The Continuing Adventures Of The Television
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Discussion (245) ¬

  1. Dissension

    The television is my favorite character ever.

    • Argent Stonecutter

      I thought Bino was.

      • Volk

        Do not question Dissension.

        • Draven

          Just look at his avatar, it’s like Cyclopes from X-Men if he was a furry

          • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

            actually, it’s a squirrel/Cylon.

    • Mettlebird

      Warning- this comic may cause conflicting feelings on who is your favourite character. Also, spontaneous arm spasms may occour causing you to *accidentally* strangle your best friend’s annoying talking fish that is mounted on the wall. Ore side effects may be shooting me in the face with a bee bee gun. If you experience any of these, you are a gullible little dipstick. So, please, before you destroy anything else, get some help man. I mean come on? Spontaneous arm spasms causing accidental strangleings? How gullible can you get? Also, anger issues may occur from reading this comment. Please try and refrain from kicking me in the face.

      • Anti

        Well said, Mettle.

    • Draven

      I still say the Barn Cats. Moar Barn Catz pleez

      • Vladimir Zharkov

        But the barn cats are over there, and we’re over here.

        • Draven

          Then we should move over there.

          • Leinad

            who says Aunt and Uncle Reuben (and their cats) can’t come down for a visit?

          • Viath

            that has happened in at least one fanfic, I believe :)

    • JokkePokke

      My favorite character is everyone :3

      • JokkePokke

        Except King. He’s my favorite-favorite character.
        And Bino… And Peanut, of course. And Max Fox is cool… And…
        No, just make that everyone.

        <3

  2. Daggy

    Every single medicine commercial, I swear.

    • Reima

      The best ones are for depression!

      “May cause thoughts of suicide.”

      Yeah, no thanks.
      Seems a bit counter-productive there chief!

      • Snowmon

        Warning may cause the exact same medical issue as this product is advertised to prevent.

        I’ve seen three of those kinds of products just last year.

      • Gadora

        On a serious note (just for a second, I promise), that one’s actually because it’s possible to be to be too depressed to work up the initiative to suicide. So once the anti-depressant picks you up just enough…

        • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

          but it says “thoughts of suicide.” if what you’re saying were the case, the thoughts are already there, they just don’t go through with it.

      • Kelly H

        I’ve had that. Also, the previous drug made my anxiety worse.

      • Ninja522

        I’ve seen one commercial with and I quote this:
        “side effects include… or even death. If you experience any of these please contact your doctor immediately.”

        If you die how are you suppose to contact your doctor immediately?

        • Sparta

          haunt his dreams and tell him?

          • Mettlebird

            This is Rick!
            …no…
            THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!

      • silverfang16

        I find that 90% of the time the side effects are the same or even worse than the disease.

      • Mettlebird

        …I see what you did there…

    • GameCobra

      nothing beats Buckleys in my opinion.

    • T-Squared

      I think these kinds of commercials started around 1998. XD

      • Rick Griffin

        These commercials started when the FCC stopped commercials from listing off side effects quicker than the Micro Machines guy

        • T-Squared

          Tobe,ornottobe,thatisthequestion:
          Whether’tisnoblerinthemindtosuffer
          Theslingsandarrowsofoutrageousfortune,
          Ortotakearmsagainstaseaoftroubles,
          Andbyopposingendthem?Todie,tosleep,
          Nomore;andbyasleeptosayweend
          Theheart-ache,andthethousandnaturalshocks
          Thatfleshisheirto:’tisaconsummation
          Devoutlytobewished.Todie,tosleep;
          Tosleep,perchancetodream–ay,there’stherub:
          Forinthatsleepofdeathwhatdreamsmaycome,*explode into fireball*

          Anyone who gets that joke gets a cookie. :D

          • Rick Griffin

            Yes that’s from Nostalgia Critic, I got it *giggles*

          • Haddi

            I got it… now WHERE’S MY COOKIE!?

          • Frank

            Here!

            You know, I’ve never seen that one. Do you have a link?

          • Alphonse

            Rick got it for me. Cookie nao.

        • Frank

          Until I read “soothing voice” I was so sure it was the quicker-than-micro-machines-guy effect

    • Rick Griffin

      There’s also those ones that say absolutely nothing and just give a website, because if they made a claim to what it did in the commercial they’d have to list all the side effects that couldn’t be mentioned within thirty seconds.

      • Foldo

        I feel that pharmaceutical companies add more and more side effects on their information sheets to avoid trial. In the end, it seems that there are more people dying than cured by taking aspirin.

        • Frank

          You bet it’s true! Everyone who took aspirin before 1896 is now dead!

          …wait

          • Leitrean

            and Everyone who comments on this comic will be dead by 2115

            or 2012 depending on if you believe everything on the internet is fact XD

          • Critter Rhode

            Leitrean, you mean not everthing on the webi is fact? I will have to report this to The Onion right away!

          • Frank

            And no one yet has noticed that Aspirin wasn’t invented until 1897. I win!

    • neonsky

      Story of my life.

    • CobraMcJingleballs

      Exactly….what’s worse is that half the times now the medication’s sideeffects are worse than what theyre curing…oh it may help asthema, but it will KELL U!

      • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

        having trouble breathing? this will make it so you don’t have to breathe.

        • Nikola

          I literally dropped my taco after reading that.

  3. NickCrotser

    No Implosive Diarrhea?

    • tanglestalker909

      Or explosive diarrhea? :(

      • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

        I think just saying “diarrhea” covers both of those options.

        • T-Squared

          Whatever you do, don’t look in the hallway closet until I say it’s all right to do so. *shudders*

        • Russiarules1

          Sir, you win.

      • Yehoshua

        Don’t forget verbal diarrhea.

    • Brownie

      It may cover both options but it would be more comforting to know which one you’re more likely to get a visit from.

      • netherwolf

        yep.. and then you notice that you got both of them x3

  4. IceKitsune

    lol I hate it when they do commercials and then repeat them over and over again like that.

    • T-Squared

      lol I hate it when they do commercials and then repeat them over and over again like that.



      Wait, Deja Vu? O_O *shot with a gummi bear*

    • The Moon Howler

      I feel ya, IceKitsune.

    • Viath

      Listening to the radio the other day, there was a commercial where it seemed like the writers had had a contest to see how many times they could say the phrase “unlimited talk and text” in the allotted time span. I turned it off and yelled at the radio just for fun :)

      • Mettlebird

        You, sir, just made my day.

        • Viath

          thank you. I love making people’s days!

    • Frank

      Ever seen commercials that immediately after it ends, it starts over?

      • Argent Stonecutter

        Ever seen commercials that immediately after it ends, it starts over?

        • T-Squared

          Ever seen commercials that immediately after it ends, it starts over?

        • silverfang16

          Yea really! As if once isn’t enough…. -_-

      • jacruz666

        yes, it’s very annoying! D:

    • Alphonse

      Head-On, apply directly to the forehead!

  5. TheLaw

    Reminds me of myself and my radio.(I set it on an alarm)

    • TheLaw

      Ah I see the *thump* sound was Grape slumping back down not a thump to the annoying sound box

  6. SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

    when did Aperture Science get a pharmaceuticals division?

    • TheLaw

      The boys in the lab tell me that this Proctlocotamine stuff us really dangerous. That is why you are going to test it!

      • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

        can’t you just imagine Cave Johnson reading these lines?

        • TheLaw

          Then he would say: If you buy Proctlocotamine I will get the boys down in the lab to give you a free Aperature science Crusher free if charge! What was that? Oh. The boys tell me that we cannot legally give the public Aperature Science brand Crushers. I’m the boss so I do what I want!

        • The Wolf Kin

          Heh, I can indeed.

          Proctlocotamine: now with the taste of explosive lemons!

    • Leitrean

      the bean-counters tell me im not supposed to tell you about the control group for Proctlocotamine, well you know what? forget them! i’ll talk about the control group if i want to!

  7. T-Squared

    Isn’t the way pharmaceutical companies name their medicines just wacky?! :D

    Typholodicomatismadrils- For all your ills! :D

  8. GameCobra

    It won’t stop itching. I am already disappointed by this outcome.–

    • silverfang16

      What you need….is more medication to counter that!

  9. AuvaAkita

    THIS……has got to be THEE most stupidest commercial EVER!!!!

    But then again, it’s exactly true to real life! XDD

  10. Kondog

    hail to the American pharmaceutical industry…

    • netherwolf

      hail all

      • Maxmice

        Hallelujah

        • Draven

          AMEN

    • Leitrean

      who said they were all american?

  11. Russiarules1

    Hey, it’s like the medicines in my country!

    • The Moon Howler

      It’s like medicine in everyone’s country

      • dragonbreath007

        I agree from Germany!

        • Yehoshua

          Ditto in Colombia.

    • Russiarules1

      I also want to make sure, I am talking about Mexico… my dad almost dies, once.

  12. Vladimir Zharkov

    Good to see grape is still enjoying herself.

    • $pike

      Whooooo high five everybody! *high fives vladimar zharkov*

    • Vladimir Zharkov

      “yhea!” *gives thumbs up*

  13. Varaleo

    “Head on apply directly to the forehead.” now repeat that 10 or more times for the whole commercial.

    • megaman64

      also try new and improved Face paw. Face paw apply directly to the face, symptoms include redness of the face and pain.

  14. Viath

    well, I believe last time someone was demanding to see Grape. I guess they got their wish!
    Rick, your television ad parodies are the best!

    • tbird000666

      THAT WAS MEEEEEEE YEAH!!!!!!

    • dragonbreath007

      Wow, Rick makes wishes come true?
      I want a Lamborghini!! :-D

      • tbird000666

        ill give u a cavalier

      • Frank

        Sorry, all I got is Ferraris

        • Draven

          Will a Rolls Royce be okay, I have extra Delorians, any takers

          • dragonbreath007

            GREAT SCOTT!! A Delorean?
            Draven, we have to send you back to the future!!

          • Frank

            But, Dragonbreath, there’s no road!

          • dragonbreath007

            Hah, roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads!

          • Draven

            you guys got it, heres a cookie for both of you *passes out cookies*

          • dragonbreath007

            Thanks! nom nom ….got milk?

          • Zarvain

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmbz8LpQry0
            Here, now best drink up or you’ll end up like Mr Miller…

          • Argent Stonecutter

            It’s OK, you’re safe in good old 1985, where a 10 megabyte hard disk costs 800 dollars and mobile phones were so big you had to leave them in your car.

        • dragonbreath007

          Do you think Proctlocotamine would bring poor Mr Miller’s arms back?

          • Draven

            I think it would make more grow just so he could lose those ones too

          • Zarvain

            Only if it didn’t kill him 1st.
            And of course a side effect of being used as this is a “slim” chance for lose of limb…

          • Zarvain

            Simo post, I call jinx on Draven!

  15. Souji

    Let’s all take pills that cause more embarrassing and painful health issues than they help prevent to cover up our embarrassing and painful health issues.

    • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

      there’s always more drugs to take care of the embarrassing and painful side effects.

      • Viath

        that each have their own side effects, which you take MORE drugs to take care of and eventually you’re eating more pills than food.

        • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

          insert Charlie Sheen joke that may or may not be removed by the mods.

          • Leitrean

            WINNING

  16. $pike

    rowdy ricky piper you’ve done it again *hangs rick griffins picture in the WWF hall of fame*

    • Tha Housedog

      …Ricky piper?

      Wha’?

      • huntersunday

        Roddy Roddy Piper is a wrestler who was put on the wall of fame so instead of Roddy Roddy Piper its Ricky Piper

      • $pike

        i miss ecw *sad face*

    • tbird000666

      huh

      • $pike

        I like wrestling ok i watch ecw alot…and i’ll use a baseball bat to get my point across to trolls…sometimes

        • Pogiforce

          How do you do that? I mean if you take a baseball bat to your computer I’d consider that a point for the trolls.

          • $pike

            i do BYW and i hope one day to get in TNA and meet tommy dreamer……but for now my backyard is my wrestleing ring and my baseball bat is my only friend.

  17. Valerio

    Television.
    Gotta love it ;)

  18. deathcloak

    u would make awsome commercials lol

  19. kimo

    aaaaahhhh the TV… well worth browsing netflix and watching the Naked Mile… which was predictable at best… personaly i like all the dietary supplements that all say either “Results not typical” or “Dramatization”

  20. ben

    what you call alternative medicine that works?

    • Oren Otter

      unpatentable.

    • netherwolf

      The best alternative medicine is a bottle of ale x3

      • huntersunday

        agree

        • Maxmice

          I second that

          • Draven

            Third

    • Shake

      Very rare.

    • tbird000666

      illegal.

    • Koran

      home-grown ones. I’d bet that a lot of herbs and other natural medicines are better than these silly artificial ones (here’s one for ya; if you get a burn on ya, run under cold water and press/sqeeze the inside of a slice of potato on the burn, my Dad says the potato starch is very effective.)

      • Rylus

        I’m in Arizona, so I was raised on using Aloe Vera plants for burns of any kind. The juice of that plant works like a charm.

      • Snowmon

        When I burnt the palm of my hand (literally on fire embers) my grandmother made me run cold water over it (standard procedure) and then made me hold cold butter. The pain stopped within the hour, but I had a huge blister.

        Even after it popped (and wearing special bandages) it didn’t scar at all.

        Clearly, natural remedies are better for the body. They always have been. It’s better to drink clean water than any other beverage (even when you’re sick). Cranberries help when your kidneys are having trouble with toxicity. Even my nutrition teacher constantly said, “If you had to chose between supplements (bottled vitamins) and real food (not fast/artificial), take the Food. The fresher the better.”

    • Thorn Walker

      Avoidance.

    • Argent Stonecutter

      Medicine.

      • ben

        Medicine! you win a cookie.

    • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

      WITCHCRAFT! BURN THE WITCH!!!

      • Indagare

        What makes you think she is a witch?

        • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

          it’s alternative medicine that works. it was a joke.

          • Indagare

            So was my reply, if you’d had gotten the reference. It ultimately would have involved weighing her against a duck.

          • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

            I always feel so dumb when I fail to notice Holy Grail references. for making me feel dumb, I say “ni”.

        • Leinad

          She looks like one!

          • Ninja lurker

            They dressed me up like this!

          • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

            we did do the hat. and the nose.

          • Ninja lurker

            But she’s still a witch! BURN HER!

  21. CalaverX11

    The largest consumer of cartoon-centric networks are adults, usually adults with young children or young grandchildren.

    • CalaverX11

      Of note, I am both an adult and an adult with a young child. I watch cartoons during the day all the time, and I can attest that 3 of every 10 commercials or so are “side effects include” commercials.

      • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

        I’m an adult who has no children, and I watch cartoons during the day.

        • tbird000666

          Hi I’m 18!

          • Frank

            Please tell me the “hi” part was because you were referencing Daisy

          • Yehoshua

            Hi I’m yehoshua!

    • Rylus

      Thanks to the 90’s, the golden age of awesome cartoons.

  22. Oren Otter

    I don’t need Proctyonimi… ploctoronomous… practicli… that stuff. I take a combination of Alyurbase and Darnitol. If those don’t work, I take Doankumin.

    • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

      I take Rickrol

      • Viath

        why do you take that stuff? it’s addicting. Once you start, you can never give it up!

        • Frank

          You, sir, have just won another cookie

          • Viath

            Yay! I love cookies!

      • huntersunday

        or let it down

        • The Wolf Kin

          And if you run around, it’ll hurt you.

          • Rick Griffin

            WARNING may cause dizziness or imbalance, do not run around or operate heavy machinery while taking Rickrol

      • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

        yeah, when all of these side effects came to light, all doctors but one stopped prescribing Rickrol.

        you’ll never get this from any other guy, now.

  23. Reconstruction

    Ignoring Skillz…Grape haz dem!

  24. LegendaryHero

    If real life commercials hung lampshades that hard, I would buy the product anyway.

  25. Clairvoyant Legacy

    Part of the reason I stopped watching television when I was 12.

  26. leaffly

    Oh no!!! Grape has been woken up from her beauty sleep! Poor Grape :c

    • netherwolf

      well at least for once it isn’t Peanut responsible for eaking her up x3

  27. YuMin28

    Yahn ~

  28. tbird000666

    YAY GRAPE!!!!

    • dragonbreath007

      Go and get her! :-D

      • tbird000666

        oh i will (smacks head on monitor)

        • dragonbreath007

          LOL ;3

          • Frank

            Because you just smacked your face into your MacBook?

          • Argent Stonecutter

            Do you have QWERTYITIS? You need the new Apple iPad, with a virtual keyboard you never again have to suffer the embarrassment of keycaps impressed into your forehead! Side effects may include snobbery, walking into people, surgically erased fingerprints, angry birds, and high cellphone bills!

          • Draven

            You sir, have won

          • sdo10

            iPad FTW!!! also,
            QUERTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

          • tbird000666

            not macbook dell

  29. netherwolf

    No wonder Grape was sleeping,a half hour with that commercial,even i would fall asleep.

  30. Shake

    Pretty much any commercial becomes incredibly annoying after spending X many years without watching TV. And the pharmaceutical ones are just mind-blowing in all the wrong ways.

    • Koran

      tell me about it, I haven’t regularly watched TV since uni (when I didn’t have easy access to one anyway). It’s all internet for me!

      • Zarvain

        Wait…there are still dino–I mean people who watch TV?!?

        • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

          I watch TV all day while simultaneously being online.

  31. Argent Stonecutter

    Are you suffering from Toyota Previa? Or some other car that sounds like an embarrassing medical condition? Well, come down to the Oldsmobile dealer and get a brand new Alero! It sounds like something you take for sniffling and sneezing, that’s got to be good! Side effects may include crushing consumer debt, parking tickets, wearing hats, and driving in both lanes at once…

  32. huntersunday

    You know I always find it funny that the side effects of pills is more than the helping effects

    • Zarvain

      I find it funny when the list of side effects is longer than the symptoms it is trying to counter.

      For further details see almost every other post above. =P

  33. The Wolf Kin

    What’s worse is not that sometimes these show three times in the same half hour, but when they’ll show two or three times in a ROW. I’ve sat down to watch a show, and on the first commercial break, I got three copies of the same ad, then the show started again.

  34. WingedWolfGirl

    FACE PALM,
    FACE PALM,
    FACE PALM,
    …applied directly to the forehead.
    …applied directly to the forehead.
    …applied directly to the forehead.

  35. Indagare

    Vitameatavegamin – it ails what’s good for ya.

    I think we’ve all seen these commercials, at least in the US.

  36. dragonbreath007

    You just can’t see him cause he is in mine!
    Did you think Elvis could be in two refrigerators at the same time?
    I DON’T THINK SO !!

    • dragonbreath007

      Huh? The comment i answered vanished.
      Nothing makes sense now.
      Sorry!

      • Nikola

        I thought it made perfect sense.

  37. $pike

    SAY IT WITH ME!!!! ECW ECW ECW……

  38. Roadrunner

    PROCTLOCOTAMINE

  39. Boe

    And people wonder why all medicine/treatment related advertisements are illegal where I live

    • megaman64

      whoa places like that exist?

  40. Cappy P

    Is… is Grape trying to yawn in a New England accent?

  41. Yehoshua

    Buy 20 now!

  42. Aep niatpaC

    And it’s so tasty too

    • Viath

      you’ve got to say it like you mean it!

  43. Z24

    One disadvantage about USA, their advertisements, they just don’t know how to not be honest…

    • Indagare

      That’s just one of the many advantages of living in a country where everyone can sue anyone for anything.

      • Z24

        The only ads that work are food ads. You see one and you get hungry….

  44. ZincChloride

    HI! I’M BILLY MAYS AND I’M HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS AMAZING NEW MEDICINE! DO YOU BLEED PERFUSLY FROM EVERY ORAFICE IN YOU BODY?!?! DO YOU OFFEND EVERYONE IN A 10 MILE RADIUS WITH YOUR CIST THAT AUDIBLY POP WHEN YOU DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING!?!? WELL NOW IS THE TIME TO BUY OMGIDKWTFITIS!!!! ……sideeffectsincludediahreavomitinganalleakagepregnancyinmenfetalmutationsandspontaneouscombustion…BUT WAIT IF YOU CALL IN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES WE’LL DOUBLE IT FREE!!! ……justpayprocessandhandlingwhichisoutrageousandactuallyrippsyouoffandcoversthecostoftheproductsoactuallyit’snotfreeandonlylaterwhenyougetthebilldoyourealizeyouranidot…

    • Mettlebird

      You sir just won ten internets.

    • Yehoshua

      Yeah that spontanious combustion sucks…

      • Nikola

        Thats nothing compared to pregnancy in men… UGH NOT AGAIN!!!!!

  45. Maxmice

    pretty much sums it all up

  46. Andrew Perron

    See, my only quibble is that you didn’t give it a short, trademarkable name of meaningless but vaugely technical-sounding noises – Zydrex or Talcor or Opzac.

    • Pogiforce

      This. This is true.perhaps called it… PROTOCONE.

      • SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent

        just call it “proctlo”

  47. Lastingimage24

    Stupidity. Apply directly to pharmaceutical companies…

  48. Quin the Husky

    Lol XD, this is great!

  49. Kurra

    Yeah, those commercials (and companies and FDA) are just… bonkers. Ugh.

  50. Faokryn

    This is almost, though not quite, as amazing as the History Channel one.

  51. xhunterko

    I feel your pain Grape. Ever try and listen to something on the radio? Same effect.

  52. Alphonse

    I think everything that could have been said about this, has already been said, so I digress.
    ^

  53. Rayne

    Why can’t white people take it?

    • $pike

      take what???

      • zeroslash

        The satirical medicine from the comic. The list of people who shouldn’t take it includes Caucasians.

    • Nikola

      Because the medicine’s main goal is to turn you white, and if white people took it, they would turn into sparkly vampires. How do you think the cullens got here.

  54. ShineVlue

    XD so cute!
    Yah—n!

  55. The almighty 404

    lol I hate it when they do commercials and then repeat them over and over again like that.

  56. coconut

    Haha, I hate those kinds of commercials! Like every time I see one, I’m thinking is there no other way for them to advertise medical prescriptions?

  57. esanhusky

    If you’re going to do something like this, you should at least try to exaggerate it a little bit XD

  58. Hobbes

    I did a research on the FDA, and bribes are rampant all through the FDA.

  59. Firewolf

    I was just talking about this with my bro! XD Those messages are all over the kiddy channels exactly as described…not that I watch the kiddy channels :P

    • Draven

      I do, I can’t get through the day without my Spongebob.

  60. HVNSNTSOLDIER

    As soon as I read this, I kept on thinking of “Mr. Diabeetus”

  61. Wolven

    I’m surprised Grape’s getting through her nap during.

  62. Wolven

    … wow, I’m hur durring at 2:50 AM

  63. gaboris

    Oh boy if ALL the commercial would be like that. X)
    BTW for some reason old Festus from New Vegas popped to mund while reading. :D

  64. Draven

    I felt the same way Grape did after 8 hours of video games at a friends house, nothing could possibly have bothered me at that point.

  65. Yehoshua

    How to determine when someone is not breathing

    Redness leading to a purple shade of color in the face.
    No breathing.

    I hope this has been useful to you.

  66. Ezhno Pallaton

    Pain Killers
    Side Effects : Death
    Handle with Care!

  67. Maikeru

    Cant forget all the medicines that after taking them for 5-10 years cause a more serious medical condition they just “Happen” to have come out with a drug for. At twice the price.

  68. Dogs Rule27

    TOO MANY WORDS I DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (Please no explanation please.)

  69. iHavezMyBirdo

    So true.

  70. Sansash

    “About a tenth of a percent of the population had the opposite reaction to the Pax. Their aggressor response increased beyond madness.”

  71. Hoheh

    This medicine definitely can cause huge amounts of embarrassing episodes. Thank you, random, uninformational commercials!