from… years… of… only… eating… lasagna…”

    • legendario13

      Aww.. too bad Xane died, i was going to ask him to help me feed this fluffy baby Seals…Guess they are going to starve now…

  36. Z24

    Sleeping burns caloriesm people

    • Air

      You slowly burn calories any time that you aren’t eating, as your body is using that energy to function..

    • BillyMT

      There’s a load of difference between calories, lard and overall mass intake :x

      It’s like those psychos from the academy, exercising their bones out to lose two kilos a day? They’re only loosing the water supplies from the body by sweating (mostly anyways), the moment they sip a cup in, it’s all back.

  37. BillyMT

    Oh and just to throw a wrench in your sentr… er, in your fun I mean.

    “Every time you bring scientific facts to a fantasy comic, God kills a catgirl”

    …But here in Housepets we got none of that, so have it your way, gents! /o/

    • Frank

      None of scientific facts? None of God? None of fantasy? or None of catgirls?

    • tahrey

      nah nah nah… that only applies if you do it in order to try and kill the fun. i’m more interrested in how the possibilities opened up by my calculations could A/ lead to wacky (possibly even *zany*) hijinks, B/ have a crazy set of explanations, like he’s not actually a dog, or there’s a portal not far from the pit of his stomach acting like a cosmic gastric band (or, overflow vent), etc.

      some of the best fantasies act almost like hard sci-fi except for the one or two mostly-plausible fantastic elements that they introduce.

      (in the interest of full disclosure it probably bears mention that I’m not only a fan of Terry Pratchett and Tom Holt, but also Poul Anderson and Jennifer Diane Reisz… You get a tasty stew when mixing those contrasting styles.)

  38. FerreTrip

    XD Well-done. Love these occasional knocks at Garfield.

  39. Draven

    That sounds strikingly similar to my summer agenda.

  40. Z24

    I’m just saying, you could save Greece with Tiger’s food budget…

  41. I like your hat

    so THATS why tiger is rarely seen outdoors he spends all day sleeping, eating, and watching tv :D

  42. Keldor

    Hrmm. Tiger eats 57000 calories in a week, or a bit more than 8000 each day. That’s about right for an actual tiger.

    • tahrey


  43. Draven

    Clearly Tiger simply converts the food into cuteness and awesomeness.

  44. HardCore64

    Oh my gosh! Quit copying me and cataloguing what I eat! Just because I do it doesn’t mean you can make it your idea. Unless of course me and Tiger are twins, in which of course I would expect it; but if we are twins ………… what exactly did my parents do!

    P.S. THaT wAS a JoKe!!!!!!

  45. Maxwell


  46. Verp

    It was entertaining watching people try to figure out the economics as well as the thermodynamics and or medical reasons for Tiger eating so much without getting fat. For all we know, he converts it into more of Pete’s unreachable mana.

    • tahrey

      Aw… but I want him to be an occasionally-amulatory CHP biomass reactor! D-:

      Just wait until they shove a pipe down his throat and convert him into a furry steam tractor.

  47. Verp

    How did my comment move back four spaces?

    • Verp

      Now it is where it is supposed to be. I must have done something to confuse the logarithm for a bit. Maybe I took too long entering my comment?

  48. VariedCookies

    Why do I love Tiger’s expressions so much?!?

  49. BruceTD

    I think the funniest part about this is, as a pet store employee, I know science diet is a type of dog food. ITS A NERD JOKE O:

  50. Kurra

    Science Diet is the best title to a comic that will ever be, congratulations RickGriffin :D